• Quote of the Day
    "You are much deeper, much broader, much brighter than any idea you could have of yourself."
    Harry Palmer, posted by Daniel

iam*who*iam

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i hadn't had one of these for a while..maybe a month..

but earlier today it happened without warning.

it was related to a flashback of sorts..no image, just the feeling of being really scared, not able to escape.

it sounds like a panic attack i know, but it's not exactly.

i wanted to run...or scream..but it was inside of my head..

it was like a slight dissociative episode..

my head was racing..like there was this white fuzzy noise in my head..

i couldn't sit down..i felt like my entire body was going to turn inside out.

i have often had times like this, where i cannot explain what the problem is, or what the feeling is, etc.

it's almost like when a child wants something, but doesn't yet know how to talk, or know the name of the thing they are wanting.

it gets frustrating and it leaves me feeling afraid and helpless, among other things.

i also get this fear overcome me, if i am near anyone, or talking to someone, even online.

it feels unsafe, and it's very hard to have anything to do with anyone until the episode is over.

no one can be near me, and especially cannot touch me.
 

ladylore

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Re: flashback/dissociative episode *may trigger*

So, how are you doing now Iam?
 

iam*who*iam

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i am ok right now. still feel a little shaky inside for some reason..but other than that, i think i'm ok.

thanks.
 

braveheart

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I just wanted to say that I suffer from similar on a fairly regular basis, so I can very much empathise. Was there anything in particular that triggered the episode? I find mine come on in crowds or when I feel trapped, and also as a result of feeling critcised or invalidated in any way.
I'm glad you're doing a bit better now. These episodes do pass, even though it feels like forever while they are happening, and are awful while they last.
 

ladylore

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I have also experienced flashback-both body and memory ones, anxiety... As I was reading Braveheart's post I remembered that one thing does work for me and its a bit ironic that it does. I have one particular friend who I can call up and if she can come over she does. She is someone I can just simply be with. I don't have to entertain her and we can just be in silence if needed. But the very fact that another person is there, simply being, helps.

I was wondering if you have someone like that around? Or even if that would be of assistance to you?

Take care

Ladylore
 

iam*who*iam

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when i have certain episodes like that, i cannot be physically near anyone.

i don't know why, but it feels really scary and unsafe.
 

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