Thanks Thanks:  0
Likes Likes:  0
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 20
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Is Avoidance anxiety?

    I have come to realize exactly how many things I go out of my way to avoid. Mainly social things such as parties, group activities, vacations. Dating is hard, I get so far with it but often it is just agonizing. At work its presentations, public speaking and business travel that cause me anxiety and when ever possible I try to get out of these things. I never go to the staff cafeteria, I never sit in the lunchroom and have lunch with others, I prefer to go out by myself or work through my breaks. Sometimes I decide I will take a class or join an activity but I always find a reason to quit right away or not go at all. I think it’s the thought of being humiliated that drives me to avoid things.

    I do recognize life would be better if I stopped avoiding things. I do have some friends outside of work, I can go out but prefer if its one on one or a small group of people I know well. Does this sound like social anxiety disorder or avoidant personality? Am I simply lazy? Do I need to get help for this?

    I don’t feel like a reclusive type, I actually do enjoy people and think I am social when I am comfortable, I am not the type to sit there and say nothing, I dont feel shy. For whatever reason social things seem to cause me stress, but it would be quite embarrassing to have to admit this to someone, I have gone out of my way to hide it. I would welcome another opinion. Do you think this is unhealthy behaviour?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    The Land of Wheat Kings
    Posts
    754
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Is Avoidance anxiety?

    Hi Autumncolours,

    Welcome to the forum. I really like your name, it brings up warm feelings - I love autumn and the way the leaves change and how the sky becomes a darker shade of blue.

    As for your question:

    Do you think this is unhealthy behaviour?
    I only think it's unhealthy if it's causing you distress or you're suffering somehow. Some people prefer to be alone and spend their time with a few close friends or family. I think society sometimes pressures people into thinking that they need a big social group and they should always be going out with friends. But I think it depends on the person and what she or he wants/feels comfortable with.

    However, it does sound that you would like to be more social. How long have you been feeling this way?

    Take care,

    jm

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Ottawa, Canada
    Posts
    36,739
    Mentioned
    24 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Is Avoidance anxiety?

    As a quick guess, I'd say it sounds like social anxiety to me, autumn.

    Have a look at some of the resources at Anxiety Disorders and Shyness and Social Anxiety.

    Also see Good books on Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT): David Burns.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Is Avoidance anxiety?

    I suspect you are right, this is something I have felt as long as I can remember. It would be nice to be a little more comfortable in these situations.
    Thank you both for your reply and a list of the resources that are available. How does one get the nerve up to go to see a psychologist, I mean I know they have heard it all before, but I feel it would be embarassing having to admit this?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    4,104
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Is Avoidance anxiety?

    If one can just realize that there isn't anybody alive who wouldn't, and couldn't, benefit from therapy, it becomes easier to reach out to a psychologist to help sort through some of the problems we face in life. There's no shame in asking for help. In fact, to do so shows courage and the committment to be the best "you" you can be.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    5,390
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Is Avoidance anxiety?

    autumncolours there is nothing embarrassing about admitting any of this to a psychologist. in fact i think anxiety is probably as common to psychologists as the flu or heart problems are to a family doctor. i think if you can get up the courage to see one you will be glad you did. it's scary for anyone to decide to see a therapist but you will see it will be well worth the effort.
    ~ our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising each time we fall - confucius
    ~ it is the journey, not the destination, that matters
    ~ keep hanging on, the sun will come shining through for you again

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Ottawa, Canada
    Posts
    36,739
    Mentioned
    24 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Is Avoidance anxiety?

    BBC and Thatlady are right, Autumn. This is a much more common problem than you realize. No one will think you're weird or look down on you for seeking help with this.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    The Land of Wheat Kings
    Posts
    754
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Is Avoidance anxiety?

    Just wanted to add my two cents, I agree with TL, bbc and Dr. Baxter. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, you just need to take that first step. You can do it.

    Take care,

    jm

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Smile Re: Is Avoidance anxiety?

    Thank you all for your encouragement, I really appreciate knowing that.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,720
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Is Avoidance anxiety?

    I also agree with TL, ladybug, Dr. Baxter, and JustMary. I usually feel better about myself after I find I have opened up to a therapist or psychiatrist about what's been troubling me or holding me back. Keeping it inside does no good in the long run, and even well-meaning friends are often ill-equipped to provide helpful, non-hurtful feedback. Also, friends tend to talk to others, or among themselves--your words, thoughts, and feelings are safe with a professional.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Disclaimer: PsychLinks is not responsible for the content of posts or comments by forum members.

Additional Forum Web Design by PsychLinks
© All rights reserved.