Can't seem to stop

[Cat Dancer]

In tears and wish I could just cry this out and cry and cry all the pain out. It doesn't work. Nothing works to get the pain out. Nothing works to punish me enough to make things ok. But this works and I hate that it does and I hate me for doing this. And I hate that I do it and I hate and hate and hate ME.

I can't go on, but I can't give up either.

Are there any hotlines numbers not for suicide, but for a crisis like this?

 

[sister-ray]

im sorry to hear you are feeling like this:hug: :hug: Im not to sure what country you are in, Im assumming USA I found this, dont know if its any good

Self-Injury Hotline
SAFE (Self Abuse Finally Ends) Alternatives Program

1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)

www.selfinjury.com
they also have a website

 

[Daniel E.]

Their website also lists referrals:

http://www.selfinjury.com/referrals.htm

For those fortunate enough to live in Pennsylvania, there is a state-wide hotline for SI and other issues. (The number is provided at the above link.)

 

[Cat Dancer]

Ok, I found a number for my state. Thank you.

What does one say though when you call a hotline? It's scary to think about it. I'm not good at talking.

 

[sister-ray]

I wouldnt worry about what to say, just say whatever you feel, Im sure the person on the other end will know what to say to you,:hug: :hug:

 

[Halo]

Janet,

As I said in my pm, just say hello and in my experience, being that they are trained, they will know what to say to you and how to get you talking.

:hug: :hug:

 

[Cat Dancer]

Well, I called and got a recording that said to call 911 if it was an emergency, that all the volunteers were busy, but to call back later. But I was thinking as bad as I feel maybe this is a step forward in that I really, really want to reach out to someone and get some help while these horrible feelings and memories and thoughts are happening. It didn't work today, but maybe I can be brave enough to try it again.

I don't know. Maybe it's a sign to give up. I'm not sure really. It's such a hard battle.

 

[Into The Light]

it's not a sign to give up. all it means is that they are helping lots of other people who are in the same boat as you. you aren't alone in what you are suffering. you can try calling again any time janet. well done for trying. i am proud of you for reaching out. i know you are going to get there. :hug:

 

[Halo]

Janet, I am really proud of you for making that call and I truly don't think that it is a sign to give up. I do think like Ladybug in that they are probably helping a lot of other people that are in the same situation as you.

Again Janet, you are very brave for making the call and I have confidence that you can do it again.

Take care
:hug:

 

[Cat Dancer]

Maybe that is part of what I need to learn, how to ask for help in real life. It's easier here, but in real life it seems impossible.

 

[Into The Light]

but you have been asking for it in real life janet. you started therapy, and that is asking for help

 

[Cat Dancer]

I guess that's true. For some reason I have not thought of it that way. I am weird.

 

[Halo]

Janet you are not weird and you have been asking for help both in here and in real life which is a huge step forward . Starting therapy, going to your doctor, starting meds etc. is all ways of asking for help and those are things that you should be proud of.

Asking for help doesn't necessarily need to be those exact words of "I need help", it can be conveyed in so many other ways.

Take care
:hug:

 

[foghlaim]

Starting therapy, going to your doctor, starting meds etc. is all ways of asking for help

and ways in which you have been helping yourself as well. And it shows!

Well done and as Nancy says,, you should be proud of yourself cause we sure are.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Thanks.

Today was just such a hard day, but I feel better now. I got through it, not so great, but I did. I survived. Still in one piece.

Anxiety stinks.

 

[foghlaim]

Anxiety stinks.

you can say that again!!


i'm glad you feel better.

 

[Banned]

Hi Janet,

I'm glad you are feeling better. I agree that anxiety stinks; it really does! Be proud of yourself that you recognized you needed to reach out for help and you did. That is an awesome and often difficult step to take. Way to go! :hug:

 

[sister-ray]

Aniexty does stink, I agree with that 100%

Im glad your feeling better, and im glad to hear that you did ring the hotline, it takes a lot to do that and Im proud of you, I have every confidence in you to ring again:hug: :hug:

 

[Cat Dancer]

Thanks.

Today I feel better, drained, but yesterday I thought everything I was thinking and doing was so rational. It felt so right, but looking back it was extreme anxiety and panic for some reason. And I was all alone so I think that triggered fear and panic. But I was thinking some pretty strange things. It makes me wonder if there isn't something really horrible wrong with me.

 

[Halo]

Janet, there is definitely nothing horribly wrong with you. You were having a bad day with high anxiety and lots of panic and when that happens thinking things that are strange or out of the ordinary can happen. It is not a sign of something horribly wrong with you, I think that it is a sign of getting better that you can recognize the anxiety and panic that you had yesterday and how your thoughts may have been strange but you didn't act on your thoughts and you did reach out for help by calling the hotline. That is growth, in my opinion

Take care
:hug: :hug: