Everything hurts

[Lonewolf]

I'm so sorry!! Am an emotional wreck, just so tearful all of the time!! The pain inside is terribly overwhelming!! I don't know what to do? Feels like the world is against me and I have no one to fight on my side!! It hurts!! Very lonely!! painful!! Doesn't feel like its worth it! Just wish I could give in, give up! Sleep forever!! I must have done something really dreadful in a previous life and this one is my punishment for that!!

I am desperate for a hug and to know that this is all worth it, but that's not going to happen anymore!! Sounds daft!! I don't want to be here anymore!! That would be one less to feed! Ha! Ha! Ha!

You probably think this is an over reaction? You are probably right? But I have seriously hit a brick wall and can't see any way forward! To be honest im not worth the struggle and it is only me at the end of the day!!!

Apologise, As miserable, as always!!!



---------- Post Merged at 06:01 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 05:42 PM ----------

I totally understand if you are all bored to tears hearing me bleat on about how rubbish I feel all the time!!

 

[Retired]

Are you receiving any form of medical treatment for your depression?

 

[forgetmenot]

NOt bored hun concerned ok i know what it like to be where you are at boy do i so i am concerned and hope Lonewolf you have professional help hun.
If not please do what i do when i feel like i have no hope left i call crisis line i call my therapist leave a msg i reach out to people here like you are doing
You are not alone ok we are here with you but you need someone in real life to help you too. Depression omg it is hell i get that it is and it makes one one to j ust give up but please don't ok not until you try other means to help you hugs to you ok i know they are not ones you want but they are sent with compassion and care for you . hugs

 

[Lonewolf]

ive been on the same medication for several years now!

 

[forgetmenot]

Maybe then your medication needs to be changed a bit because it is not working now sometimes that happens maybe talk to your doc ok I am sorry you are so low just know we care ok hugs

 

[Lonewolf]

The only crisis line I have access to are the 'sams' and I find it easier to email them, but they take a couple of days to respond to that!!

---------- Post Merged at 06:31 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 06:28 PM ----------

Have been told lots of times that the medication doesn't solve everything!!! So im a little worried about asking the Dr! Don't think I can cope with being confronted with that!!

 

[forgetmenot]

Good Samaritans have help me too i email them but they usually get back to me within a days time No meds are not everything therapy is needed too but if meds are not working well and you have been on them years your doc should know the effect of them will wear off some just tell doc your meds are not working as well as they once did
you advocate for YOU ok does not matter what your doc says you fight for YOU don't let him make you feel small hugs

 

[Lonewolf]

sorry! I don't have any other words in my mind! just so, so sorry! :distress:

 

[forgetmenot]

It is ok let your mind rest for a bit ok were here when you want to let go of some of the thoughts later hugs

 

[HBas]

No one is tired of hearing how you feel. It would be awesome to hear that you are taking care of yourself by getting some much deserved help. It would be nice to hear indeed, remember you are worth it.

Hugs

 

[Retired]

Have been told lots of times that the medication doesn't solve everything!!! So im a little worried about asking the Dr! Don't think I can cope with being confronted with that!!​

.....and that is correct. Medication restores brain chemical balance that can relieve symptoms to enable supportive psychotherapy to teach us how to modify behavioural and thinking patterns that can contribute to recovery.

Medication is not a magic wand that can cure your illness, and if that truth has not worked for you as you evidently have experienced, then it woud be in your best interest to try something else.

That something else would have to include some hard work on your part to seek supportive psychotherapy and and then actively participate in the recommendations of your therapist..... combined with a medication regimen.

Additionally, you would want to ask your doctor to re-evaluate your medications to determine if any modifications may or may not be warranted.

Antidepressant medication sometimes has to be occasionally modified in many people, as there is no "one size fits all" prescription. Each of us responds differently to the variety of antidepressant medications, so it can require some trial and error over a prolonged period, months and even years to find the right combination.

During that time, supportive psychotherapy can make significant strides in making changes in thinking patterns.

You have made progress since you first joined our community, Lonewolf, so why not make the effort to restart a conversation with your doctor to find ways to help you return to good mental health.

If what you have been doing has not worked so far, it might be time to try something else.

What do you think?

 

[Lonewolf]

Maybe??? I don't have the strength to face anyone!! I need to! I can't hold it together enough!! im so annoyingly emotional! If I go out its going to make me even more vulnerable!!! I know I need to give myself a kick up the bum and get on with it! just can't!!! I'm really sorry, I wish I could vanish !!! Stop annoying everyone!! Stop needing!! Sorry!! Am very sorry!

 

[Retired]

I don't know what kind of support services might be available to you in the U.K., but if you called a local crisis assistance group, like Good Samaritans, for example, I wonder if they might be able to provide a companion to help you travel and see your doctor, give you support to open a discussion with your doctor, to get the help you need.

I cannot imagine the way you might feel at this moment, and although you might feel overwhelmed at the possibility of seeking help, if you think of the process of taking one step at a time, that is to focus on accomplishing each step of the process, then moving on to the next, rather than visualizing the entire journey, you might find it more manageable.

I believe, from having several discussions with you, that deep inside you would like to regain control of your life. I've seen the incremental steps of progress you have made, and am encouraged by that, for you.

It might not be easy, but nothing worth accomplishing is ever easy.

Perhaps you could start by making a phone call to your doctor to make an appointment. Once that's done, we can figure out what to plan next.

 

[Lonewolf]

need it all to stop!!

 

[Retired]

The pain and the symptoms can only stop if you take the necessary steps to get the ongoing treatment you need for your diagnosis.

This can only happen when you act to get the help you need.

 

[MHealthJo]

Hugs to you LoneWolf. Keep going, keep seeing the groups and resources and professionals available to you at this time, keep learning, keep reading. Thinking of you.

 

[Lonewolf]

Easier said than done, i'm afraid!! I have tried to get some help but its just out of reach for some of us!!! I can tell you that I have an assessment by a mental health practitioner on Tuesday, but im getting myself so worked up about it, I am so scared!! Intimidated!! I am so nervous around professionals. It would be so nice if I had someone to go with me, hold my hand (so to speak!!) Yet again I fight alone!!
I know some of you think that I have to face this if I want the help and you are right, but it doesn't take away my fears, my panicking and feeling that im wasting anyone's time! I am always frightened im being a nuscence!!! I apologise to anyone who thinks im being negative about this, im just worried!!

sorry!

 

[Cat Dancer]

We will be with you in spirit. Thinking of you.

 

[forgetmenot]

I know it is hard not to worry LoneWolf but the professionals will not think you are wasting their time They are there to assess you and get the help you need to feel better
Just know as said we are there with you ok in spirit like said Let us know how it goes hugs

 

[Retired]

I am so scared!! Intimidated!! I am so nervous around professionals

Let's talk about that, Lonewolf.

What do you see as the worst thing that could happen in this upcoming encounter....that would cause you the greatest amount of stress.

Please take a few moments to articulate what you see as potentially could go wrong for you in that appointment, and let's see if we might be able to offer some insights and strategies you might use to deal with your concerns.