Pregnant After Age 50? How Old Is Too Old to Have a Baby?

[David Baxter PhD]

Pregnant After Age 50? How Old Is Too Old to Have a Baby?
by Holly Pevzner
Sep 28, 2011

Delayed motherhood is nothing new. Thanks to modern medicine and sheer luck, women have been having babies past 40 for a while now. Juxtaposed with the train wrecks on MTV’s 16 and Pregnant, giving birth at 40 seems downright brilliant. And clearly, more and more people agree: In 2008, about 8,000 babies were born to women 45-plus, more than double the number in 1997, according to an article in New York Magazine. And over 500 of these children were born to women who were 50 years old or older -- that’s a 375 percent increase.

This fact creeps a lot of people out. Lisa Miller, the author of the article, who herself had a baby at 40, put it this way:

“...when a 50-year-old decides to strap on the Baby Bj?rn, that choice...overwhelmingly prompts something like a moral gag reflex.”

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The reflex apparently hits for many reasons: It unnatural! It’s cruel to essentially guarantee your child will be without a parent by age 30! It’s risky -- your likelihood of having a preemie with lung, digestive and/or neurological issues is way higher! It’s selfish! It’s naive -- kids are too much work for older folks!

The article attempts to call the masses out on their double-standardness: Today, 2.6 million grandparents in America are raising their children’s children and they’re not labeled unfit based of their age. Plus, it’s nearly impossible to have a child unassisted at 50 -- these children are wanted. Older parents are established, complete with money and security. And, shock, their kids are smart and showered with attention!

In theory, I understand it. Older parents are probably infinitely better than younger parents at many things. But I keep coming back to a quote in the article:

“Children are entitled to at least one healthy, vibrant parent,” says Julianne Zweifel, a psychologist who treats fertility patients in Wisconsin. "Just because you’re alive doesn’t mean you’re healthy and vibrant."

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It’s estimated that if your mom had you at 50, she’d likely be dead by the time you’re 30. That also could mean that you’d spend a good part of your 20s coping with your parent’s mental and physical decline. As a mom, I wouldn’t want to set my child up for that. Instead, my two boys get the stressed, not-rich, unestablished and young(ish) mom that I am over the calm, wealthy, settled, older mom I could be. I hope that’s okay. And if not, at least I’ll (hopefully) still be here to hear all of their complaints when they’re adults.

 

[Daniel E.]

"Age need not be a barrier to a safe, healthy pregnancy."

~ American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I think both the posted article and the original magazine article to which it links have a very biased and judgmental view of the health and stamina of many older parents, and I find some (much) of the logic specious. For example:

Just because you’re alive doesn't mean you’re healthy and vibrant."

And just because you're 50 or older doesn't mean you are NOT healthy and vibrant.

It’s estimated that if your mom had you at 50, she’d likely be dead by the time you’re 30. That also could mean that you’d spend a good part of your 20s coping with your parent’s mental and physical decline. As a mom, I wouldn't want to set my child up for that.

And if your mom had you at 20 and died from accident or illness at 30, does that mean she should have been more considerate and avoided pregnancy altogether?

 

[Banned]

This can be a pretty heated topic. I can't imagine having and raising a child in my 50s. Heck, at 37 I think I'm well past my child-bearing time. But, I can also see the side of the logic regarding being more stable financially, having life experience, etc. I think also that 20-somethings now are less mature than 20-somethings from a generation or two or three ago so maybe there is some merit. I think these situations do need to be looked at individually and while it's not fair to say that no one over a certain age should have a child, it's also not fair to say that everyone can or should try to have a child over a certain age.

I can't imagine starting a family that late in life but I also know several people who have done it and are extremely satisfied with their choice. I think it depends on so many things. Someone once said to me "just because we can do something, doesn't mean we should". But does it mean we shouldn't? Like I said, I wouldn't, but far be it from me to judge someone else who would.