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Thread: Not depressed?

  1. #1
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    Not depressed?

    I don't really know where to post this or what to title it...but i guess this will do. Just over a week ago my car was repossessed by the bank.....yep. they really do come in the middle of the night. This is not just a car, but it was a roof over my head and a guarantee that my dogs will always be with me. As some of you may know, its been a struggle to pay for my medications as my insurance refuses to pay for the drugs i need. Every month is a struggle as I try to pay bills while getting most of my meds from India where they are cheaper. Well everything finally caught up with me and with two dollars to my name my car was taken. I should add that as of December 1st I finally got insurance that actually covers my meds but it just wasn't fast enough.
    My first call was to a friend who told me to call the bank....I didn't know what the procedure was and if it was even possible to get back. To make a long story short-it took two days and with the help of my Temple who gave me the money to get my car back, I was able to retrieve my car!!!!! Oddly enough though, I was ABLE to make call after call after call, fax documents, wait and make more calls all without crashing and feeling overwhelmed or depressed!!!!
    Two days later I came down with Broncitus and have had to spend a week in bed. But still I am not depressed!!!!
    If this isn't proof that my depression is some chemical problem I don't know what it could be. In other words, I've been through all these things and yet no depresssion. Is this odd or should I expect to crash anytime?
    In friendship
    Rosa
    yes, I am very lucky.....Temple has always been very important to me, but I never thought I would go to them for money....they even asked about food and gave me money for food....what a blessing!!!

  2. #2
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    Re: not depressed???

    Hi Rosa

    Ich, you're having a time of it. <- it wont pay the bills, but I hope it gives you a smile.

    About your mood, with everything going on, you may not have had the time to feel a crash, and yes, with the extra stress - it may be coming, however - try to enjoy the fact that you haven't crashed yet, and try not to think about crashing. Who knows? If you are able to keep your activity up, perhaps your endorphines will help you get over it, before you get under it.

    Take care, if you feel yourself crashing, start talking to someone that you feel safe with, and let it all out before you takes a hold on you.

    Big Hugs:

  3. #3
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    Re: not depressed???

    Rosa,

    First of all, I am so glad to hear from you...it feels like it has been a while and I missed you around

    Second while reading your post at first I was going to say sorry to hear about your car problems but then as I kept reading my thoughts turned to that's great about your car and the support that was offered to you. You truly must have great support and friends at your Temple...that in itself is a blessing to be thankful for.

    Third, I too think that Phoenix may have a point, that so much is happening that it may only be after the stress and anxiety of the whole situation is over will the crash occur. If it does, again turn to your Temple and your Rabbi, who I know you are close with, for support that you need.

    However on the other hand, maybe the meds are truly doing their job and the crash is not going to happen and if not then enjoy this feeling and be proud of yourself for getting through a really rough time without crashing and having that defeated feeling. That is a huge accomplishment and something to be celebrated.

    Whether the crash happens or not, I don't think that anyone can predict it but I would keep your guard up that it might so that you don't slip too far down before you reach out for help.

    Take care and lots of hugs to you.

  4. #4
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    Re: not depressed???

    thanks phoenix and nancy.....so good to see you both again!!! I think your right in that it's a good idea to be prepared in case it does happen and aware that this might be the case. Nancy, I will definately keep my Rabbi informed-he has been such wonderful help ...I can't even begin to say how helpful he was in a time of crisis. I had never asked for money like that before and he made it so easy for me-it helped that he allready knew i was struggling with buying my meds.
    I'm thinking after all of this I'm much better off....i even got a fresh new start with my car payments which are now current and can be made now that i won't have to pay out so much for meds!!!!! More important than that though, my bond with my Temple is even stronger now and thats priceless.
    In friendship
    Rosa

  5. #5
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    Re: not depressed???

    i think the kind of support you have been given from friends and the temple is sort of a vaccine against becoming depressed again. when i was very very depressed at one point, it was awful. however, some out of town family came to visit, and i am still amazed at what a huge difference this made to me mentally, but also physically. my energy literally returned. simply for them being there to see me and spend time with me. it seemed quite miraculous. i never looked back after that, i just hung on to that energy their visit gave me to keep me going, just clung to that momentum. getting well was still hard, but not as hard as before the visit. it was a turning point in my recovery. i guess what i am saying is you may not necessarily crash, knowing that the love and care for you is there for you in your temple and with your friends.
    ~ our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising each time we fall - confucius
    ~ it is the journey, not the destination, that matters
    ~ keep hanging on, the sun will come shining through for you again

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