Negative Self-Talk: A Culprit of Anxiety and Depression

[David Baxter PhD]

Negative Self-Talk: A Culprit of Anxiety and Depression
by Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.
Fri, Mar 18th 2011

We’ve all seen those images of a person standing there in reflection with a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. The fact is, it’s not too far off from the truth of how things really work. Every day we walk around and there are voices in our heads telling us what to do, how to do it, what’s wrong with us or how we could do better. More often than not, the voices are telling us negative things about ourselves, when we’re anxious or depressed they tell how the future looks bleak, how no one can help us and we can’t help ourselves. How do we get a hold of negative self-talk to live a better life?

In A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook, we suggest this practice:

Notice if there’s any negative self-talk in your mind at this moment. You may hear thoughts like “This isn’t going to work for me” or “Who am I kidding? Things will never change.” If so, ask yourself if there’s another way you can view the situation. What happens if you do as the sage in the story and say, “Maybe so, maybe not.” Over the next week, take this practice with you into your daily life, looking out for automatic negative interpretations and other mind traps.
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If you’re interested in the maybe so, maybe not story, you can get it here. (or see below)

The point here is to recognize these automatic negative thoughts (ANTS) in the same way we might see that angel and devil in the picture.

They’re just these external objects telling us what to do. When we peel the lens back we begin to see that we are not our thoughts and in fact, they can’t possibly even be true. How would we ever truly know that things aren’t going to better?

If we reach back into our histories and take an accurate depiction of life, we will see that there is ebb and flow to everything, what goes down must go back up and eventually there will likely be a dip again.

The question isn’t how can we eradicate these down cycles; the question is how can we notice them coming sooner and choose not to entertain the ANTS so they don’t sink us deeper. Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) which is largely based on Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) is a wonderful program guiding us through exercises and practices to help us nip the cycle in the bud when it occurs and become more present to our lives.

We have to think, how much of life do we miss out on when our mind is swimming with these ANTS? Is it possible that we miss out on the pleasant events that could be a source of resiliency? The answer: Yes.

Go ahead and practice today, be on the lookout for the automatic negative thoughts (ANTS), see if you can ask yourself if there is a different way to see this situation. See if you can ask yourself if there is a different way you can treat yourself in this moment. If you are in pain, what do you most need right now? How can you love yourself in this moment?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Thoughts are Not Facts: A Story Everyone Should Know
by Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.
Fri, Jan 22nd 2010

Stories, poems and quotes can sometimes convey a deep message that can help us make a shift in our lives. When we're feeling depressed, manic or just anxious we often jump to conclusions, interpreting events depending on the mood state we are in. It's important to understand here that thoughts are not facts. The following is a story similar to one in my upcoming book A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook that is meant to help us see that sometimes our interpretation or judgment of an event in our life as good or bad may not always be so black and white. Here it is:

There is a story of a very wise old man in a village. Everyone in the village looked up to him and sought his advice. One summer day, a villager came to him in a state of panic, "Wise sage, I don't know what to do, my ox has died and now I am unable to plow my fields, this is the worst thing that could have ever happened." The sage looked him in the eye and replied, "maybe so, maybe not." In a state of disbelief the man returned to his family and proceeded to tell them how the sage was no sage after all and he has lost his mind because surely this was the worst thing that could've ever happened.

The next morning the man went on a walk on in the distance saw a strong young horse grazing in the field. Immediately he had the idea to catch the horse and that his troubles would be over. He brought the horse back and realized how blessed he was, plowing was even easier than before. The image of the sage came up in his mind and the man ran over to him to apologize. Upon seeing the sage the man said "Please accept my apologies, you were absolutely right, if I had not lost my ox, I wouldn't have gone on that walk and would never have captured the horse. You have to agree that catching this horse was the best thing that ever happened". The old sage looked into his eyes and said, "maybe so, maybe not".

Are you kidding me, thought the man. This guy is a nut. I don't think I'll be coming by here again. The man returned home to the village. A few days later his son was riding the horse and was bucked off, breaking his leg and now unable to help out with the farm. This is the worst thing that could ever have happened, thought the farmer, how will we eat? Again, the farmer went to the sage and told him what had happened. "You must see the future, how did you know this would happen? I don't know how we'll get all the work done now. This time you have to admit, this is the worst thing that could ever have happened." Once again, the sage calmly and with love, looked into the farmer's eyes and replied, "maybe so, maybe not". The farmer was furious by this response and stormed back to the village.

The very next day troops arrived looking for all young men who were healthy and able to fight in the new war. His son was the only young man not taken, and having chance of surviving in an impossible war where almost all the men would surely die.

The moral of this story is simply, we can't always be sure if an event that occurs is good or bad. What seems like a negative event, may lay the path for something positive. Maybe getting a ticket, allows a person to slow down so they don't get in an accident 15 minutes later. Mindfulness gives us the ability to notice when we are automatically interpreting an event negatively and gives us the space to consider alternatives. In time, we can gain a sense that things will turn out Ok.​

 

[bloodwood]

Tied to this first article is something which we covered in a course at work.
"What you focus on, gets bigger" Simple and obvious but if what I am focusing on is negative... it gets bigger.
When I can cognitively address my thoughts and swing them around a bit I feel so much better.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

It's also one of the dangers of alcohol and certain recreational drugs, at least for some people. Substance use tends to induce hyperfocus in many people. If you're thinking positive or euphoric thoughts (or if you're in love), that can be a good thing. But if you're feeling down, depressed, worried, or angry, it may make you feel worse by increasing your focus on all that negativity.

 

[bloodwood]

There is the hyperfocus and the is also the distortion. Both mental illness and drugs can distort perception/interpretation. So with the hyperfocus and drugs and mental difficulties combined everything complicates everything else.
My brother became schizophrenic, it is said, as a possible result of his alcoholism. Emotional difficulty led to substance abuse and then both led to the mental illness I guess. The thoughts and focus combined with the substances.

I like the presentation of ANTS. Is MBCT the same thing as Cognitive Behavior Therapy in practice?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

It's a modified or expanded versionm of CBT.

 

[icthus]

At least intuitively, I agree that I sabotage myself with negative thinking and would do well to develop a greater consciousness of when I do and fight back sooner rather than later. And at least intuitively, I acknowledge that I often don't know the difference between a good thing and a bad. Maybe its bad, maybe not.

By the same token, maybe it's good, maybe not. For the moment, please accept that not as negative, but logical. Maybe the fact that the son in the above story did not go off to war and die was a bad thing. That's a logical possibility within the story. Maybe the discovery of the horse was a bad thing, and so on. In other words, if we don't know what "positive" and "negative" or "good" and "bad" mean, what is the purpose of negative or positive self-talk?

If memory serves, classic Eastern thought argues that we should respond by ending desire. If we don't care what we are like or what outcomes may be, we have removed ourselves from suffering. (Please pardon me if I have misrepresented the case, I do not believe at the moment that I have. Gentle corrections welcome, if any.)

But here let me assume that when the son did not go off to war, it was a good thing, at least to father and son. Let me assume that at some level, I understand my anxious and depressed thoughts are bad and what positive thoughts ought to replace them. Well, then I have a powerful tool. And I think this issue is powerful.

But I still have problems. One, I my thoughts sabotage me for what are no doubt self-centered reasons. My anxiety helps rationalize not trusting or not accepting some perceived or actual negative outcome. My depressive thoughts help me avoid accepting responsibility or shield me from disappointment. Or whatever. There's madness, but method in it, to borrow from a chief of the old dead white guys. In other words, at some level I may know and at another level, if I can put it that way, not know what's good for me--don't know that I don't know. I suppose that is where a second opinion or outside authority may help.

Second, my positive thoughts may not be reasonable. Nor may the suggested positive thoughts of another. At some point there needs to be a convergence of good feelings and actually good performance and outcomes. I'm not talking about perfection, but hope, progress, and some certainties.

Many of us in the West today are certain only that there are no certainties. Some who see internal contradiction there feel content with practicality and not asking too many questions. As a guide, intuition often ain't too bad. I prefer to ground some certainties in religious transcendence. That does not make me immune from ANTS, nor does it give me grounds to define positive and negative outcomes in every case, nor do I always get things right, but it does give me various reasons to fear, trust, hope, and in many cases to understand the difference between negative and positive thoughts.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

The foundation of CBT is not that your feelings and reactions and interpretations are always wrong, bit that, being aware that certain conditions like depression and anxiety increase the likelihood opf certain cognitive distortions, it is important to challenge your automatic reactions and interpretations to determine if they are wrong in this instance.

 

[bloodwood]

Hi icthus,
I do not find that life is quite so ambiguous as you describe. Knowing what helps you or hinders you is usually a bit more clear.
For CBT I can speak of my own experience with it as a life tool.
Because of my background I had adopted some distorted ideas. Belief in these thoughts made me feel very bad - they were incorrect. I used the conciousness excercises and examining these thoughts to determine how valid they were. The ones that are valid I deal with. The ones which prove to be distortions I work at correcting and as a result I do not feel so bad and I have greater clarity of understanding of myself. It takes time and commitment but is a very powerful healing tool.