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JDog

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Just doing a little reflection on my past...

Could there be any direct, or indirect implications of being breast fed by my mother until the age of 4? 4 years of age just seems a bit too old in my opinion..
 

David Baxter

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It's a little unusual but I remember in the 60s and 70s it was less so... something that grew out of the hippie lifestyle and healthy living movements.

Could it have an impact on those infants later in life? Anything is possible. What is it that you are thinking about that you think could be linked to this?
 

JDog

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It's a little unusual but I remember in the 60s and 70s it was less so... something that grew out of the hippie lifestyle and healthy living movements.

Could it have an impact on those infants later in life? Anything is possible. What is it that you are thinking about that you think could be linked to this?

This would have been from '80 - '84. And yes, my parents were hippies living in southern cali at the time. I think the breast feeding along with a combonation of a couple other things could have possibly generated the main issue of why I bring this up in the first place. Hope you don't mind a little background info to help you understand before I explain the issue, so please bear with me for a couple minutes.

In addition to the breast feeding, she would "baby" me, in my perception at least, after my father punished me for being bad for instance, and also allow me to do things which my father outright told me not to do after he left the room or house, or whatever. For example, he told me not to watch TV while he was gone. Then after he left, my mom said it's ok, you can put it on. It seemed kind of paradoxical in a sense having my two parents tell me two different things. Maybe this made me feel closer to my mother and more resentful of my father. And this could be a contributing factor to the main issue. Perhaps I'm over analyzing things WAY too much here. If I am, let me know.

Lastly, I know my mom had a mediocre at best, relationship with my dad, and an outright bad relationship with her father. She also had an abortion when she was 18 or 19, which is why I think she may have had some male intimacy issues which, may have been conducive to me being her "best friend" and breast feeding me till I was 4 frickin years old. Maybe it's nothing I should be angry about. So, perhaps all this could be a prelude to:

Something that has been in the back of my mind for years and years. My mom didn't sexually abuse me or anything like that, it's what I did to some other kids when I was about 4 years old. I guess you could say that I was playing doctor, or at least "inspecting" two of my friends who were both male. Oh, I'm also male by the way.

Not until I got older, maybe around 18, did I even theorize any possible implications my actions at age 4 could have on my sexual identity. Now that I'm 26 and finishing up college and happened to find this site, I decided to ask about this stuff.

I guess my question is if it's possible that the actions of an innocent 4 year old could be a true indicator of one's sexual identity. I would like to think that as a kid, if I were to play "doctor" with a girl, my hetrosexuality would be pronounced...but it was with two other boys. Was it just kid's being kid's, or is this something I should think seriously about?
 

David Baxter

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JDog, at 4 years old this is almost certainly "kids being kids". While it is true that young children who have been or are being abused sometimes act out that abuse with other children, merely "playing doctor" or "inspecting" is just a natural curiosity on the part of a young child. And whether this involves others of the same sex or the opposite sex is not an accurate indicator of later life sexual orientation at all.

It's especially important to remember that childhood curiosity about the (mostly hidden) bodies of other people is not the same as adult sexuality. It's just a natural curiosity about themselves, the world around them, and the other people in that world.
 

JDog

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Thanks a lot for the timely reply. This makes me feel a lot better about things.

Jay
 

Mari

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H! I can not sleep so just thought I would add my thoughts here. I nursed my oldest son until he was one year, my second son until he was 18 months and my third son until he was 3 years old. I think I breast fed longer each time because I was more experienced, had more confidence, and had fewer problems each time. From my experience I would say that the longer a mother can nurse the better it is for the mother and for the child. The caring and comfort and closeness is a joy I will always treasure. Mari
 

braveheart

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I wasn't ever breast-fed at all, and that has definitely had an adverse effect.
Just my experience and opinion.
 

JDog

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"adverse effect"? Very interesting. Mind sharing what you think these effects are?
 

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