• Quote of the Day
    "For most people, transformation is slow. It happens without you realizing it."
    Marsha Linehan, posted by Daniel
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I don't know what's wrong with me...I feel so hopeless right now...it's horrible but a kid in my dorm just died this afternoon of a herione overdose and the only thing I can think of it that I'm jealous...I just want to end it all...I have enough prescriptions in my possesion to kill at least two people and I want to be one of them right now...I was considering putting all my prescritions in a bag and giving them to my RA but I mean what do I say here I really want to die right now so take this...I mean what do I do...i'm just really scared right now and don't know what to do...I promise myself that I won't do anything till I get some advice from someone...
 

texasgirl

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Re: hopeless

KelseyM:

I am so very sorry that you are hurting so much. I think your idea to give whatever medications you have to your RA or anyone else is a really good one. I also think if you have someone to talk to that you should reach out now while you are feeling so bad, even if it is the farthest thing from what you want to do. I am glad that you are asking for help - and folks here really do care about each other as I am sure you have seen. You can feel free to say whatever and be supported. Take care,

TG:hug:
 

foghlaim

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Re: hopeless

Hi kels.. yes do give your meds to your RA and it's okay to say you have been really badly affected by the death of the other student. Tell him\her that you are afraid of what you might do, and ask this person to help you or help you find someone who can help you right now.

Do you have any emergency numbers handy for crisis lines? maybe the school supplied some numbers following this tragedy??
or find a telephone book, crisis numbers are usually in the front of them.

I'm glad you came on here Kels.. but i'm sorry you are going thru this.
please do go find this RA and if not, stop any other person and ask them to direct you to some help.

(((hugs))
 
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Re: hopeless

I agree about giving your meds to the RA. I think calling a crisis line is a good idea too.

I'm sorry too that you are hurting so much. We are thinking of you and with you and it may feel very hopeless, but there IS hope.
 

Daniel

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Re: hopeless

I have enough prescriptions in my possesion to kill at least two people and I want to be one of them right now...

That's doubtful, though I don't want you to prove me wrong. Most people overestimate the lethality of prescription medications, including narcotics, and often survive with permanent disability or die a slow, painful death from organ failure.

If you are in the US, the best suicide hotline to call is probably 1-800-273-TALK. Any human contact, however, can be very helpful.
 
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Re: hopeless

I don't know what's wrong with me...I feel so hopeless right now...it's horrible but a kid in my dorm just died this afternoon of a herione overdose and the only thing I can think of it that I'm jealous...I just want to end it all...I have enough prescriptions in my possesion to kill at least two people and I want to be one of them right now...I was considering putting all my prescritions in a bag and giving them to my RA but I mean what do I say here I really want to die right now so take this...I mean what do I do...i'm just really scared right now and don't know what to do...I promise myself that I won't do anything till I get some advice from someone...

I'm scared to have a room mate and I also wanted to die too. In my high school pretty much everyone is a jerk. I lost my Dad at 14 and it was a really depressing moment in my life. I built up an obsession with foxes and a really cute fox named Miles "Tails" Prower. I found Tails to be a great escape from the world and I've always found my self in a safe place. I know Tails is just a video game character but to me he's a great friend that I feel safe with and he understands the problems I face in everyday life. I'm 18 now and I still love Tails. People say it's an unsafe obsession but I've always felt a friend in him. Sorry about your room mate. Good Luck. :hug:
 

Daniel

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Re: hopeless

I don't know what's wrong with me...I feel so hopeless right now...

At least for me, feelings of hopelessness and suicide are always worse at night, which is why I was never tempted to attempt suicide in the morning. Anyway, surviving the college years was the hardest part for me regarding feelings of suicide and hopelessness. During my last year of college, I had to withdraw from all of my college classes every other semester. (My scholarship did not allow for part-time enrollment, which was a bummer.)
 

foghlaim

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Hi Kels, just wondering how you got on thru the night.

thinking of you.

((hugs))
 

Heather

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Sorry you were feeling that way.

How are you now?

I am thinking of you and pleased that you were getting advice before doing anything.

Heather...
 
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Hey, I made it through the night ok...I ended up giving all my prescriptions and meds to my RA and she was really good about it...she didn't freak out or anything so that was good...I did keep out one sleeping pill though so I took that and went to bed early...I feel a little better this morning...I'm getting ready to go to church so that always lifts me up a little...thanks for everyone's support....sometimes I don't think I would make it through with out you guys and gals...thanks again for caring
kelseym
 

braveheart

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Good for you for handing over the meds, and I'm pleased your RA was supportive.

I'm also glad you made it through ok.

Be gentle with yourself...
 

Halo

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Kels,

I am also glad that you are feeling better and you should be proud of yourself for taking the necessary steps to keep yourself safe yesterday :goodjob:

Take care
 

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