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  1. #1
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    Personality change

    I do not know if this the correct spot to ask for comments...today being the first time I have seen this website. I am not even sure questions such as I have are even discussed openly here. Obviously doctors (and others) do not prescribe therapy etc in this venue....but I am obliged to at least pose my question.
    I am perplexed by an almost complete change in personalty of my 36 year old daughter. She has gone from a mother of two girls who spent too much on them etc etc to someone who is on the verge of breaking up her marriage (to a good man)..to hanging out with what we consider to be undesirable moral types (including some jerk of a man) ....to squandering large sums of money and not responsing to attempts to talk to her abaout what is going on. Her mother has tried and tried and even goes so far as to say "i don't know her anymore."
    Needless to say we are all at wit's end........we wonder about mental illness of some sort....we cannot think of any other rational reasons for such a change in a person. We also wonder if gambling and/or drug usage coculd be involved.
    We are starting to consider a "family intervention" and even a so-called "health warrant". We feel she needs some kind of help for sure.
    Does anyone have any comments?? We are getting desperate. We just do not understand.
    Thank you all for reading this and ANY response would be most welcome.
    Dodger

  2. #2
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    Re: Personality change

    She could be involved in a second childhood situation, maybe drug abuse in this circle of new friends is causing this.

  3. #3
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    Re: Personality change

    Substance abuse may be a possibility, yes.

    Another very real possibility could be a hypomanic episode in bipolar disorder. And there are a few others that come to mind.

    However, the sad reality is there is probably little or nothing that you can do about it until or unless she gets to the point where she acknowledges that there is a problem or something that she wishes to change.

  4. #4
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    Re: Personality change

    The change in personality has not been a fleeting sort of thing but has been ongoing at least for the past few months. Does that sort of scenario sound In very general terms, of course) similar to the mentioned hypomanic episode or would that be more of a "now and again" sort of situation?
    She won't talk about how things have become......."people should mind their own business" is how she has phrased her feelings. But her two kids ARE our business.....we worry about them.
    Thank you...Dodger

  5. #5
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    Re: Personality change

    It could be, Dodger. The parameters vary quite a bit from one individual to another. Sometimes, a hypomanic episode is quite short-lived; in other cases, it can last several weeks or months.

    As for the children, I assume their father is their to look after their interests? If not, you could involve the CAS and perhaps even request interim custody.

  6. #6
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    Re: Personality change

    Hello Dodger,

    With the possibility that your loved one may have or is developing an illness, it is recommended to keep a record with dates and specific behaviours. You can forget things over time and it gives you some indication of patterns or time frames.

    Include all observations by family, friends and coworkers:

    Eating patterns
    Sleeping patterns
    Odd behaviours
    Odd things she says
    Anything else you think is important

    Depending on where you live there are different support groups for family members of people with mood disorders that you can attend. You don't need a diagnosis in a family member to attend. There you will get all of the support you need about how to best handle the situation with your daughter.

    In the US there is NAMI and in Canada there is the Mood Disorders Society of Canada. Each of these will have a group close to where you live.

    I have an exhusband who has bipolar and a son who has schizophrenia and am very involved with support groups. Things will get worked out somehow with your daughter.


  7. #7
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    Re: Personality change

    Thank you for your encouraging words...we have been at our wit's end for some time now. Every emotion in the book..from anger, hurt, disappointment, etc etc
    Thank you again
    Dodger

  8. #8
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    Re: Personality change

    It is a very painful and confusing thing to go through, Dodger. We all go through the same range of emotions. Whatever you are feeling is perfectly normal.

    What can help to deal with really bizarre behaviour is to see it as an illness that is behaving strangely rather than the person who is behaving strangely. Then you can be really angry at the illness and feel more compassion for the person. This has helped me get through many difficult times.

    It is not uncommon for people to notice that something is just not right with their loved one... then, a very long time can pass before the person gets a diagnosis or the help they need.

    Keep looking for answers and you will eventually find them.


  9. #9
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    Re: Personality change

    Thank you HeartArt.....I must say that your words of experience have had a soothing affact on my emotions. My wife has preceeded me somewhat in sorting things out and has had less of a "sour feeling" of late about our daughter and more concern about the supposed disease, if that is what it is. Our daughter has never been onme to "talk" much and she won't now. Her cousin (my wife's sister's daughter) said Friday it is the first time in their mutual lives (she and my fdaughter) have not been able to talk and confide in each other. She wants to help also...(she is a real sweetheart) but how CAN we help??
    I know you understand....it helps to "speak" with someone like yourself..we have felt so alone. For some reason your words have seemed to reach me..........and as well I am very appreciative of the doctor's comments. A website such as this one is a blessing.
    Thank you very much....to all
    Dodger

  10. #10
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    Re: Personality change

    i just wanted to wish you good luck with the situation and i hope that you can find support and help locally to deal with this.
    ~ our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising each time we fall - confucius
    ~ it is the journey, not the destination, that matters
    ~ keep hanging on, the sun will come shining through for you again

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