Needing advice please

[white page]

Last week we had a lady client who arrived twice , after copious self medication with alcohol , the thing that I need help with is how do I suggest that she doesn't drive in this state .? There are schools on her trajectory to come to us .

Having talked to colleagues, my boss and other folks I know , everyone says that there is little or nothing one can do , but I can't just turn a blind eye .

Her addiction is not my problem as long as she doesn't drive , but knowing that she is putting others at risk by driving under the influence of alcohol is my problem .

Someone did suggest that by arriving in that state maybe was a cry for help , and this may well be true , this lady is a real sweetie normally .

How can I broach the subject in a tactful way as possible ?

I shall be grateful for your suggestions and wise advice .

thank you for reading .

 

[Lana]

Re: needing advice please

That's an interesting question, WP. When I was reading your post, the first thought that popped into my head was that you could call the police and report her. You'd have to give them her license plate and they'd do what they do. Or, they'd tell you what can be done.

The other option is a bit more....delicate. It would involve speaking with the woman in question. You can always inquire if she's alright, if everything's ok, and if she chooses to share, you can mention that driving under influence is bound to cause more problems then it solves. Or, if she doesn't tell, You can say that you've noticed that she's been drinking and that you're concerned for her welfare and anyone that shares the road with her. It would have to be done in a compassionate (not accusing) manner.

I have low tolerance to drinking and driving. My husband suffered serious injury from being hit by drunk driver. It almost killed him. I also have a sister that recently got in trouble for DUI. Anyways...maybe others have other options...those were the ones that came to my mind. You're a wonderful soul to care for others this way, WP.

 

[white page]

Re: needing advice please

The other option is a bit more....delicate. It would involve speaking with the woman in question. You can always inquire if she's alright, if everything's ok, and if she chooses to share, you can mention that driving under influence is bound to cause more problems then it solves. Or, if she doesn't tell, You can say that you've noticed that she's been drinking and that you're concerned for her welfare and anyone that shares the road with her. It would have to be done in a compassionate (not accusing) manner.

Thank you so much for your feedback Lana , I will try the second option first , I must admit my first feeling was one of anger at her, as I consider it a crime to drive in that condition , like you I have lost friends and seen folks badly injured by this sort of irresponsibility.

I will try the compassionate approach and see how that goes . I know that if that doesn't work I wouldn't hesitate to tell the police , even at the risk of her losing her license as I think this would be doing her a favour by perhaps facing up to the consequences of her iresponsibility , not to mention the folks who escape a possible disaster .

 

[Lana]

Re: needing advice please

I totally agree with you. I'm crossing my crossables that she'll respond well. Let us know how things work out, WP. :hug:

 

[ladylore]

Re: needing advice please

I have no tolerance for drinking and driving WP. A bit of a spin on Lana's suggestion, which is good. Tell the woman driving to you in that state is unacceptable and illegal. Warn her that if you see this again you will call the police and report it.

There is another part to this too. I don't know for a fact, but my sense is that your agency could also get into trouble for not stepping in. If there ever was an accident on the way to your place and the staff had prior knowledge of this type of behaviour, the staff could be on the line for not saying and/or doing something sooner.

Just my thoughts.

 

[NicNak]

Re: needing advice please

Lana and Ladylore made another great suggestion that I wouldn't have thought of, interms of talking to the lady.

I work for the liquor comission here. When customers come in, intoxicated we are required by-law to refuse them. We watch and see if they are driving, if so we call 911 (emergency service number) straight away with a plate number and discription of the car.

I like Lana and Ladylore have no tolorance for impared driving. It has horrible consequences.

Like you, White Page we couldn't do anything really regarding ones addiction to alcohol, but when it came to the impared driving, that majorly crosses the line. It is not just the one person, them self who is at danger. They are now putting others at risk of injury or being killed.

I know it is not easy to have to call the police on people. Especially when you have already established a repore with them, but the way we viewed it, public safety comes before anything else.

I don't think the police would tell her who reported it.

Personally that is what I would do, is call the police next time you see her intoxicated and driving. I have done it while being out and about in my regular life, when I spot people who are impared and driving.

You are a wonderful soul White Page. Maybe by talking to her, you may get through to her too.

 

[white page]

Re: needing advice please

There is another part to this too. I don't know for a fact, but my sense is that your agency could also get into trouble for not stepping in. If there ever was an accident on the way to your place and the staff had prior knowledge of this type of behaviour, the staff could be on the line for not saying and/or doing something sooner.

I agree Ladylore ,
This is why I talked to my colleaugues and my boss about this , but got hardly any feedback , apart from the "cry for help" possibility . Morally I personnally cannot let this go , and because my boss doesn't feel concerned by this I will follow up the advice given . We have a little room I can take her aside to .

Will let you know how it goes .

 

[Banned]

Re: needing advice please

I too wonder about personal/professional responsibility, and even how I would feel if something happened after she left and I knew she was under the influence.

I'm not sure what kind of an agency it is, or what the situation is, but I would probably be a bit more direct and ask her if she's been drinking, and if so, how many, and would she like me to call her a cab or would she like to wait it out, but I cannot let her leave in an intoxicated state. It would all be done very delicately and compassionately, and without judgment, but there is a greater good at stake here.

Just my two cents.

 

[ladylore]

Re: needing advice please

Please do and good luck.

 

[white page]

Re: needing advice please

Like you, White Page we couldn't do anything really regarding ones addiction to alcohol, but when it came to the impared driving, that majorly crosses the line. It is not just the one person, them self who is at danger. They are now putting others at risk of injury or being killed.

I know it is not easy to have to call the police on people. Especially when you have already established a repore with them, but the way we viewed it, public safety comes before anything else.

thank you NN , this is so helpful , and strengthens me in my action .
you will be all sitting on my shoulder like little gaurdien angels when I talk to this lady

bless you all .

 

[Halo]

Re: needing advice please

I agree with what everyone has said and their suggestions are good ones :2thumbs:

I just wanted to wish you good luck with your talk and let us know how it goes.

Take care
:hug: :hug:

 

[white page]

Re: needing advice please

hopefully will see her on Tuesday ,

Thanks again everyone . I knew I could lean on and count on you all :heart:

 

[ladylore]

Re: needing advice please

Any time.

 

[white page]

just an update , she didn't come today , maybe tomorrow !
I've practised my approach to her to myself ........

 

[NicNak]

That is good to do I think White Page. SOmetimes when I know a situation is happening, it helps me to gather my thoughts and practice too.

Keep us posted White Page. :support: I am sure you will do well

 

[white page]

ouufff I did it , much discretion and tact , took the lady aside to little room , said that I realised she was not doing too well lately , etc. this opened the door to drink and drive , dangers of to others and herself , this led to the health risks of drink which led to her promising that she would see her doc tomorrow if she could , at the end said that the next time she came inebriated in her car I would call the police . made her promise me to keep me up to date. She was needing someone to tell her to stop , needing to be noticed in fact . Also said that it was better she come to chat to me than turn to that option , which wasn't an option anyway .
keeping my fingers crossed that she does see her doc . I think she will .

thanks everyone for all your invaluable feedback

 

[Lana]

Ohh WP, that is wonderful! You did a fantastic job in that intervention. Kudos to you and that lady is very fortunate to have you in her corner. Well done!

 

[NicNak]

That is great White Page! You did a fantastic thing. I am so proud of you and happy that you reached out to her the way you did.

 

[Halo]

Congrats, WP :yahoo: You did a really good job with speaking to her :2thumbs:

 

[white page]

If this sort of situayion ever arises again ( hopefully not ) I won't hesitate again , you guys gave me the confidence to do it , so it was team work , imagine a shy lady , with a bunch of forum friends perched invisibly on her shoulders encouraging her to follow through with her convictions ,

that was me today


can I say a:woohoo: and a big :thankyou2: