Low self-esteem is a state of not having confidence in who you are. I guess. I really don't understand what low self esteem is and how you would overcome it. Maybe that is why I cannot move on with my life and still feel so much anxiety and worhtlessness. Can someone please help me to truly understand what it is and what can be done to overcome it. I do know that as soon as I do something wrong I feel anxiety and hatred for myself. I think that I start with a little snowball and turn it into an avalanche. In my mind I make situations worse than what they really are and I avoid small problems until they are huge problems. I wonder if this has to do with low self esteem.
- Thread starter zeborah
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comfortzone
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Hi Zeborah,
Self-esteem refers to the self-evaluations each individual makes. A person expressing high self-esteem believes herself/himself to be fundamentally good, capable, and worthy while low self-esteem is a view of oneself as useless, inept, and unworthy. We tend to get into a pattern of evaluating ourselves a certain way but this can vary from each situation and different times in life. A person's self worth is learned in the first few years of life and we learn about who, what and how important we are from our primary care givers. There are different avenues a person can take to help improve self-esteem. These include but are not limited to: therapy, biblio-therapy, hypnosis, etc. Finding a therapist in your area who meets your needs is the first step I would recommend. If you are unable to do this, then I would read some books on self-esteem. Nathaniel Branden has some good books out on self-esteem.
Self-esteem refers to the self-evaluations each individual makes. A person expressing high self-esteem believes herself/himself to be fundamentally good, capable, and worthy while low self-esteem is a view of oneself as useless, inept, and unworthy. We tend to get into a pattern of evaluating ourselves a certain way but this can vary from each situation and different times in life. A person's self worth is learned in the first few years of life and we learn about who, what and how important we are from our primary care givers. There are different avenues a person can take to help improve self-esteem. These include but are not limited to: therapy, biblio-therapy, hypnosis, etc. Finding a therapist in your area who meets your needs is the first step I would recommend. If you are unable to do this, then I would read some books on self-esteem. Nathaniel Branden has some good books out on self-esteem.
I think what you have described yourself is a pretty good description, that mindset of always being afraid of failure, feeling worthless and hatred for yourself contribute and are parts of low self- esteem. We kind of get used in set ways of thinking about things, so as you said if one thing goes wrong, everything goes wrong, or even if 99% of something is good and 1% isn't it's that 1% that sticks in your mind. There's reasons though why you feel those ways about yourself, ie. people don't just have low self- esteem because of nothing... there's also a difference btwn feeling like you can't accomplish things and fail in life, versus feeling worthless in every aspect, believing you deserve only bad things, and hating yourself- at least I think so. for ex. some shy people have no confidence in their abilities but that doesn't mean they deep down hate themselves. so maybe looking at the reasons why you feel like this about yourself could shed some light onto why in turn you have low self- esteem.... it's possible to change the way you look at things and view yourself, w/ help most likely... are you afraid of failure when you avoid "small" problems? or do they just not seem worth your time? being afraid of failure can be so difficult to deal w/ b/c you end up not doing anything or doing the "wrong" things which in the end cause you to set yourself up for failure.... I think talking to someone about these thought patterns and feelings would help you a lot in order to feel better about yourself, this won't happen overnight, but it can happen!
Well, I guess avoid the small problems because of fear. I do think that I am a perfectionist. If I can't do everything perfectly then I feel as if I am a failure. I think that trying to be a perfectionist is my own little way of setting myself up for failure. I know I need help. I am certainly going to try and seek help. Maybe I can't change everything, but if I can at least learn to deal with things before they out of control my life will be better.
yes, perfectionism is a sure way to set yourself up for failure, I know, I do it all the time. 
( but you can learn better ways to deal w/ situatons etc. at least some of the time
( but you can learn better ways to deal w/ situatons etc. at least some of the timethat's all that anybody, including you, could really expect realistically.... it's not so much a matter of changing everything and becoming superwoman/man (again, that'd be perfection which is unrealistic) but more about learning new ways to deal w/ things so that your life doesn't spin out of control. good luck!
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