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  1. #1
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    Have you ever witnessed a death?

    I have, twice.

    Once when I was about 7 yrs old, I was sitting on the porch, and I saw a kid on a bike get run over by a car. I ran inside to tell my mother what I just saw, and she didnt believe me right off till she heard the commotion outside. Not sure what impact it had on me, but obviously I never forgot it.

    Another time, there was an explosion down the road, that literally knocked me right out of bed. I think I was around 13 at the time, and ran down the street to see what was going on. I witnessed a man running out of the building... I remember screaming, and then nothing after that, so I know that affected me really bad.

    Has anyone else witnessed a death of someone, and how has it impacted you? Is there anything to be learned from it? I still dont have an answer to that one myself...
    Last edited by David Baxter; March 29th, 2007 at 01:19 PM. Reason: some details deleted to limit triggering

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    Re: Have you ever witnessed a death?

    Though I have never witnessed the actual ocurrance of someone dying, the closest was at about the same age of 7 I arrived at an intersection on my bicycle where a man was struck.

    The image that stayed in my mind was the color of his trousers, a very particular shade of blue. I can still see that color in my mind's eye today.

  3. #3
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    Re: Have you ever witnessed a death?

    Steve, thats very similar to what I experienced.. I dont think I was traumatized at all, and I assume its because I was so young.. Kids have an amazing ability to just go on with their day for some reason. Now if I saw this when I was a lot older, I dont know how I would have reacted...

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    Re: Have you ever witnessed a death?

    I never thought much about it, but I guess you're right, I wouldn't have thought of myself as being traumatized by that experience, but I recall for many years after the event, I would feel nauseous if I saw a similar color of blue.

    Oh yes, now that I think about it, there was an odor at that accident scene which came back to me as I write this to you. Amazing how our memory works!

    Other events, a lot less dramatic affected me more deeply during my lifetime so I guess what you alluded to is quite right...when we're young we move on more easily.

    Thanks for inroducing this very interesting discussion. I'd be eager to hear about the experiences of others.

  5. #5
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    Re: Have you ever witnessed a death?

    Wow, this topic absolutely floored me when I saw it I didn't know if I was going to write or not but obviously I am

    Yes I have witnessed a death. It was my grandmother's death almost 5 years ago. I had spent nearly 3 days at her bedside while she had lapsed into a coma-like state. I was laying on her bed beside her holding her hand and rubbing my hand through her hair while telling her that we would be all right and it was okay for her to let go. I witnessed her breath getting more shallow and finally her last breath.

    I had never understood the meaning of a peaceful death until that day while laying on her bed.

    Although it was not an accidental death it was natural causes, it was a very traumatic day for me personally.

  6. #6
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    Re: Have you ever witnessed a death?

    Wow. My first post after the greeting. I'm sorry you all have gone through some type of pain due to witnessing a death. Halo, I'm sorry about your Gram. I'm glad she died peacefully.

    My DAD! I watched my dad die and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. More hurtfull, and traumatizing was my child was there and it was Christmas morning. My dad helped me raise my child and he was her world.

    My dad was 62 years old. Healthy save for his diabetes which he had under control. He never cheated EVER as in not touching a piece of cake or sweets. Followed the diet and he exercised daily as instructed.

    We had opened gifts after he had eaten and took his insulin. He had also just retired. The big excitement was babrbie's airplane which was hard to get that year but my dad went half way round our city to find that thing for my child. After we all exchanged gifts my dad went for his daily walk.

    He came home and sat on the couch. He took off his boots. My daughter called in to him "Can we put the decals on the plane now Poppi?" My dad didn't answer. Honestly although I was upstairs I KNEW! My dad would NEVER not answer my daughter. I rushed downstairs to see my mom cradeling my dad's head and my little girl saying "Mommy, mommy help pop, please". I thought maybe he bottomed out so I grabbed the sugar bowl and tried so bad to get some into his mouth. It was obvious he had a stroke because his mouth was distorted. Sugar went everywhere and I called 911.

    My dad turned his head and said "No, no", and then that horrendous death rattle. My mom told me to get my daughter upstairs. I did. Poor kid kept repeating like a mantra "He'll be O.K. He'll be O.K."

    The paramedics still tried to paddle him on the floor. These paramedics who see the worse there is in life and death actually had tears in their eyes having to paddle a man next to a child's toys.

    The weird thing is and I hate this it somehow didn't traumatize me in the way I thought I would freak out. I am not a calm person. Maybe I had to be calm for my child?

    Oddly and this is weird I saw the icons here and that parakeet we had one looked like that. My dad took care of him. The week before he died he went to feed him and dropped the food. I saw him hold his shoulder and shake his arm. I asked what was wrong and he said "I don't know I keep dropping stuff and got a little pain in my arm". I feel so guilty I didn't think it could be a heart thing. Then again my dad was tough and never complained so it'd not have done any good anyway.

    Death though to me is freedom for that person to cross over. Just my thoughts any way.

  7. #7
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    Re: Have you ever witnessed a death?

    Halo, I'm sorry about your Gram. I'm glad she died peacefully
    Thanks Lilhelp

    I too am sorry to hear about your Dad and the experience that you had to witness. I can relate to that connection that your daughter had with your Dad as that was the same sort of connection that I had with my grandmother.

  8. #8
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    Re: Have you ever witnessed a death?

    Quote Originally Posted by Halo View Post
    Thanks Lilhelp

    I too am sorry to hear about your Dad and the experience that you had to witness. I can relate to that connection that your daughter had with your Dad as that was the same sort of connection that I had with my grandmother.
    Thanks, Halo.

    No doubt about it your Grandmom is with you at all times now. I truly believe that.

  9. #9
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    Re: Have you ever witnessed a death?

    Sunset,

    Ive witnessed two deaths of two very good friends many years ago, one in the 1970's the other 1980's and both had a impact on me. I would like to write more but won't as I think it may upset others, one was a suicide and the other drug related.
    Last edited by sister-ray; March 30th, 2007 at 07:00 AM. Reason: spelling

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    Re: Have you ever witnessed a death?

    Ok, I know I started this, but reading your responses has me in tears over here.. I guess this is what opening pandoras box means.

    Lilhelp... I cant imagine how hard that day was for you, your daughter and your mom. I think you didnt freak out, because your child was there, and being a mom kicked into overdrive. You were more concerned about protecting your child from seeing anything that could really impact her at such a young age, than you were about yourself.. I actually think its a "normal" response in that particular situation. Just guessing, but it sounds right to me. I think I would have done the same thing.
    I am sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds wonderful!!

    Halo, I am also sorry for the loss of your grandmother. It has to be a tough thing to watch someone you love take their last breath, even though it was peaceful. ((((hugs)))


    Through these eyes.... I am sorry for your losses too. I know suicide is a tough one and I had a cousin who they said committed suicide. (They never found her) but even though people say its a "selfish act", I always said How much pain does a person have to be in to actually commit suicide? Yes, its a hard thing for people left behind, but I always feel for the suicidal person too.


    Steve.. Maybe in another post if you can or want to tell us what less dramatic things affected you more, I would be interested. But only if you are comfortable..

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