Into The Light
MVP
what kinds of techniques exist to work through anger? not the explosive kind but the bottled up kind that is difficult to access? i have tried writing but writing isn't working for me.
- Thread starter Into The Light
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Although I haven't tried it yet....I have heard that playdoh works well. That stuff you can squish it, throw it, pound it etc. I really think that I am going to try it...if nothing else it sounds fun 
Other ideas that I have tried:
Is there something specific that you are angry about or someone specific?
This looks like a good post to start with: Eight Simple Anger Management Tips
Here is a link to a thread that I started last Fall How to Effectively Express Anger which has some really good resources posted by Cat Dancer.
Other ideas that I have tried:
- Writing
- Drawing
- Poetry
- Art (many kinds)
- Punching pillows
- Screaming outloud
Is there something specific that you are angry about or someone specific?
This looks like a good post to start with: Eight Simple Anger Management Tips
Here is a link to a thread that I started last Fall How to Effectively Express Anger which has some really good resources posted by Cat Dancer.
Into The Light
MVP
there are a lot of things i am angry about. the more i think about it all the angrier i get. but i don't deal well with anger and i just don't know how to let myself feel it. it scares me.
I think that some of us definitely have anger inside us whether it be because of things that were done to us, not done for us, or at specific people for both these cases.
I will be honest and say that without knowing whether it is a person that you are angry at or something that happened, it is hard to give you ideas as to how to best deal with the anger. What I am trying to give you above is some ideas generally on dealing with anger but if it is against someone then I feel that it could be a different story.
Also, in the time that you were typing your response, I added a few threads that may be of help to you.
Added: I know that you may feel that anger is scary and it can be if let go out of control but really anger is no different than any other emotion. It needs to be understood, felt and dealt with in a constructive way...no different than sadness, worry etc.
I will be honest and say that without knowing whether it is a person that you are angry at or something that happened, it is hard to give you ideas as to how to best deal with the anger. What I am trying to give you above is some ideas generally on dealing with anger but if it is against someone then I feel that it could be a different story.
Also, in the time that you were typing your response, I added a few threads that may be of help to you.
Added: I know that you may feel that anger is scary and it can be if let go out of control but really anger is no different than any other emotion. It needs to be understood, felt and dealt with in a constructive way...no different than sadness, worry etc.
It's ok to be angry ITL - anger is an expression of our emotions and we sometimes need to let it out.
So from my perspective at least - go with the flow if you can. Writing about it can be helpful, as long as you don't censor it...So for instance, maybe write "I'm p.o.'d because ________", "it's not faire that _________" , "I hate the fact that ___________".
I've done that before. And then, depending on the contents of my letter to myself...I've burned it...but there is definitely a release of the anger when I can do this for myself. Otherwise, I find other mechanisms to take out on myself...
So from my perspective at least - go with the flow if you can. Writing about it can be helpful, as long as you don't censor it...So for instance, maybe write "I'm p.o.'d because ________", "it's not faire that _________" , "I hate the fact that ___________".
I've done that before. And then, depending on the contents of my letter to myself...I've burned it...but there is definitely a release of the anger when I can do this for myself. Otherwise, I find other mechanisms to take out on myself...
Into The Light
MVP
halo, it's mostly people i guess.
jazzey, writing doesn't help, i've tried but i don't feel any better.
jazzey, writing doesn't help, i've tried but i don't feel any better.
Have you tried just writing the names of the people that you are angry with and speaking outloud of why you are angry at them....I will try to explain.
When I am angry at someone, I find that if I have their name in front of me then it brings the anger that I feel to the forefront. I then can access that anger, I don't need to write it down but I can speak it out loud and sometimes I doodle at the same time so it keeps my hands busy and I don't think of hurting myself all the while I am still talking out loud and getting angry and saying exactly what I would truly love to say to that person of how they hurt me, failed me etc.
Hope that made sense but if not, I can try to clarify.
And yes I agree with Jazzey that anger is not something to be feared. It is a strong, powerful emotion but no more so than many other emotions.
When I am angry at someone, I find that if I have their name in front of me then it brings the anger that I feel to the forefront. I then can access that anger, I don't need to write it down but I can speak it out loud and sometimes I doodle at the same time so it keeps my hands busy and I don't think of hurting myself all the while I am still talking out loud and getting angry and saying exactly what I would truly love to say to that person of how they hurt me, failed me etc.
Hope that made sense but if not, I can try to clarify.
And yes I agree with Jazzey that anger is not something to be feared. It is a strong, powerful emotion but no more so than many other emotions.
...Can you scream into a pillow somewhere? I've done that too. And I've punched a pillow. Heck, I've torn one to shreds not too long ago...
Try and think of a physical release for the anger - it really does feel good. I've also exercised anger off of me. Is there a way for you to do a few exercises tonight- even if it's only sit-ups.
Don't be afraid to let off that steam...I may be wrong, but I think we need to do this every once in a while...
Try and think of a physical release for the anger - it really does feel good. I've also exercised anger off of me. Is there a way for you to do a few exercises tonight- even if it's only sit-ups.
Don't be afraid to let off that steam...I may be wrong, but I think we need to do this every once in a while...
Into The Light
MVP
thank you halo for that suggestion. i'll see if i can work with that but now i'm scared.
jazzey, i once tried to scream into a pillow and just couldn't. i just felt so stuck. i think i'm too afraid to let myself feel it.
jazzey, i once tried to scream into a pillow and just couldn't. i just felt so stuck. i think i'm too afraid to let myself feel it.
What scares you about letting your anger out? Is it the loss of control, are you scared that you are going to go overboard? Is it that you are not going to be able to stop?
I think that if you identify what exactly you are scared of it may help to let you try and get past it.
Again....I say go for the play doh....its fun too
I think that if you identify what exactly you are scared of it may help to let you try and get past it.
Again....I say go for the play doh....its fun too
Into The Light
MVP
it's a fear of being overwhelmed by it and it taking over. i guess it is a fear of loss of control.
But you are feeling it - you're just stifling it back...And sometimes, we just have to 'fake' it if you know what I mean? Even if it's just grabbing that pillow and humming into it - or talking to it - "I'm am so angry", "I'm so scared to let this anger show through"...etc...You know what I mean? Hanging on to the anger inside always has a means of peering through in other forms - so if you have to, fake it for tonight ...
I don't mean to sound patronizing ITL, I just don't want you to stifle the anger anymore - you're entitled to that emotion... And just because I know that you love this smiley...:smack:
:heart::agree: :2thumbs:
Into The Light
MVP
thank you.. it's easier said than done. right now i'm just worn down.
Budoaiki
MVP
I find meditation and exercise really helpful but the best thing for me is being able to recognize when I feel that pressure building and I remind myself with a mantra that if I loose my head then I can't put it to much use.
In most martial arts there is a principle of regulating breathing (or ki) to deal with the stress that arises when you are confronted with an attack so you can relax and access the training that lies in the void of instinct.
When the body is in a relaxed state we breath deeply filling the lungs with air from the belly up to the chest in that order but when agitated we breath shallowly from the chest down without fully using the diaphragm. In martial arts this is called ki'ai and if you have ever practiced meditation the same principles of breathing apply to putting yourself in that relaxed state.
The next time you feel stressed give it a try.
In most martial arts there is a principle of regulating breathing (or ki) to deal with the stress that arises when you are confronted with an attack so you can relax and access the training that lies in the void of instinct.
When the body is in a relaxed state we breath deeply filling the lungs with air from the belly up to the chest in that order but when agitated we breath shallowly from the chest down without fully using the diaphragm. In martial arts this is called ki'ai and if you have ever practiced meditation the same principles of breathing apply to putting yourself in that relaxed state.
The next time you feel stressed give it a try.
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