Hi,
My names Adrian I just turned 19, my lifes been pretty crap over the last few years...
I left highschool just before the end of year 11, so i didnt finish my educationl, I know i should have finished but i didnt, i was too stressed and couldnt cope, when i left i left behind my freinds and over time i lost contact with them... now i only have the people i work with and i only see them at work so this started my depression, i also injured my back at work and its has been going for 2 years now that increased my depression, about 2 years ago i started putting on some weight, this has made me more concious of myself, i have very pale skin and dark hair, my arms are hairy, my legs are hairy my butt is now hairy.. and ive noticed hair has started comming up on my back and stomach, its got me very depressed... ive always had trouble with girls, im just not confident around them. There is this girl next door who i have known for around 10 years, since we were kids, shes a couple of years younger than me, and about 3 months ago we started hanging out alot. Over an SMS she told me she liked me and i told her i liked her, we spent more time together and then we finally kissed, it was my first kiss and i think hers too. I wasnt depressed and i was happy for the first time in years. Then for some reason she stopped talking to me, i tried talking to her on the internet asked her whats wrong but she basicly ignores me and says nothing is wrong, and since then i have been thinking about her alot and ive been having crying spells i think about how shit my life is again, how im poor, uneducated, unattractive, no one loves me... i tried writing up pros and cons to my life thinking there must be some good things for me to focus on.. i came up with alot of cons... but no pros... i tried for so long to think of some pros.. but nothing.. i need help! im too scared to talk to anyone about it. If my mum or someone asks whats wrong i jusy say nothing, or i say i didnt get much sleep. I think about suicide alot.. i cant afford therapy please i need some advice, i dont know how much longer i can take this...
My names Adrian I just turned 19, my lifes been pretty crap over the last few years...
I left highschool just before the end of year 11, so i didnt finish my educationl, I know i should have finished but i didnt, i was too stressed and couldnt cope, when i left i left behind my freinds and over time i lost contact with them... now i only have the people i work with and i only see them at work so this started my depression, i also injured my back at work and its has been going for 2 years now that increased my depression, about 2 years ago i started putting on some weight, this has made me more concious of myself, i have very pale skin and dark hair, my arms are hairy, my legs are hairy my butt is now hairy.. and ive noticed hair has started comming up on my back and stomach, its got me very depressed... ive always had trouble with girls, im just not confident around them. There is this girl next door who i have known for around 10 years, since we were kids, shes a couple of years younger than me, and about 3 months ago we started hanging out alot. Over an SMS she told me she liked me and i told her i liked her, we spent more time together and then we finally kissed, it was my first kiss and i think hers too. I wasnt depressed and i was happy for the first time in years. Then for some reason she stopped talking to me, i tried talking to her on the internet asked her whats wrong but she basicly ignores me and says nothing is wrong, and since then i have been thinking about her alot and ive been having crying spells i think about how shit my life is again, how im poor, uneducated, unattractive, no one loves me... i tried writing up pros and cons to my life thinking there must be some good things for me to focus on.. i came up with alot of cons... but no pros... i tried for so long to think of some pros.. but nothing.. i need help! im too scared to talk to anyone about it. If my mum or someone asks whats wrong i jusy say nothing, or i say i didnt get much sleep. I think about suicide alot.. i cant afford therapy please i need some advice, i dont know how much longer i can take this...
