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    Nelson Mandela, posted by Daniel

Lost N Young

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Apr 8, 2007
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my new bf has been getting really depressed lately. n he has become really snappy n sarcastic toward me . i confronted him with this issue n he opened up about his sister.. she was raped last year sometime n he has been not coping with the court case..it has been getting me down as i feel as if I've lost the guy I've fallen in love with.. how can u help me , help him ? i don't want to seem pushy but if i don't then he might think I'm a bad gf .. help me please xxxxxxxxxxx
 

ladylore

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Hi Lost N Young

The best thing you can do is let him know you are there for him if he wants to talk. Unfortunately, you can't fix the pain but you can support him. The other part of this is to also take care of yourself by taking time for yourself, exercise, treat yourself well etc.

You can only support him the best you can as you are only one person. You may also suggest that he contact a counsellor if he needs additional support. But you are in no means a bad girl friend if you can't provide the kind of support that he needs.

I hope this helps

Ladylore

P.S. You may want to check out the other areas of the forum as you may get some additional ideas.
 

ThatLady

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I agree with Ladylore, Lost. There's not a lot you can do to help your boyfriend deal with this difficult situation. You can simply be there and listen, making it clear that you're not judging him, or his sister, and that you understand how difficult this is for both of them. I'm sure his feelings are on edge and you're there, so you're going to be a target, at times.

If he just can't seem to get a grip, and really is having trouble dealing with the emotions being generated by the trial, he can benefit a great deal from talking to a therapist. Rather than suggest this to him yourself, you might ask a good friend to intercede. It sometimes works better if a troubled person gets such a suggestion from a good friend instead of from a significant other. The relationships are different, so the input is received differently.

Good luck to you, to him, and to his sister. It sounds like there's been a lot of hurt. :hug:
 

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