Im under alot of stress right now. Im working a full time job taking care of my great grandmother who has alzhiemers so I don't get alot of my homework done during the day so I end up staying up all night long finishing it. Stressing over a gazillion quizes in that are 125 questions and if Im not writing one paper I'm writing another. My parents and I got into it again fighting I should say. No one in my family likes my husband. Im freaking mortified by my moms comments and bull chet crud she pulls on me. I don't supprt or back her up in anything. She told me that she disownes me and all this junk. Im just very up set at the fact that she said all of this to me. Im not going to forget all the nasty hatfull stuff she said to me. I don't feel like I have parents who I can talk to but hey thats what my husband is for right! Oh and now because im unable to care for my grandmother my mom has to put her in a nursing home. And I have alot of guilt for that. The heart attack thing is when I get anxiety. Im back to self injurie and the more I loose weight the more I keep looking at my self in the mirror and weighing my self. I can't focus on my work Im lucky if I get it done. I don't know?
When you first mentioned the feeling of having a heart attack that is why I asked about how stressed you were with school and things because I know when I get stressed and my anxiety level spikes I can tell immediately by my heart rate increasing and the feeling that I am going to have a heart attack. That is why I asked about the stresses that you have in your life and you sure do sound like you have a lot on your plate right now.
It must be very difficult being the caregiver to your great grandmother, trying to work full time, go to school, be a wife etc. but remember one thing TLC, the most important person is you. If you do not take care of yourself then you will be no good to anyone or for anything including your work, school, great grandmother or your husband. You have to make yourself your number 1 priority so that you can handle all these things in your life and it may very well be that you have overloaded yourself with too much and need to take some of these responsibilities off your plate for the time being so that you can take care of yourself. It might be hard but you are worth it.
I'm going back to one of my old jobs as a CNA, part time though 20 hrs a week. My great grandma is going to a nursing home. I feel so horrible, that we have to put her in there but we are running out of energy. GG is progresively getting worse with her alzheimers, she gets out of bed at night and gets lost, she is now starting to become incontent, and her memory is deteriating. how ever that word is spelled? Im now sick with some kind of flu cold and my surgery leg has all of a sudden started hurting. I know that on Tuesday I almost fell down my parents deck. just call me cluttsy...
Well TLC it sounds like going back to your old job might reduce some of your stress as it will decrease your hours and that will give you some more time to yourself. As for your GG, although it may be hard and you feel horrible, it may be the best thing for her safety as you can only do so much for her. Remember that you have provided the necessary care for her as long as you were able to and you can cherish those moments that you had. She will be well looked after by people that are capable of taking care of her every need at all different times. Just because she is not going to be living with you doesn't mean that she is out of your life. She will always be a big part of your life whether she lives with your or not.
I would think that you getting sick is probably the result of your body being run down with school, work your GG etc. This is just your bodies way of letting you know that you need to slow down and take care of you.
I think the only thing that worries me about her going to a nursing home is that I know what goes on in a nursing home and it sucks to think that she might be one of those elderly that might be negleted or abused. I know that she will be fine and under good care its really hard for me. I've been around this stuff alot to know. And I hate the people who are only there for the money and not because they care. Maybe me working in the nursing home here will help me cope with her being in a nursing home? That way I can just help other families be more comfortable with the nursing home deal..
Just remember TLC that there are many many people that are just like you that work in nursing homes because they care about elderly people and want the best for them. You are a good example of this. That is what you have to remember. This is what you have to try and think of. I know it is probably hard and there are going to be struggles with this but if anybody would know warning signs of abuse or neglect you would and that is another good thing. Nobody will be able to pull the wool over your eyes on his one.
When a loved one is in a nursing home, it's very important to visit them often, and at different times of the day and night. That way, you can be assured that there's always an even level of care being given. If they don't know when you're liable to show up, they can't "prepare" for you.
tlc, please take care of yourself as well. Your grandmom would want you to.
Also, its not your fault that she has to go there. Having parents put that blame on you just isn't right. Whos parent is she in the first place? It would be their responsiblity over yours to take care of her so she doesn't end up in there. However by the sounds of it, it is time she go to a facilty that has round the clock care.
Now take care of yourself, and pace yourself with your work and learning. And if you have anything that hurts that isn't supposed to, IE: heart, leg etc.. get medical attention, I am sure you know that you need to do this.
Especially take care of the heart situation. One never knows if the stress is just causing it or making an existing condition worse that we dont' know about.