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  1. #1
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    How do I support a friend over time?

    How do I support a friend, over time, who lost a 4yr old to brain cancer?

  2. #2
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    Re: How do I support a friend over time?

    I am sorry HeartArt to hear about your friend's child and my heart truly goes out to him/her. I don't know how to answer your question but I just wanted to send my hugs and say that they are in my thoughts and prayers.


  3. #3
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    Re: How do I support a friend over time?

    The only thing you can do, HeartArt, is to be there for your friend. There will be times when your friend will need a listening ear, or a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to sit quietly with, knowing his/her pain and grief are understood.

    We can't bring back what's gone. All we can do is to try to offer comfort and support during the grieving process.

    My sincere sympathies to your friend for this grievous loss.

  4. #4
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    Re: How do I support a friend over time?

    HeartArt,

    Losing a child is probably more devastating to a parent that even the loss of their spouse, if that is possible. I guess it's almost programmed into us that the elders pass on before the children.

    We have friends who experienced the same kind of loss, except for them it was their grandchild.

    One of the ways in which they keep the memory of the child alive is a memorial deal on the real window of their car.

    Since this particular one, I've seen others but don't know where they get them.

    The result is that people will often ask them about the young person and I believe by giving them an opportunity to vocalize the story again and again helps the grieving process.

    As has been alluded to by TL, allowing your friend to ventilate is probably the best support that can be offered.

    Being able to ventilate frustrations and sorrow to another caring soul seems to help lessen the burden.

  5. #5
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    Re: How do I support a friend over time?

    Okay, thank you. I was not sure if there was anything that I needed to be aware of that would be particularly helpful or on the other hand anything that would be harmful that they wished people would know.

    Over time, is no different then a short time after the loss then?

    Thanks again, I just don't want to make things more painful.

    Steve, did you mean decal and rear window?

  6. #6
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    Re: How do I support a friend over time?

    You can't make things more painful by being a friend, showing concern, and offering support. If you find that your friend is really having a problem coping, I'd suggest a grief support group run by a grief counsellor. Often, that's what a person needs to help them work their way through the misery of a loss such as this.

  7. #7
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    Re: How do I support a friend over time?

    Thank you, ThatLady

    That was very helpful.

  8. #8
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    Re: How do I support a friend over time?

    I cant imagine what your friend is going through. My heart breaks for her in her loss.
    I think they gave you some good ideas as to how you can be there for your friend, so I wont repeat it.

    (((hugs)))

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