Do You Disclose Your Illness?

[GDPR]

I don't tell anyone that I have PTSD and a dissociative disorder. Sometimes I wish that I could,but most people don't even understand what they are. And I know what kind of imagery they would conjure in their minds,someone 'going off',someone completely unstable,someone acting like Sybil,etc. So I don't dare let anyone know.

Sometimes I feel so alone in what I struggle with. I really don't have anyone I can talk to about it(in real life),other than my therapist.

It's not like I caused myself to have these disorders. They were caused by things that were done to me. I know this. But still,because of all the misinformation,the stigma,the judgement,etc., I keep my illness a secret.

What about the rest of you,do you disclose your illness?

 

[rdw]

I have disclosed my depression to a few trusted friends. I am very cautious about mentioning it to most people as I received very negative feedback from my family.

 

[Banned]

I am pretty open about it. Even at work where they are quite accepting and accommodating. I have "scared off" a few people, of course, but they are probably people that I didn't want in my life anyway. I just got tired of hiding behind it for so many years.

 

[GDPR]

Other people that I am around seem to have no problem talking about their depression and anxiety,and other things like that.I am able to talk about those parts of my illness,at least.

It just seems wrong that some illnesses are ok,and acceptable,while others don't seem to be.

 

[eva]

It is wrong that in social situations, some people try to cherry-pick what mental illnesses are okay. I don't know where people as a mass get the attitude from. When a soldier comes home from war, everyone wants to see his battle scars - the physical scars are glorified, but nobody wants to talk about his mental scars.

The other challenge is that depression and anxiety are more "general" and can be caused by a great deal of things, whereas the nature and causes of PTSD are usually more specific and "graphic". I would imagine that it is a condition that is inherently harder to share or talk about because of the difficulties of "opening up"?

I bring up my anxiety only in social situations where it's someone I know well and talk to often, but I don't like bringing it up in the workplace. I'm still worrying about whether or not my most recent employers would have given me some leeway if they knew, and whether or not they'd have laid me off if they had more understanding of my challenges. I've come to the conclusion that it wouldn't have made a difference, though.

In all honesty, sometimes it can be for the better not to open up because a well-meaning but uneducated person trying to help can make things hurt. Someone who is unqualified to help you trying to do so can be as much of a psychological struggle as dealing with straight-up stigma or discrimination. It's why I only bring my diagnosis up to people who I know have some understanding and sensitivity towards me, or mental health/disabilities in general.

 

[Jesse910]

No, not even to ER personnel because I've experienced first hand the look in their faces as they readjust themselves and back up. When I tried to tell my brother years ago, he threatened to blackmail me with the information. My mother pretended that nothing was wrong with me. The stigma is still too costly.

 

[gardener]

I have been horribly stigmatised in my small town...to the point of not being welcome in stores and not being able to get a dentist, doctor or a lawyer when I needed one. Social stigma to this length, and to this degree, has literally made my condition much worse than it was before anyone knew... and I deeply regret telling anyone.

At this stage it's not even a question of disclosure. Most people know anyway, and if they don't immediately, it's only a matter of time before they do find out.

 

[Jesse910]

Dear G:
You need a group of people you can contact so that this destructive behavior in your community can stop. If this is not possible in your current community, and you are able, you should seek governmental assistance. You are a human being who is entitled to be treated with respect and common courtesies. Unfortunately, because mental health issues are too voluminous to understand, we sometimes seek out people who we think will understand. And, unfortunately, they do not. Continue to seek support here. This is a very loving and caring community. And, we do not stigmatize anyone. And, if anyone tries, David Baxter will ensure that it stops.

 

[eva]

It also might help to look up what human rights laws are in your state or region, because in many places, being denied services or social aid based on disability IS illegal and a human rights violation. Know your rights.

 

[GDPR]

Most of the replies here just make me feel sad for everyone,especially you,gardener.

 

[kelsischanging]

Never at work, just because I do not talk about anything personal. I do tell some close friends that I have bipolar disorder. It's on a case by case bases...usually once I get to know them and see what they can handle/understand. It's so difficult.

 

[gardener]

It's okay Lost_in_thought, believe it or not, I have adjusted to it, tho not in a healthy way. Maybe I should have remained silent on this... but I do live in an area where the majority do see me the way you described: "someone 'going off',someone completely unstable,someone acting like Sybil,etc".... It just struck a chord in me when I read it, and thought I should speak up about my experience...because I really wish they didn't know...and I'm sure I can't be alone in this experience. I spoke up only because I wanted anyone who may be reading this and assessing whether or not to open up about this.... to know that such decisions MAY end disasterously... It is as Jessy said, one must weigh who deserves such intimate knowledge of you.

There has been a lot of positive media about stigma lately... and while I'm sure that is a good thing overall.... I can't help but notice that "pendulum action" happening in society...that radical swing from one side to the other, until the momentum settles somewhere in the middle. I've also had experiences where people in my community have wanted to change, but because they just don't understand, they go from rejecting me, to trying to include me, but at the cost of them believing that they should just "treat me normally"...which is true, except for their expectation that I now ACT normally in return. This always sets me off, and leads to disaster (in my experience so far anyway) because I am NOT normal, and I really do struggle in social settings. If I could act normal enough to blend in, I wouldn't even have considered telling people about my mental illness in the first place. The only reason I told them was to get their HELP and UNDERSTANDING. It totally back-fired...horribly so.

I just wanted others to consider WHO they are telling... and maybe that things won't improve, maybe it's just easier to go on having them think you're a little weird, instead of having them know your a "nutcase". (Not my word, just the public opinion about me.)

 

[GDPR]

Thanks for being so honest.

I definitely won't be telling anyone about my diagnosis. I think some things are better left unsaid.