Re: ASPD Relationships
Having been raised by a narcissistic mother and her also having some traits as a psychopath, I have learned that the problems weren't mine, they were hers.
I hope this doesn't sound too harsh, but I separated myself from my parents in order to be confident, sane, and gain back some perspective of real life. When you are immersed as a child where everything revolves around the Narcissistic Parent, you end up being neglected or manipulated or worse. Do you really want to do all this work and possibly come to the realization that your spouse isn't just doing this to you but also to your children? My mom did some things that I never would have dreamed she was capable of, and for the longest time I couldn't bring myself to accept that my own mother COULD possibly do these things... Yet she did and she still does.
I have blocked my phone, email and Facebook account from my parents because my father supports everything my mother does. Makes excuses for her, says she's just misunderstood, makes us feel bad when we stick up for ourselves or doesn't say anything at all and lets her treat us kids like crap. He is blind to her issues because he was abused by his own Narcissistic father when he was growing up. He thinks the relationship is normal. Lots of people find that they enter into relationships that are similar... I learned that to survive in my own family I had to be passive and do all the catering to my mother and my dad showed me that. He showed me that it's okay to take abuse and bend over backward for someone to the point where you neglect your own needs and become some sort of emotional zombie. He stayed with my mom so I stayed with an abusive man in a relationship. I wanted to "fix" him because I was always trying to fix my mom, and I was trying to stay with him, no matter what because that is what I thought love was. But I was confusing love with pity, and confusing over-control from him as love. Because that's what my upbringing taught me was normal. I also was so afraid of living alone. I was more scared to be alone than to be with a drug addicted alcoholic controlling death-threat kind of man. Was.
I wish you well.
There is always tomorrow...