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  1. #11
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    Re: 4 year old's severe temper tantrums

    hello,

    I have a few of the same problems with my four year old little girl She just WONT listen. Throws screaming crying fits several times a day. I mean I really don't want her to be a miserable kid all the time. I take her out to places, park, punkin patches, zoo, museums, we read books, color, she play son the computer, I mean I really don't know what it is. At night she comes out of her room at least five to six times while I'm trying to study ... I feel like she has a sleep problem could this be possible? she's goes to bed around midnight, and up at 7. NO NAP. Refuses the nap. Sometimes after days of this she will crash at seven at night. I usually lay her down at nine. I thought that would be an appropriate time. And a psychiatrist seems so scary to take my child to. I wouldn't want her on any meds... would this happen? I know of some in my area I sell health plans but I just dont know a good dr for HER.

    thanks in advance!

  2. #12
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    Re: 4 year old's severe temper tantrums

    Quote Originally Posted by Fullofhope View Post
    she's goes to bed around midnight,
    Hi Fullofhope, I just came across your post and although I dont usually answer posts I felt I would in this instance. When you said your daughter goes to bed at midnight, is that because thats when you put her to bed? I would hope not. Even if you put her to bed at 9pm I would say that is too late for a 4 year old, even more so as she doesnt nap in the day, 7 hours sleep is no way near enough for a young child. I believe a 4 year old should be in bed sleeping by 8pm EVERY night with very few exceptions, they need 11-12hours a night sleep so she will probably sleep until 7am anyway.
    It sounds like she does have a sleep problem, she doesnt get enough! If my son doesnt get 10 hours sleep at least he is a nightmare the next day for grumpyness, tantrums etc.

    We had lots of sleep problems with him due to croup, collic, seperation from me, etc and I have found the key is routine, (explain how its going to be from now on), set a target bedtime, I would reccommend 7.30pm, start the bedtime routine at 6.30pm ish with a bath then pjs (I let my son have a cup of warm milk while he watches a short and non hectic tv programme after the bath) to relax further, then at 7.10pm (ish) we go upstairs, do wee wee, teeth etc then onto bed for his 'sit up' story which is a story of his choice then into bed for his 'lie down' story which is a fairly short relaxing story, we usually use the same one every night. He knows that after his 'lie down' story then its time to go to sleep, when we read it we have the lights dimmed and read it by torch light, it helps relax him but also makes it a bit fun too. He always take around 10 minutes to fall asleep after I leave the room, sometimes longer but because its a routine we generally stick to altho the times may change and he doesnt always have a bath he knows what to expect and I really believe that helps. Altho I wouldnt skip the bath etc when you first start the routine.

    I really would reccommend putting your little girl to bed earlier, she may not know she needs it but she does! I bet after a few nights or a week of consistant sleep you will see such a difference rather than taking her to see someone like a psychiatrist just yet.

    There could be more to your story but Im just responding to what I read and I hope it can help you a little at least!
    Good luck!

  3. #13
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    Re: 4 year old's severe temper tantrums

    My son who is now 9 was diagnosed with OCD before he was a year old. As he has gotten older the OCD issues would come out in the form of tantrums because things were not how he felt they should be. The OCD issues give him a sense that if something is not right then his world is not right until it is corrected. He is on medication and sees a therapist because he could not find the way to help himself and it helped for someone else to tell him how to handle it besides myself. As well, he has been diagnosed with sensory issues, doesn't like tags on his clothes or loud noises like at the movies. I even found out that part of it was because he didn't like the feeling of jeans on his legs, he has been better since I have bought track pants for him. Such little things can cause such big reactions and they cannot always tell you what is wrong because they don't know. We just spent a week of tantrums and today he was ready to tell me why, his therapist was no longer going to be there for him as she was covering someone on maternity leave. Now he has to bond with another therapist and he really liked the one he had. Until he was ready I could have tried to guess what the tantrums were for until I was blue in the face. When he has tantrums I try to get him to go to his room, I don't acknowledge the tantrum and give it more life. By ignoring him it takes the air out of the tantrum. Sometimes it is just a matter of hugging him and telling him I love him. Hopefully you can figure it out and he can be taught to self manage by giving him the tools needed. My son's therapist told him that when he has thoughts in his head that bother him they are his little green guys trying to bully him and he has to bully them back using the tools she has helped him to learn. It puts the onus on him to try to help himself cope. Perhaps if you went to a child psychologist to learn similar tools then you can help him..

  4. #14
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    Re: 4 year old's severe temper tantrums

    See also The Highly Sensitive Person: Elaine N. Aron Ph.D.: 9780553062182: Amazon.com: Books and her other books on HSPs.

    You'll also find information on HSPs here at Psychlinks: The Highly Sensitive Person: HSP.

  5. #15
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    Re: 4 year old's severe temper tantrums

    Just an update... it ws suggested by a psychiatrist and his therapist that he would do well with a pet to help him with his anxiety. We tried it and we couldn't have had a worse outcome. He loved the puppy when he got her but within 24 hours he refused to even touch her. He wanted to love her but said he could not keep up with what her needs were, I could see he was getting MORE anxiety. I ended up having to care for her and after a few days of great anger towards not only me but resentment of the pup now getting my attention it was decided that the pup would have to go to a different home, not only for his anxiety but also her safety. I was afraid he would get so angry that if left alone with her he would hurt her out of frustration. I think she sensed his anxiety and she would always nip at him. I am incredibly proud of him being able to say he could not do it instead of just going on with it. He cried so much when she was given to someone else and he felt like he should have been able to take care of her. I told him that he was so mature to be able to speak up and say he couldn't do it and it did not mean failure at all but instead it meant he succeeded in meeting his needs at the time. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can further help him with his anxiety? It has been suggested that he get a pet that is an adult and has the training instead of a pup and I suggested that he try babysitting someone's dog before trying again to see if it is what he can handle. I do not want to set him up further for feeling like he failed. We got the pup on a Saturday and she was removed from the home the following Tuesday. He tells himself that he should have tried harder but I remind him that if he cannot do it it is okay to say so, it was brave of him to try it.
    I want to add that he has been going through periods before we got the pup where he was again hearing voices and was replying to them telling them to leave him alone. We recently tried (about 3 weeks ago) to lower his dose of Abilify from 4 mg down to 3 but after about 3 days he was begging for it back and suggesting that with the anger he has been feeling that perhaps he needs more meds instead of less, he must really feel like he is losing control. I am not sure where to go from here. He doesn't see his neuropsychiatrist until the end of June but I keep him updated with Adam's progress but do not hear much back from him. I will share an email with his therapist today as he will be seeing her tomorrow morning after not having an appt for a couple of weeks. I wonder if that has anything to do with his anxiety increasing?

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