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Thread: Transference...

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    Transference...

    I went thru transference with my ex T, Altho i don't know if I would of had she not gone thru counter-transference...This is the BIGGEST reason why I don't want to trust my current T...How do you avoid transference in therapy?....RIMH

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    Re: Transference...

    Some would argue that you don't, because if you could therapy wouldn't work.

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    Re: Transference...

    I had never heard of transference until I was about 6 months into current therapy. I got so confused and frightened by all the feelings I was having that I started to read and discovered a whole new concept!

    I'm still not entirely sure I get all the nuances of transference, and I still don't always recognize when it is happening. And at times it is absolutely frightening and painful when it is happening.

    I'm not sure I can explain why, but I think Dr. Baxter's suggestion that it might be necessary might really be true. Again, I'm not sure why.

    Here is what I know, at least for me, is really true: therapy is all about the relationship. Healthy risk (the cost of change) requires healthy trust.

    And it takes time, sometimes lots and lots of time, to develop healthy trust. For those of us whose trust has been repeatedly betrayed, trust might seem like more adversary than friend, more like obstacle than goal. But I have learned myself that trust can develop, over time.

    If my therapist were not as trustworthy as he has proven to be, if he had not worked so hard to help me feel safe and understood, if I didn't come to believe over time that he really does have my best interests at heart, then I would not have been able to tolerate the transference. Nor do I think it would have been healthy and useful to do so.

    I encourage you to hang in there, keep talking, keep going back -- as long as your best instincts lead you to believe that this therapist might be trustworthy (even while you don't trust her yet). If the tranference develops and becomes difficult, a trust worthy therapist will help you manage it......

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    Re: Transference...

    Unfortunately, or fortunately, transference is in pretty much any relationship. Its kind of how we learn and grow, through reflecting on it and changing perspective. Ideally. Hurts like hell sometimes though... [said with intense feeling..]

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    Re: Transference...

    gee this info is soo encouraging NOT!@!!!!!!!!!!! RIMH

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    Re: Transference...

    .This is the BIGGEST reason why I don't want to trust my current T...How do you avoid transference in therapy?
    At the risk of stating the obvious, transference is not synonymous with trust, let alone blind trust:

    For instance, one could mistrust somebody who resembles an ex-spouse in manners, voice, or external appearance; or be overly compliant to someone who resembles a childhood friend.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transference

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    Re: Transference...

    i've been reading up on transference today and am a little confused as to what it really is, and why it is useful and inevitable in therapy. i seem to get an idea that it has to do with how you treat or view a person you meet - that it's based on people you know or knew in the past. can anyone explain what its function is supposed to be?
    ~ our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising each time we fall - confucius
    ~ it is the journey, not the destination, that matters
    ~ keep hanging on, the sun will come shining through for you again

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    Re: Transference...

    In broad terms, you might think of it as a process by which the client/patient revisits dysfunctional or distressing relationships in his/her life by in a sense recreating them in a safe context with the therapist and working through the conflicts or hurts that have arisen out of those earlier relationships.

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    Re: Transference...

    thanks for the explanation, it's making better sense now
    ~ our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising each time we fall - confucius
    ~ it is the journey, not the destination, that matters
    ~ keep hanging on, the sun will come shining through for you again

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    Re: Transference...

    That does explain it much better...thanks David

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