More threads by Ashley-Kate

today was not a good day i had my regular appointment with my school nurse to check my vital sings do to other probleme and she noticed my upper arms were recently cut and well the hole i fell on ice doesnT' work when you have a history of S-I and i know it was quite evident and well i tried to lye abotu it cause i donT' really feel like dealing with that ight now i have so much at the moment that this just seems so minor but no she insisted we talk and she wants to see me every week to check up on me i hate it btu she sais she is afraid i may get infection because i imune systeme is week and well the extent of my s-i is worrying her i tried to explain that i was just stressed cause the exams and all but she won'T leave me alone i know it i important to get help but i just wnat to go on my own and she doesn't seem to understand that she thinks i am letting myself go... she doesnT' get that i am not trying to kill myself or anything and most of the time when i cut i am so not there that i dont' even realise until after what i did but yet she doens't understand.
i don'T know how to make it clear to her that i just want to be left alone a bit
yours trully ashley
Re: school nurse


It may be beneficial for you to see her everyweek. It would be a good idea for her to keep the wounds clear, and it may give you the oppertunity to start opening up to her and dealing with it a little.

Does the regularity of that visit scare you a little?
Re: school nurse

I can understand the feeling of wanting to be left alone, but it sounds like she really wants to help you and look out for you which isn't a bad thing. I know it is hard to depend on people and get help, but sometimes we need to do that. Self injury can be very serious if you get an infection especially since your immune system is weak. It's serious anyway, but being weak makes it so much harder to heal.
Re: school nurse

i know i should let her help me but the thing is yes the frequency scares me a lot even because it hs been abotu 2 weeks since i started cutting again and they are more and more freqent if she notices that i am just scared that she will overreact because i cut about evry othe day sometimes less but it is very uncontrolable i basicly lose controle and i am afraid she will see my lack of controle especially thati told her i am doing better and i am controling it
yours trully
Re: school nurse

Ok, so how about this. Make it clear to her that you would see her once every week, but that you won't be able to handle it if she 'over-reacts' or has an 'outburst' reaction?

If she understands that you need her to be calm and accepting then perhaps seeing her will make the SI real to you, and she can help you with calm outsider views on the situation? Something you probably need to help get yourself grounded?


Re: school nurse


I also think that seeing the nurse once a week is a good idea especially so that there is no chance go getting an infection. I do agree with what Phoenix said here:

Make it clear to her that you would see her once every week, but that you won't be able to handle it if she 'over-reacts' or has an 'outburst' reaction?

Do you think that you would be able to say this to her?


HI Ashley,
This is what you wrote to TLC a while back, your own ideas that have helped you in the past. Don't know if this is of any help to you now, but I hope it is in some way.
what i find that helps is going out for a walk to just blow off steam or punch into a pillow .. sounds stupid but once all the rage and feelings are out and you are just so sleepy do to walking or running or pounding into a pillow than not that you forget that youwanted to cut but it just doesn't get so much in need anymore cause you made another path and chose something watever it is and keep that as a rootine .. when i hade that feeling i would first look through my adress book than if that did not work i would go out side and run as fast as i could anywere basicly than if i still was really freeked out i would look into this boxe i have filled with old memories of when i was a little girl my teddies and my books .. pictures anything to remind me that i am aloud to be happy.. basicly once youget a rootine built the cutting won't just vanish or the feelings of it eigther but it will not be a firt resort you will have built this plan that when you are feeling that way you normally go out for a walk or call a friend the more you use that rootine the more you will be used ot it ..

I also agree that seeing the school nurse regularly is a good idea, like the others have said before me, seeing her has a two fold benefit for you. Your wounds will be treated and you can have someone who can offer you support. If you can, tell her you are afraid of her possible reactions as has been suggested by Phoenix. You have been seeing her for a while now, ( "do to other probleme") which is good because she's not a stranger to you. It seems clear from your post that she cares how things are going for you.
I'm sorry you are having such a rough time of it and I hope you will be able to allow yourself to take the support she is offering.


Seeing the school nurse weekly is an excellent idea, Ashley. The other important thing is to tell the nurse the truth. Don't tell her you're "doing better" if you're not doing better. She can't help you at all if she's working on incorrect information. :hug:
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