Please help - I hate myself more than anything and I want to die

[[talon]]

IM 15 YEARS OLD

i was horribly depressed and socially anxious a few months ago. then i was referred to a psychiatrist and he diagnosed me with general anxiety disorder and i was prescribed celexa,an anti-depressant. i never told my doctor that i was suicidal because my mom was with me and i didn't want her to know,that and i also cut. things HAD been SLIGHTLY better since then.

however, i started high school. everything went back to the way it was b4. horrible. awful. my anxiety is still here, just somewhat less so. i only have 1 friend, my others have went to different schools and/or ditched me for new friends,i am incapable of making friends because of my friking anxiety that is mainly in social situations ( i feel like im having a heart attack whenever im near people i dont know.i used to have really insane anxiety attacks before i started celexa,but even now i can still feel something similiar to one). i go to the ****tiest school on the face of the earth and i cant leave, i want to die more than anything right now because everyone hates me and im going to die alone my mom hates me and my sister hates me and my dad just doesn't care. my beloved cat dissapeared mysteriously and I HAVE TO SEE A THERAPIST to learn how to handle social situations with group therapy which scares me because im worried it wont work cuz im so nervous
i only sleep 3 hours a night because i cant shut off my brain and im not allowed to take drugs.

what should i do?

 

[Mari]

Re: Plz help, I really hate myself more than anything and i want 2 die? ?

H! Talon, I am sorry that you are feeling bad. Do you mean that you are not allowed medication from your doctor? :support: Mari

 

[Into The Light]

Re: Plz help, I really hate myself more than anything and i want 2 die? ?

i am sorry you are hurting so badly right now. i know it's really really hard for you and that you probably won't believe me, but things can get better. but you need help with this. can you see the school nurse and talk to her? can you call a kids help line for support?

are you seeing a therapist at all?

 

[Cat Dancer]

Re: Plz help, I really hate myself more than anything and i want 2 die? ?

I am sorry you're struggling. I am so sorry about your cat disappearing. That must be so painful.

I agree with ITL, things can get better. Medication can take some time to kick in. And if it's not the right med, then there are others you can try. Talk it over with your doctor if you feel the medication isn't helping you.

When do you get to see a therapist?

 

[ladylore]

Re: Plz help, I really hate myself more than anything and i want 2 die? ?

Hi Talon,

Here is the direct link to Kids Help Phone. You can access a crisis counsellor from this page.

I know you are hurting right now but suicide is a permanent solution to a situation that is temporary. Please talk to a counsellor - your worth it Talon.

Kids Help Phone

:support:

 

[joe isuzu]

I'm really sorry that you are feeling this down right now but don't give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are only 15 years old & ,even though that seems really grown up to you right now, you have many years ahead of you to enjoy. There is a lot happening in your life right now & I understand how bad high school can be when you don't quite " fit in". It's important to remember that no one can tell you that you can't get medication or can't get help. You are a human being and you have certain rights.

You need to talk to your school counselor or call your local mental health line and talk to someone about this. That's what they are there for! I'm glad you found this place so you know that you are not alone. My life is hard right now too, but after finding this place, at least I have someone to talk to and I know I'm not alone.

Don't give up and don't let anyone tell you that you can't get help, it's your life, not theirs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joe Isuzu

Talon,

hope you found someone out there to tlk to. Your post has been nagging at me all day. I know what it's like to feel hopeless but there are people who care & people who will help you. Keep your chin up! Joe

 

[[talon]]

H! Talon, I am sorry that you are feeling bad. Do you mean that you are not allowed medication from your doctor? Mari

I'm on Celexa, but I mean I'm not allowed to take sleeping pills. I can't sleep.

i am sorry you are hurting so badly right now. i know it's really really hard for you and that you probably won't believe me, but things can get better. but you need help with this. can you see the school nurse and talk to her? can you call a kids help line for support?

are you seeing a therapist at all?

My psychiatrist arranged for me to see a therapist, but I haven't heard anything about it yet.

I am sorry you're struggling. I am so sorry about your cat disappearing. That must be so painful.

I agree with ITL, things can get better. Medication can take some time to kick in. And if it's not the right med, then there are others you can try. Talk it over with your doctor if you feel the medication isn't helping you.

When do you get to see a therapist?

Well I've been on it for 2-3 months, and it has barely changed any of my problems. I will think about that, thank you.

When do I get to see the therapist? I'm not sure.

Hi Talon,

Here is the direct link to Kids Help Phone. You can access a crisis counsellor from this page.

I know you are hurting right now but suicide is a permanent solution to a situation that is temporary. Please talk to a counsellor - your worth it Talon.

Thank you.

I'm really sorry that you are feeling this down right now but don't give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are only 15 years old & ,even though that seems really grown up to you right now, you have many years ahead of you to enjoy. There is a lot happening in your life right now & I understand how bad high school can be when you don't quite " fit in". It's important to remember that no one can tell you that you can't get medication or can't get help. You are a human being and you have certain rights.

You need to talk to your school counselor or call your local mental health line and talk to someone about this. That's what they are there for! I'm glad you found this place so you know that you are not alone. My life is hard right now too, but after finding this place, at least I have someone to talk to and I know I'm not alone.

Don't give up and don't let anyone tell you that you can't get help, it's your life, not theirs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joe Isuzu

Talon,

hope you found someone out there to tlk to. Your post has been nagging at me all day. I know what it's like to feel hopeless but there are people who care & people who will help you. Keep your chin up! Joe

Thank you. I'm glad that people actually do understand what I'm talking about. I will try to stick around for a little while longer.

 

[Into The Light]

if you aren't sleeping that is the first thing that needs to be addressed. i would start to insist on that. lack of sleep makes everything that much worse.

 

[joe isuzu]

I'll second that! the less I sleep, the worse I feel. It's not easy with 14 hour days but I keep trying. I've heard it's even more important as a teenager but you'll have to ask someone more informed than me. Keep your chin up, it will get better!!!!!!!!