More threads by steel_lady

I have been in relationship with adult survivor of sexual abuse. The relationship ended some time ago due to the fact that I didn't want to have children for a couple of years more since I was bounded with a contract while he was obsessed to have a baby before he 'gets old'. He felt old and was afraid of old people. Then, after a couple of weeks being involved with a girl from his company, he got her pregnant and has a baby now. He told me that he doesn't have intentions of marrying her ever, he gave his name to the baby and says he has taken care of his future. They gave the baby to kindergarten with 4 months, he is telling that the little one 'has to learn about life' and intends to be very strict with him. I am aware of his unusual stubborness, lack of empathy or need for friends and it makes me afraid for the baby. What is he capable of? I had even worse feeling when once we were talking about educating the child and he told me with a strange laughter that he is 'very openminded'. We could never talk about his abuse and problems because he would deny and dissociate. I could never talk about intimate things with his sister, but to me she is also showing strong signs of problems that abuse leaves. I believe she was also abused but nobody knows. I feel helpless. I would like so much to be able to do some difference in their lives. It was 'somebody like their grandfather' (while I am prone to believe that it WAS their grandfather). As far as I know, their family doesn't know and I am among very few people who know. I got on with my life but it is hard for me to live and to know that I didn't do any difference. And I don't want any new babies to suffer.

David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
If you have a concern about the safety of any child, you have an obligation to report your concerns to the child protection agency in your area (CAS). Don't get involved personally - leave it up to those who have the authority to investigate.
I live in Europe and there isn't any organization of that kind in this country as far as I know. What do you think, how high are risks for something to happen? I also don't want to be paranoid and make problems for him in life, I just wish him to be happy.

And by the way, I think that nothing could have happen yet. The baby is small. The father was 6 when he was abused. If someone whould investigate anything, they wouldn't have find it. And if somebody investigates him, he would know that it comes from me and would feel even more betrayed.
Last edited:
Replying is not possible. This forum is only available as an archive.