I am afraid about something and want to vent a little. I understand that this is a tricky area where perhaps no one can really give me advice. I understand I should figure it out on my own. I'm just so nervous about making the wrong choice.
I have a brand new therapist who I so far think is intelligent and kind. My fear is understanding what is or isn't a red flag and reason to get out.
We went over introductory family history and my general bad memory plus conspicuous missing months surrounding one incident seem to make him think there is a good chance I am repressing abuse. Part of my problem is I can't even remember and evaluate therapy sessions so I may be misinterpreting a bit. I voiced my concerns about false memory to him and will continue to be open about my concerns. But I am so scared I should recognize a red flag in a therapist sooner than later.
So he is not trying to do hypnosis or anything on me. He believes in being careful but open minded in acknowledging something might be there. I think he mainly brought it up to caution me that if things start coming back to me it may be very hard.
The part that worries me is that I think he said something along the lines of "usually when there are memory gaps like this it is an indication of trauma" & "there are some cases of false memories but more cases of people being abused and never remembering" Also he seemed concerned about my general foggy memory of childhood which I don't find suspicious.
I think he indicated he would not at all be digging for memories. I still feel unsure if I should stay or go.
Oddly I did remember a long forgotten non childhood memory in between the first and second sessions (we didn't discuss any of this in the first session) but it was not a repressed memory. It was abuse that happened in college that I remember periodically and then forget 99% of the time. I didn't used to realize it was something that counts as abuse and not just my fault. But when I saw a news item about something somewhat similar I felt horrified and sad for the victim. At the time the thing was in the news I had no memory of what happened to me. I recalled again recently but for me I still think it was no big deal and I feel embarrassed. I remember specific things about it but will probably never remember much since I was drunk to the point of almost being incapacitated. I do remember the situation I woke up to.
I like this therapist. He has a phd and works in a group with supervision. But I don't want to make a terrible irresponsible mistake I will regret by staying with the wrong person.
I have a brand new therapist who I so far think is intelligent and kind. My fear is understanding what is or isn't a red flag and reason to get out.
We went over introductory family history and my general bad memory plus conspicuous missing months surrounding one incident seem to make him think there is a good chance I am repressing abuse. Part of my problem is I can't even remember and evaluate therapy sessions so I may be misinterpreting a bit. I voiced my concerns about false memory to him and will continue to be open about my concerns. But I am so scared I should recognize a red flag in a therapist sooner than later.
So he is not trying to do hypnosis or anything on me. He believes in being careful but open minded in acknowledging something might be there. I think he mainly brought it up to caution me that if things start coming back to me it may be very hard.
The part that worries me is that I think he said something along the lines of "usually when there are memory gaps like this it is an indication of trauma" & "there are some cases of false memories but more cases of people being abused and never remembering" Also he seemed concerned about my general foggy memory of childhood which I don't find suspicious.
I think he indicated he would not at all be digging for memories. I still feel unsure if I should stay or go.
Oddly I did remember a long forgotten non childhood memory in between the first and second sessions (we didn't discuss any of this in the first session) but it was not a repressed memory. It was abuse that happened in college that I remember periodically and then forget 99% of the time. I didn't used to realize it was something that counts as abuse and not just my fault. But when I saw a news item about something somewhat similar I felt horrified and sad for the victim. At the time the thing was in the news I had no memory of what happened to me. I recalled again recently but for me I still think it was no big deal and I feel embarrassed. I remember specific things about it but will probably never remember much since I was drunk to the point of almost being incapacitated. I do remember the situation I woke up to.
I like this therapist. He has a phd and works in a group with supervision. But I don't want to make a terrible irresponsible mistake I will regret by staying with the wrong person.
