More threads by newla


I joined a while ago and think i posted an introduction then. Here i am again. I continue to try to reach out on the internet and in real life but somehow just get knocked back. I am trying to learn from my mistakes but it is so hard. When i joined this forum i think I was in a stage where I was determined to change things in my life and I joined other places that I thought would help. However i only got so far and then slid back into old habits and patterns of responding. I never seem to learn enough to overcome the anxiety and lack of self worth i feel around myself/others. In real life too I cannot seem to communicate in the way that others can and feel alone and paranoid in my work situation and with my wider family. It is only at home that I feel comfortable all the time which is a blessing to count I suppose at this time of year! However i feel so lonely though always surrounded by people. I also get some mild paranoia and think that others do not like me or want me around. I have tried CBT individually online to try to help with all this but I think i am lazy and want a quick fix and am not prepared to do the work thoroughly enough(plus i am busy working full time). I am waiting to see if my doctor has referred me to a therapist for CBT as i really believe that to challenge my thought patterns properly will help.

I've still been receiving the emails and that is what made me come back in here today. I need to be able to stop myself from falling back down into a depressed state. Now it is the Christmas holidays and I am off work I will feel the lonelyness more and this is when I tend to let it all overwhelm me. I do not live alone which is good and have a lovely partner and son with me. I need to keep positive for them and for myself so am looking for ways to allay the bad feelings.

welcome back newla :wave4: don't give up, you can change things for the better with the help of a therapist as well as with the support of this forum. i've done cbt with a therapist and it definitely helps. also change seems to be two steps forward and one step back, so don't be too discouraged when you take a step back. good luck and let us know if you got the referral. :)


Hello Newla!

Glad you found your way back to Psychlinks.

I think i am lazy and want a quick fix and am not prepared to do the work thoroughly enough(plus i am busy working full time).

In our fast paced technologically dominated world it may seem that quick fixes are the norm, and there are unscrupulous individuals who take advantage of that concept to give false hope to people who may be in a vulnerable state.

An example of the "quick fix" quacks are the multitude of weight loss ads we are seeing on TV where contraptions are sold which claim to reduce wight with no work and eat all you want.

The fact is when our emotions or mental health require a tune up, we must be prepared to adjust our priorities so that the necessary time is devoted to improving our health.

Look at it this way; if you were told you needed dialysis, you would most certainly adjust your work schedule three times a week.

Please re consider your situation, and allow the necessary time for your own health care.


Welcome back to Psychlinks Newla :welcome2:

I am glad that you found your way back to this forum and I hope to see you around :wave:


Welcome back, Newla!

I think your decision to see a therapist to help you sort through this is a wise one. If we try things ourselves and we are not feeling any better then it's best to use professional help. No sense struggling when there are people who can help you.



Thank you all. I hear what you say about the time needed to sort myself out however with mental health concerns/illnesses we ten to keep going and tell ourselves it is our shortcomings that are making things so difficult.

With physical things too in our Western society we do not like to take time off work until we have to. I am in the Uk and though there are benefits and sickness payments in our work situations we are constantly thinking that if we are off work what will happen if we go for another job , how can we pay our commitments or debts or whatever!?

I hear what you are saying and will think carefully about if i am fit to return to work after the new year. However it is not as simple as that. I wish it were. I am not that ill. If I were I would take time off work - though I have felt worse and haven't done so.

My priorities? Scary to think of what they are. I like my lifestyle simple though it is, i can afford to do things that lift my mood. However I don't know what it would be like not to work so maybe i can throw off the chains that bind me soon and live a just as fulfilling life. Maybe 2008 will show me the way.:dance:
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