It'a been one year...

[EllieBethNielsen]

Last year around December I left my fiancee who I was living with and had been with for 4 years, since I was 18. I felt at the time that it would never work and I was afraid. We fought a lot and I didn't trust him since he sort of cheated on me. I tried to forgive and forget but I guess my insecurities took control and it consumed me. Nevertheless I left because I knew it would end in a horrible divorce.

However, it turned my whole world upside down. The heartbreak is something that is so intense and overwhelming that I can't breathe. Even today, 365 days later..

I've been with other men and currently dating a lovely man. But he is always on the back of my mind. Not a moment goes by that I'm not thinking of him or dreaming of him. I hate him so much yet just want him to love me. I break down crying all the time because of it. I lost everything when I left him and I have nothing left. I know it seems dramatic as its a relationship, but I gave him my whole life (he was controlling), and it's hard to gain it back.

My concern is that it's been a year. I drink everyday in order to forget and I hurt the ones I love. I'm also scared since my new relationships with men are damaged because of it. I dont want to lose my current boyfriend but I keep pushing him away.

Two weeks after I left my fiancee I asked to work on things, yet he had met someone else and picked her over me. TWO WEEKS. After I gave him 4 years... anyway... Has anyone had to deal with this type of pain and how do I get over it. What can I do to help. I need this pain to stop it's simply killing me and I'm afraid one day soon it actually will.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I am so sorry for your pain. I think talking to a therapist or counselor would help. Have you thought about doing that. If that pain is that intense that you're drinking every day then I think getting some help to deal with it is a good idea.

 

[forgetmenot]

He has moved on yet you have not The abandoment the betrayal all stay with you and for you to heal you need help. Like CD said get a therapist ok to talk about this pain to help you move forward now ok so he does not have any more power over you. To teach you better coping skills then drinking You deserve to heal hun give yourself that chance ok

 

[Ftbwgil]

Hello

I am so sorry drinking while it might numb you and help you forget will only make things worse. Drinking a lot makes us lose ourselves and it also creates new problems. Drinking will not improve your situation. Its hard as we feel rejected when someone leaves us but do not leave yourself as well. You need yourself right now to be caring and loving towards yourself. Please take care of you. Find things that please you and try to deal with the closue of your old relationship if in fact it is over.... and it appears it might be. Things happen in life that make things difficult and we grow from these things.. kinda of a bummer that we have to have challenges to learn and grow. Life continues on and offers many beautifull opportunities and they are often right in front of us and we choose not to look at them. I suggest that you get to know you the person you are and Im sure you will be delighted by what you find out. Good luck

 

[EllieBethNielsen]

Thank you everyone. I am really trying to let go. We both have changed so much, he really isn't the same man I loved. And I'm sure he's happy now and thats good. Thank you all for your kind words of support. The drinking started when I was still with my ex-fiance but just escalated out of control after we broke up. I have been to AA and tried a counsellor but I didn't stick with it so I should try again.

Thanks again :]

 

[forgetmenot]

Hope you have reached out again to get that help ok you deserve to heal and to have peace now hugs