More threads by Ashley-Kate

Well here i am the girl that would always say i am never going back into the hospital ever again or as an in-patient. i think i am there... i really am trying to make it on my own but it is too hard i went to far and i am having a hard time getting back on track and i can't on my own. i feel that i need the extra support. tomorrow i have an appointment with my psychologist and i am going to mention to him the possibility of hospitalization for hopefully a short period of time, just to get a bit of help to get back on my feet. I am really not doing great these past few weeks and i really can't go on like this forever!

i am nervous. i don't know if i am going to be able to tell him but i am setting that as an objective for my appointment with him - to tel him i need help.
 
Re: for the better

Hi Ashley,
While reading your post above I could not help but think that it is so good that you are able to recognise where you are at and that you know you need help to get back on track, :2thumbs:.
It takes a strong person to ask for help when needed, I do think you can do it, that you will be able to say it to your psychologist because you know deep inside it is what you really need right now.
Being nervous is okay, just try not let that stop you from doing what you need to do for you!. I do hope it works out for you and you get stabilized really quickly.

(If you think that you might waiver at the last min and not tell him.. maybe have a back up note in your pocket just in case? )

Good luck tomorrow Ashley
 
thank you all for your support.
I was able to tell my psychologist that i am more open to the possibility of being hospitalised and he was very happy about that mostly because he knows it will come and that he doesn't want to have to force me to do anything even though he would not have much of a choice. They are presently watching my physical state to judge weather or not i go. for this week i am okay, next week i get checked again. I also explained to him that i am losing it that i feel like i have lost complete control of this and i can't take much more of this. I felt that he was much more receptive of what i had to sat this week i guess probably because i was a lot less resistant. I feel that what i really need at this point is a break a small break even just for a few days a week-end to just have time to breath and get my priorities straight. to see what i really want of my life. I feel that i need to be somewere that i can just let go and take a break, put my worries and stress on someone else for a little while get it out. if only that existed.
 
:hug: I am really glad you did what you set out to do and tell your psychologist all you felt you needed to tell him. I believe that by expressing your concerns about losing control you are in fact moving toward regaining it. So well done in telling him, despite being nervous you did it!. :)


Are you happy with todays apt or would you have preferred if hospital came sooner than somewhere down the line?, Does the fact that he now knows all you needed him to hear lessen the stress you feel under at all? Maybe it is too soon to even answer that.

Keep asking for that break Ashley and it will come your way.
in the meantime know that you are thought of here.

Take care.
 
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Jazzey

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I'm happy that you're taking care of yourself Ashley. And I hope that you're able to obtain that break that you need.

Thinking of you - let us know how you make out. :hug::support:
 
part of me really wanted him to just take charge to stop me, cause i can't do it anymore yet it goes back to a waiting game and i just feel so tired and week i don't want to wait anymore and i feel that the more i wait the longuer getting better will be cause the more efforts i have to put in it and also i will be comming from a worst state than i am in now.
thanks for you support
 
Is there anything that happens in the hospital for you or to you, maybe even one thing that could make the diff in how you are feeling right now, that you can manage to do at home, while you await possible admission, for instance, would you get more energy type fluids into you in the hospital than at home? if so, is this something you could work on even if just one extra small glass\cup?? or maybe someone that you could be talking to on a more frequent level than once a week? something that doesn't require too much energy spent,? maybe the others here could come up with other ideas, or you yourself might have some.

I know and understand you are really tired and you are allowed to rest (even at home) for a small time :). As hospital at this time is not going to happen then maybe between us (other members also) we can come up with some ideas to help you during this time and prevent any worsening of your condition as you see it at this time.

Keep talking to us here and we will be here for you.
 
the thing is at home i have the stress of my new appartment, my new job i am still working full time and i can't really take a sick day at the moment because i have bills to pay, and that is also a stress at the moment resting is ust very hard. i guess i am going to end up waiting a little while for and if worst comes to worst i do know that i could just go to the hospital and tell them i am not doing good and that i can't take it anymore.
 
can you explain why you are stressing in new apartment, maybe talking about that might lessen the stress you feel and also maybe some ideas could then be thrown out as to how to lessen that stress even more?? DO you think this could be of any help to you?
 
Hello thought i would tel you all that on wednesday night my roomate and i and his girllfriend decided i had enough. they came with me and waited with me at the emergency room close to my place. when i finally was seen a really nice dr. took tests and informed me that i would stay the night and he wanted to take more test in the morning so i stayed. The next morning i cound out i have a condition that makes eatign extremly difficult because when i do eat i feel nautious and sick. And next week i am meeting with a surgeon because i am going to have to get operated on soon I am eating again at the moment and feeling a lot better i was released this afternoon. I made a decision thati would look for another job and also my roomates all are aware of the anorexia and are going to help me with meal plans. and eating with me. so thats about it i am feeling better. and i think the fact tat i finally know that it is not all psychological the way i felt towards food helped a lot and knowing that it will get better when i get the operation helps a lot too!
chow
 

Jazzey

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Ash, I'm sorry that you went through all of that. But I'm also very happy to hear that you are now getting medical intervention that you obviously needed. I'll be thinking of you and sending you nothing but positive vibes :hug::hug:
 
Hi Ashley,
delighted to hear your update, :)
I think it is so brilliant! that your room mates are supporting you like this, :2thumbs: and I am also glad to hear you have finally found out that not all your e-d is psychological, what a huge difference that made to you on hearing that. ((hug))

Keep us updated if you can on how your apt goes with the surgeon and anything else that is happening for you.

Well done on all you have accomplished this week, I would imagine it was not easy to do. :2thumbs:
You take care and again well done.
 
oddly enough it is the only thiing that could get me to slow down a bit finding out that i can't do the exercise not because of my anorexia but because physically i can't helped me a lot in relaxing a bit more in the past few days i have done nothing but relax sleep rest and be taken care of! feels pretty good!
 
yeah well i was hospitalised for a couple of days 3, and i think that was just what i needed a little wake up calland also some alone time away from the world of work and responsibilities
 
no probleme! As odd as this may sound i feel better now than i have in a very long time ok maybe not physically better i still have a ways to go but psychologically a lot better. This morning i was making my neice breakfast and not once did it come to my mind that i could skip that meal, i was all alone with a 1 year old and it would have been easy but i didn't. I have an appointment later on with my psychologist he hasnt seen me since i checked into the hospital i spoke to him over the phone though to tell him all is well, I am proud of myself the week after surgery i am going to spend it at my mothers place seeings how i have a minor heart condition brought on by my eating disorder they have to take a more complexe way for the surgery and it makes the recooperating time longer so i am going to be with my mom after. I think my mom is happy that i am going to allow her to help me.
 
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