More threads by haunting


I really don't want to get into specific details as it would most likely cause triggers for others but I am caught in this relationship and don't know how to get out.

My body can't take anymore, seems like I just recover and another incident occurs between my bf and I. I was trying to arrange subsidized housing but the office that I was dealing with left a message on our machine and my bf got it before I did. I now have bruises all over and it hurts to breathe. He shoved me so hard into something that I nailed my side.

Its not only the physical pain but the emotional termoil is making me feel so powerless that it frustrates me to no end. I had climbed half way up the ladder and feel knocked down again. I don't know how to deal with this which really makes me angry with myself as I am not stupid, I know I have to remove my children and I from this situation but its amazing how fear can run one's mind.

I don't know if this even makes much sense, not a whole lot does lately. Its weird because I feel so empty but yet the sadness is powerful--how can that be?


David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
If you do report it to the police, they will remove him from the home at least until you can secure alternate accomodation. Many police forces also now have victim assistance - social workers, etc., on staff - who will help you locate the resources you need to get you and your children out of there.


Inform the police, dear. Do it now. You cannot continue to allow yourself to be battered and intimidated. Think of your children. I will guarantee you that he won't stop with you. If he gets the idea that hurting you physically isn't enough, he won't hesitate to hurt your children. It's another way of hurting you, after all.

Get out. Get out NOW!


I went to talk to my doctor yesterday as he knows that this has been going on for a while now. He examined my side and said that it was my ribs, mostly just bruising. He records any incidents that occur and that he is aware of. He wants to contact a judge friend of his to see what can be done about a restraining order. I am fortunate to have the people that I do in my corner as my doctor is very well known here and much appreciated by many.

I have to go in and see him today as he wanted a chance to talk to my t this morning. My t also called this morning and will call again after he talks to my doctor.

In regards to the police--I am deathly afraid of police officers for very good reasons but thats a different story in itself but my t has offered to come with me to report this junk.

I agree with you ThatLady: I do worry about what he could potentially do to harm my kids as he has already in an emotional sense. My kids want to leave and as afraid as I am I can't ignore their cries for safety. I won' t allow anyone to hurt my kids anymore-they have been through enough.

Thanks everyone.


Well, my doctor and t are trying to help me figure something out. They both have some great ideas so we are going to get together next week and put this all in motion.

I had an offer from a friend tonight although I am not sure as I don't know him all that well. He is such a nice guy and he knows our situation. He told me that he has plenty of room for us until we can have more time to get set up better. I am really thinking about this offer as I know he is a good guy and I know others that are friends with him as well.

He is calling me tomorrow so we can talk more.

Thanks everyone,



Get out before its too late for you or your kids!

Stop endangering yourself and your kids! Just get out before its too late. Maybe you won't end up dead but do you know how many abusive husbands get custody of the kids!! He will not stop there (the abuse). Worst than the hitting or ridcule is not being able to kiss your kids goodnite. And if you don't document and go to the hospital or doctors or police well your up the river without a paddle. Be strong for your kids!!


Wolf mom

I'm currently in the same situation. Immediately go to the police. Pictures need to be taken, they will do it and doccument your statement for when you go to court. The state will press charges. You do not have to.

Do not waste time with your doctor and friend deciding what you need to do. You could be dead while they figure it all out. Obviously they haven't thought to take pictures, so what else are they not thinking of? Your kids could be battered.

***It is your life. You need to take control of it.***

Get a restraining order/order of protection. If it is your home, get the police to remove him. He can be put in jail.

If not, leave now. take all important papers. Do not let any mutual friend know where you are going. Go to a women's shelter, they'll take your kids too, and advise you what to do.

This is no joke. I was battered many times until he pistol whipped me, shot my truck with me in it and more. It's been over a month. My ribs still hurt and I think I'm smelling things that aren't there..

I truly believe if I hadn't gone to the sheirff I would be dead by now.

You said you were afraid of the police. Would you rather your kids be beaten or you be dead and them left with no Mom?? Think about that!
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