busybee
Member
Not sure where to post this.. but.. here goes..
My 19 year old son is not handling the upcoming divorce. After 29 years of marriage I walked out of my home with a car and few possessions about 14 months ago. In that time, there has been a lot of changes.
My son decided to move out of home at 17, as ex and I were living in the same house, though separated. He could not cope with this.. and of course at times things would get vitrolic.
Since this time he has felt that he has lost a family and the concrete that held his world together. I tried to stay with his father, until his 18th Birthday, till my daughters 21st birthday, till xmas.. but this was not to be.. I felt broken and could not tolerate my life as it had been up until then.
Tonight, like a boil with poisonous puss.. he passed judgement. Of course there is always 2 sides to the conflict and it was a no win situation. He has learnt behaviours from both of us, however it was like hearing the abuse from my ex.... pouring from the mouth of my son. In previous posts..I have stated that my parenting left a lot to be desired.. but tonight.. my heart is wounded. But most of all.. I wish that things could have been the way my son wanted and needed it to be..
He has found me wanting.. a feeling of terrible shame surrounds me.
He has judged me.. "till death to us part" I did not keep my promise.
How do I help him heal. How do I undo the pain. How do I .............???
My 19 year old son is not handling the upcoming divorce. After 29 years of marriage I walked out of my home with a car and few possessions about 14 months ago. In that time, there has been a lot of changes.
My son decided to move out of home at 17, as ex and I were living in the same house, though separated. He could not cope with this.. and of course at times things would get vitrolic.
Since this time he has felt that he has lost a family and the concrete that held his world together. I tried to stay with his father, until his 18th Birthday, till my daughters 21st birthday, till xmas.. but this was not to be.. I felt broken and could not tolerate my life as it had been up until then.
Tonight, like a boil with poisonous puss.. he passed judgement. Of course there is always 2 sides to the conflict and it was a no win situation. He has learnt behaviours from both of us, however it was like hearing the abuse from my ex.... pouring from the mouth of my son. In previous posts..I have stated that my parenting left a lot to be desired.. but tonight.. my heart is wounded. But most of all.. I wish that things could have been the way my son wanted and needed it to be..
He has found me wanting.. a feeling of terrible shame surrounds me.
He has judged me.. "till death to us part" I did not keep my promise.
How do I help him heal. How do I undo the pain. How do I .............???
