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  1. #31
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    Re: Difficulty with eye contact

    One problem with focusing on medication as the sole answer is that it can lower self-efficacy.

    For me, a lot of my hope comes from knowing that I am stronger (more mentally resilient) than I sometimes think.

  2. #32
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    Re: Difficulty with eye contact

    I just can't probably articulate how desperately awkward and strange I am. think I know where this is heading, and it isn't good.

    I think I did something horrible in a previous life, or a source of something is torturing me, because that's what it feels like. If I had any belief in God, it's all been shattered.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Once I lose this job (and I will lose it), I can sell the house I have, the ORA and checking and get an RV. With $125k (maybe more) I might be able to stretch that until I cant, and then go on the street.

  3. #33
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    Re: Difficulty with eye contact

    Quote Originally Posted by Roy H. View Post
    I just can't probably articulate how desperately awkward and strange I am. think I know where this is heading, and it isn't good.

    I think I did something horrible in a previous life, or a source of something is torturing me, because that's what it feels like. If I had any belief in God, it's all been shattered.
    I think most people with mental disorders, including myself, have felt that way (in varying degrees and at various points). But there is hope. For me, I don't even really need a lot of hope (which concerns the future) if I can focus on today and stop taking negative thoughts/predictions/conclusions at face value.

    Have you ever read a book by David Burns? They are excellent. One of his points is that people with terminal illness usually feel more hope than people with depression -- an example of how distorted thoughts can be with depression or anxiety.

  4. #34
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    Re: Difficulty with eye contact

    Quote Originally Posted by Roy H. View Post

    Once I lose this job (and I will lose it), I can sell the house I have, the ORA and checking and get an RV. With $125k (maybe more) I might be able to stretch that until I cant, and then go on the street.
    Since homelessness is a recurring theme for you, I don't know if you fully realize the safety nets that are out there, e.g. unemployment insurance, SSI, SSDI, etc. At least half of my small town primarily lives off of some form of Social Security (retirement or disability). But it helps one's claim to be getting therapy in addition to medication.

  5. #35
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    Re: Difficulty with eye contact

    And there are social workers at the local, federally-funded job centers and affiliated agencies that provide vocational rehab, job placement, etc.

    Welcome to Benefits.Gov | Benefits.Gov

    I went to my local job center last year and was surprised how much they offered. They even reimburse local employers who hire their clients and provide on-the-job training.

  6. #36
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    Re: Difficulty with eye contact

    Also, the federal government and its contractors are required to give hiring preference to certain groups, including those with mental disorders:

    Information for Persons With Disabilities - Go Government

    (One of the largest employers is the VA hospitals. And, as you probably know, it is very hard to be fired from a government job.)

  7. #37
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    Re: Difficulty with eye contact

    You can't foresee the future anymore than anyone else can, @Roy H.

    The only thing certain is that if you do nothing proactive to help yourself and to make changes, everything will stay the same.

    As @Daniel has pointed out, there are many available resources to help you. Check them out. See which ones apply to you.

    Are you still going to see your therapist?

  8. #38
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    Re: Difficulty with eye contact

    No I stopped with the therapist months ago. Maybe I went to 3 sessions?


    I've tried about 4 of them now over the years and it's always the same thing - I get to a few sessions in and it just seems like I'm paying them to shoot the breeze with me.


    If the prozac doesn't aleviate the issues I'm having, I might need to rethink being on anything. The really good benefit about the prozas is that it seemed to help my overeating - I was eating more regularly on it (lately it seems like less).


    I'm going to have to go back to see the doctor again and get more opinions.

  9. #39
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    Re: Difficulty with eye contact

    *sigh*

    I've said it before: you are your own worst enemy. YOU are what is stopping you from moving forward.

    Stay on your medication.

    Go back to therapy.

    Doing SOMETHING will help.

    Doing NOTHING will NOT help.

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