More threads by Cin


My little sister is 9yrs old, and recently ive been noticing that my mother's "words" or "constructive critiscms" have been getting to her. Our mum complains and tells her about her weight (shes overweight) constantly - just the same way she told me off about my stupitdy and clumsiness. I would hate for my sister to turn out how iam now, i know it sounds like an extreme, but my mum is acting the EXACT same way she did with me and im seeing my sister get scared the same way i did at her age and upwards.
I have tried talking to my sister but we are not that close; which is my fault for shunning out the family when i get in the house and just not being at home as much as i used to. When i have spoken to her she tells me that mum scares her sometimes and thatshe gets a little sad, but whenever i try and bring the issue of her weight up she gets upset and thinks iam insulting her as well.
I find it quite confusing how i can see this happening to my sister, but when it comes to me and looking back at my childhood i don't see it in the same way.i just see myself as a very sensitive person/child.
There is no way that i can confront my mum about it because is highly likely that i would loose the battle and she will not take in what ive said at all; probably because iam still that 9yr old child to her.
I know i can't change the way my mum is towards me and my sister but i really can't bear the thought of seeing my sister go in the same direction as me, its already heart breaking enough to hear mum's comments towards her.
Is there anything i could do to change this?


Sounds like your mom and sister need some therapy, but there's probably not much of a chance you can convince your mom to get it for them. The next best thing you can do, in my opinion, is to try to be supportive of your sister, and to be there for her when she needs to vent. Sounds like you're doing that, already.

Another thing your sister might do is to see if her school offers any counselling opportunities. Having someone outside the issue is often very helpful and supportive to kids having problems at home.

David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
Without talking at all about your sister's weight, you might try to let her know in a general way that you know your mom says unkind and hurtful things sometimes but that it's important for her to understand that those things aren't true -- they are just your mom lashing out...
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