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  1. #1
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    Grieving and adapting to physical life changes

    Hi.

    Chronic health issues, mental and physical, especially the progressive deteriorating ones, losses from those things is another kind of grief to think about. For me my biggest is the forced changes and losses of not being able to do what I used to be able to do ... independence slips away more and more as disability sets in more and more. It's a tough pill to swallow some days ... it changes everything that was. Hard to adapt some days.

    That's my biggest problem these days, learning to recognize the new limits, accept them as my reality check, and adapt. Grieving is always happening, like ups and downs, ebbs and flows. As is acceptance and adapting, which ebbs and flows too. Some days are great. Some suck the big one.

    I get a lot out of visiting a couple of forums regards chronic and progressive deteriorating diseases, and they're great. Reading the posts and replies helps me gain perspective when I'm really losing it and feeling pathetic sorry for myself I also learn a whole bunch about my processes and things I can do to help manage symptoms and all better. Being stoic is sometimes a must because really, it is what it is and will be what it will be, and the best answer for me is one day at a time. It inspires and strengthens me when connecting with others walking similar walks, and the ups and downs that go with it, and just the practical information that actually helps to improve managing and functioning. Good stuff and thank god for the internet and the ability for us all to connect and network, supporting, and encouraging/helping each other ... it works!


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    Re: Grieving and adapting to physical life changes

    I think that definitely is a type of grief.

    Good stuff and thank god for the internet and the ability for us all to connect and network, supporting, and encouraging/helping each other ... it works!
    This is so very true. I'm glad you're here, sharing these thoughts and I think this is an inspiring post.

    I like this part:
    Being stoic is sometimes a must because really, it is what it is and will be what it will be, and the best answer for me is one day at a time.
    One day at a time.

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    Re: Grieving and adapting to physical life changes

    Thanks Janet.

    Adapting to major life and lifestyle changes when you aren't ready to is a real bummer sometimes ... gnawing and gnashing of teeth only makes it worse and hurts your teeth, but hey, that's part of the process too, right? One of the grief phases along the process.

    First you gnaw and gnash, then you learn to carry on with what you've got to work with, here and there, as you go. Yes, accepting unwanted realities is a real test ... connecting with others is a source of inspiration and a progressive strengthening along the way that helps me to pass the tests more often than not by getting real and getting on with it. And there is a LOT of humour along the way when sharing with others walking the walk.

    One day at a time


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    Re: Grieving and adapting to physical life changes

    Quote Originally Posted by Kanadiana
    Adapting to major life and lifestyle changes when you aren't ready to is a real bummer sometimes ... gnawing and gnashing of teeth only makes it worse and hurts your teeth, but hey, that's part of the process too, right? One of the grief phases along the process.
    I believe this is true.

    And there is a LOT of humour along the way when sharing with others walking the walk.
    Having humor is very important.

    I know you're going through a lot and have gone through a lot, but your posts are always upbeat and it's obvious you have a good sense of humor.

    I'm glad you shared this.

  5. #5
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    Re: Grieving and adapting to physical life changes

    Quote Originally Posted by Kanadiana
    Hi.

    Chronic health issues, mental and physical, especially the progressive deteriorating ones, losses from those things is another kind of grief to think about. For me my biggest is the forced changes and losses of not being able to do what I used to be able to do ... independence slips away more and more as disability sets in more and more. It's a tough pill to swallow some days ... it changes everything that was. Hard to adapt some days.

    That's my biggest problem these days, learning to recognize the new limits, accept them as my reality check, and adapt. Grieving is always happening, like ups and downs, ebbs and flows. As is acceptance and adapting, which ebbs and flows too. Some days are great. Some suck the big one.

    I get a lot out of visiting a couple of forums regards chronic and progressive deteriorating diseases, and they're great. Reading the posts and replies helps me gain perspective when I'm really losing it and feeling pathetic sorry for myself I also learn a whole bunch about my processes and things I can do to help manage symptoms and all better. Being stoic is sometimes a must because really, it is what it is and will be what it will be, and the best answer for me is one day at a time. It inspires and strengthens me when connecting with others walking similar walks, and the ups and downs that go with it, and just the practical information that actually helps to improve managing and functioning. Good stuff and thank god for the internet and the ability for us all to connect and network, supporting, and encouraging/helping each other ... it works!
    Hi Kanadiana,
    I wanted to say I admire your courage and honesty. Thank you for posting your experience about chronic health issues, I found it very interesting.
    With your perspective I am sure you will be encouraging, helpful to many at the forums. Take care

  6. #6
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    Re: Grieving and adapting to physical life changes

    Yes and thanks, progressively losing physical function and mobility, abilities is so hard to adapt to sometimes, and the chronic pain and fluctuating levels of disability, and what it all does to lifestyle and independence, and ability to earn, ... well ... when we have it all working, we take it for granted, and when it all starts to go ... wow.

    My basic nature, in spite of all I've been through and experienced from birth onward, and when not overwhelmed by struggle, is humorous and spirited. I love to laugh. And I do quite often. Amazing

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    Re: Grieving and adapting to physical life changes

    hi Kanadiana, just reading your post above and it really puts a lot of things into perspective for me. I found reading it inspiring and encouraging that we can despite what obstacles come our way, with abit of hard work, friends, support and humour we can get thru whatever it is.

    thank you so much for posting your experiences here.
    i think maybe one of your strengths is your humour.. it's brilliant!!!

    nsa

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    Re: Grieving and adapting to physical life changes

    Quote Originally Posted by Kanadiana

    Adapting to major life and lifestyle changes when you aren't ready to is a real bummer sometimes ... gnawing and gnashing of teeth only makes it worse and hurts your teeth, but hey, that's part of the process too, right? One of the grief phases along the process.
    Kanadiana,
    Change on any level upsets me. I don't like the unexpected. So to be going through the changes you are experiancing would drive me through the wall!! I think alot of people are like me, for instance, my fear of growing older is my fear that my life is changing (which it does - stupid fear huh? :red. I would aggree with you that you can feel grief for your old life, and what you used to do, and I would say that perhaps a way to deal with the grief is to look at possitive things from your new life that you didn't have before. However, I don't know the progressive deteriorating illness that your suffering from and so don't want to be a 'smart-alec'
    doh, I am being a really ranter today, and probably not making any sense what so ever. Just know that your post made sense to me, and I'm sending you some mental hugs!!
    (and because we are on a psychological forum, I'll clarify and say that I mean telepathic hugs, not 'crazy' ones!! )

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    Re: Grieving and adapting to physical life changes

    Kanadiana,

    I just wanted to say that your post was very courageous and I think what you said about having the internet to support each other is soooo true.

    Thank you for sharing and take care

  10. #10
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    Re: Grieving and adapting to physical life changes

    Quote Originally Posted by nsa
    hi Kanadiana, just reading your post above and it really puts a lot of things into perspective for me. I found reading it inspiring and encouraging that we can despite what obstacles come our way, with abit of hard work, friends, support and humour we can get thru whatever it is.

    thank you so much for posting your experiences here.
    i think maybe one of your strengths is your humour.. it's brilliant!!!

    nsa
    Thanks a lot NSA ... it's great to be told how my posts effect people, because I don't always know and sometimes wonder

    It's only through hearing and reading others peoples stories and thoughts that taught me to be able to open up and speak about my own experiences and thoughts, through the years. I've gained tons of insights and even practical approaches to dealing with myself and life events, through other people simply through reflecting on their thoughts etc. When everything is happening in my own head, I lose perspective and view things from my own little narrow mindspaces and sometimes get lost and stuck there ... and to hear or read someone elses stuff, is so often like a light coming on, and new doors opening, that I didn't realize I had open to me before I just read those words by so-and-so etc. There's also a lot of , "WOW, me too. You nailed that one right on the head for me!"

    Its like hearing others gives me insights and knowledge about who I am that I wasn't aware of before ... including strengths and abilities. It's through others I know myself, so often. Great reality checks Not always pleasant to learn about some stuff, but definately always empowering

    I think we all just inadvertantly draw each other out, and out from under, and that's the beauty of communicating with each other. We help each other to carry on and grow.

    Thank god for the internet that lets us do this at home any time we want to and can get at the computer too!

    I don't know that my humour is brilliant, but I do know that it comes and goes at the most surprizing and incredible times sometimes LOL ... and god how I miss that spirit when I lose touch with it sometimes, when overwhelmed by "stuff"

    K.

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