More threads by weonlycomeoutatnight

so my fianc? and I have been together for 3 years on and off now. Last year I moved in with him. Going into the relationship I knew he had some mental health problems. Bipolar and self harm to be specific. Everything was great for the first couple months until he got really reserved and secretive, I confronted him and he kicked me out. So I was done we were on a break again and I started talking to a guy for a few months. I did go back to the apartment with my fianc? on and off during those months and he kicked me out a few more times over small things like not washing a pan or the dog throwing up. So as it comes to find out the other guy messaged my fianc?, giving it that we were not with each other the times I talked to him. It was never in person only on Snapchat and text. So he blamed his behavior on me ?cheating?

i admit I should have worked things out instead of running to someone else but he was airing my business and health problems to his lady friends. Which I confronted him about and he didn?t care.

now fast forward to this fall we lost our apartment, things we?re going good for awhile until our neighbor made my fianc? believe I was causing problems in the house. So now I have my 28yr old fianc? and our 30 year old neighbor cornering me in the kitchen screaming at me. I?m 22, I got blamed for losing the apartment bcause I lost my job and was looking for work. They were both yelling at me After my fianc? was saying how he hates when our neighbor is always borrowing our stuff and taking our food for her kid. I brought that up and he straight out denied it. And then started hanging over my head that he?ll take off to Maine again and he can get rid of me if it came to it.

so now we?re living st my mothers and he is still blaming me for the commute and how much gas he is going through. I tell him his dad needs help at his shop but he?s holding on to his towing job when he use to make 1500 a week now it?s down to 150. Just because of the freedom. Life is tough and you need to be an adult,and you can?t always do a job you want. that?s what he said to me when I was looking for a job I actually liked. I?m now working in the same office park as him, I have to text him when I?m on my break if I don?t he gets mad, if I get to work late after him he accuses me of cheating. I get blamed when he is stressed, he takes it out on me, we have a trip planned together and yesterday I told him not to throw out a box my mom said to keep and he said well I?ll just go camping myself. I?m at the point where I?m scared to talk to him or ask him stuff. I honestly feel like it?s my fault, I hate myself, I?m a shell of who I am because I can?t even do things I love without him calling them boring or stupid just because it?s not fun to him. He?s trying to get me to cut my mom out of my life because she is to nosy.

i don?t know what to do I love him to death and on our good days he?s my rock and my best friend then the next minute he?s a completely different person. Snapping at me, yelling, threatening me.

i don?t know what to do
Down deep you know that things will NOT get better you know this and why are you allowing him to live at your parents place when he is very able to get out and get a place to live

You know that you are being abused that is a good thing that you are aware of this now you need to make a choice to live the way you are living or to move on cut the ties to him and his abuse and take care of YOURSELF.


You may not fully believe you are being abused.....but like forgetmenot said, you are. Call a womens shelter and talk to them about abuse and how you should deal eith this situation you are will find them most helpful. Abuse is a cycle of bad times mixed with some good times. Mental illness is not abusive. People are. There is no excuse for abusing another person.

David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
Agree with both of the above. You do not need people like this in your life. He is abusive and it will only get worse, not better.

Kick this guy to the curb and give yourself a chance to find someone who appreciates you and demonstrates that by how he treats you.
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