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    "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered."
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Thelostchild

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For the last month everything seems like its just going down hill for me I don't eat alot, my anxiety has worsend, and I'm having a difficult time sleeping again. Other then Saturday I slept all day. Oh not to mention I have had more thoughts of self mutilation. Everything should be going better I have a new job and I only work 20 hours, I go to school, and come home. I keep all my blinds shut and when I have the opportunity to stay home and be a hurmit I do that..My husband and I hardly talk, I don't know what his problem is other then I wont give him any :nah: if ya know what I mean? blah blah ok so now I'm having a pitty party as my psych teacher would put it b---
 

Halo

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Re: very low

TLC

I don't think that you are having a pity party at all. I think that you are expressing to us what has/is going on with you and how you having been struggling for the last month or so. Although your surroundings and the external things in your life "may" be better that does not change the fact that you are not feeling better inside. That is not a pity party that is you being courageous to tell us that you are struggling.

Are you still going to your therapy appointments? Have you talked to your therapist about how you are feeling lately?
 

Thelostchild

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Re: very low

Yes I have been going to my therapist. I go every week. I have talk to him about all of this he has giving me some advice but Im still struggling with this self injury and eating thing.. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do any more. I have just started shutting down and kepted all my feelings to myself. I don't really have a mom or a dad that I can talk to and my husband doesn't really understand I guess you would say?
 

Retired

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Re: very low

TLC,

Sorry to hear how badly you are feeling. What's most important is to continue talking about how you feel, because there is no benefit to keeping your feelings bottled up inside.

We are here to listen if you have no one else.

my husband doesn't really understand

You know, TLC sometimes a spouse has a hard time to accept his loved one is having to deal with mental illness. Sometimes people have difficulty appreciating that mental illness is just like physical illness..diabetes or Cancer.

He may feel "this cannot be happening to my wife" and may be shutting his mind to accepting your illness.

Have you considered inviting your husband to accompany you when you see your therapist? Give your therapist a heads up beforehand, so s/he can be prepared to answer your husband's questions about your illness.

Are there any other family members or perhaps a friend you would feel comfortable speaking with?
 

Halo

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Re: very low

I can understand the not being able to talk to your mom or dad but are you also shutting down and keeping your feelings to yourself with your therapist as well? I know you said that you have talked to him but I wonder if you have been shutting down with him too?

You said that he has given you some advice and I was just wondering if you have tried them to help you deal with the feelings and thoughts about the self-injury and eating? I know when I am really struggling, writing helps a lot. I write about anything and everything and I find it really helpful.
 

Thelostchild

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usually I do write down my feelings. And lately or for the last two months or so I haven't been writing. School keeps your mind busy, it keeps your mind occupied some what, ok it doesn't keep my mind busy. But its a good cover up. He hasn't given me advice on my eating or self injury or then keep me posted on these two issues and told me the possible reasons that Im engaging in these behaviors.
 

Thelostchild

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My god my chest hurts I feel like someone is sitting on me. my BP today was 140/80 and my Pulse was 98, Temp was 98.6 . I have called my Pdoc but I haven't herd from him yet. I'm darn near to having a mental break down. I feel nausea, puking, and I want to cry. why why? I'm so sick of this.
 

David Baxter

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TLC said:
my BP today was 140/80 and my Pulse was 98, Temp was 98.6 . I have called my Pdoc but I haven't herd from him yet. I'm darn near to having a mental break down. I feel nausea, puking, and I want to cry.
The /80 part of your BP (diastolic BP) is within the normal range and that's the most important part (more information here). Your body temperature is also normal. So what you have is elevated pulse rate and an elevated systolic BP reading, along with nausea - almost certainly anxiety, I suspect.

Now the question is what's causing all that anxiety? Consulting your psychotherapist is the best way to find that out - keep trying - don't forget today is a holiday and this has been a long weekend in the US and Canada.
 

Thelostchild

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I knew that my blood pressure and so on was normal. but my bp for me is 120/60.
 

Halo

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First of all TLC I think that is good that you called your pdoc and you are waiting to hear back from him. As David said, it is a holiday in the US and Canada so more than likely you won't hear back until tomorrow but at least you have made that call and that is a huge step. It does sound like a lot of anxiety that is happening with you and it will be good when you get to talk to him and discuss what is going on with you and more specifically what is causing your anxiety.

Try to be as open with him as you have with us and not shut down and keep it to yourself as you have been doing lately. He definitely needs to know what is going on with you if he is going to try and help.

Take care and let us know when you hear from him.
:hug:
 

momof5

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I knew that my blood pressure and so on was normal. but my bp for me is 120/60.
TLC, its not uncommon to experience differnces in BP. Mine is normally lower then yours is, and my HR is generally higher then yours.

I find that when either or both are up more then normal I tend to worry about it, causing it to differ even more drastically.

Keep us updated when you contact your doctor, and practice some breathing techniques to help calm yourself a bit.

Hope you feel better as the anxiety isn't fun to deal with.
 

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