Problems Caused by Gossip and how to avoid being a part of it
by Bonnie Meridieth
Helium.com
So many times, people don't understand the ramifications of talking negatively about the people around them that they know. When word of this talk gets back to the subject of these conversations, and it usually does, it can cause problems ranging anywhere between hurt feelings and irreparable relationships.
Many times the reasons of talking negatively about somebody is a matter of not understanding the reasons that a person has for doing something that "the talker" finds unacceptable enough that they feel the need to complain about it to other people. Other times, it's a matter of "the talker" having the type of personality that makes them need to say bad things about people when they are not around to defend themselves.
Whatever the reasons are for someone to deliberately make an attempt at altering people's opinions about another person, the process and the results of this talk can very well cause unjustified anger toward the person being talked about, hurt feelings of the people that are being talked to, and mistrust can be born by all that are involved. Everybody blows off steam within the privacy of people they can trust not to let things go beyond the room they are venting in, but gossip is gossip.
Here are some things you can do to minimize the hurtful talk that is being done, and reduce the amount of stress you yourself are subject to by having to hear these hurtful things on a regular basis. If somebody feels the need to tell you how horrified they are about someone's behavior, consider these things first.
Ask yourself is this something that this person would normally say or do.
Consider the possibilities that there could be the reason for what they did. Many times, people will think something is completely unacceptable, without considering that there may be a perfectly logical reason that a certain act was done. When the reason becomes known, the act suddenly is not so unacceptable, and may, in fact, be the best decision available under the circumstances.
Don't allow yourself to get sucked into jumping on the bandwagon without knowing all of the facts. You may feel like a fool when you find the facts out, and realize that you have helped fuel the fire that will eventually come back to hurt that person.
When there is "talk" going on around you, walk away. Eventually, people will get the idea that you don't want to be a part of the gossip, and they will quit complaining to you.
Talk to the person who is being talked about. Let them know what is being said, giving them the opportunity to put a stop to the gossip, and confront the person who is causing the problem. This also gives you the chance to find out if what you are hearing is true, and what the reasoning behind their decisions are, if the talk is true.
Let "the talker" know that you really don't like to talk about people when they aren't there to defend themselves.
Gossip, whether it be at work, or in your personal life can be a very hurtful thing. Think about what is being said, and try not to be a part of spreading rumors. You will feel better about yourself in the long run if you remove yourself from the situation that is being created, and those around you will come to respect you for not being a part of the problem.
Keep in mind that if someone is willing, and takes joy in talking about the things that other people are doing without knowing the reasons behind it, or enjoys making things up all together, odds have it they are going to talk about you too. By holding out your own judgment until you know the facts, hopefully the person you did not judge will do the same for you when you become the subject of conversation.
by Bonnie Meridieth
Helium.com
So many times, people don't understand the ramifications of talking negatively about the people around them that they know. When word of this talk gets back to the subject of these conversations, and it usually does, it can cause problems ranging anywhere between hurt feelings and irreparable relationships.
Many times the reasons of talking negatively about somebody is a matter of not understanding the reasons that a person has for doing something that "the talker" finds unacceptable enough that they feel the need to complain about it to other people. Other times, it's a matter of "the talker" having the type of personality that makes them need to say bad things about people when they are not around to defend themselves.
Whatever the reasons are for someone to deliberately make an attempt at altering people's opinions about another person, the process and the results of this talk can very well cause unjustified anger toward the person being talked about, hurt feelings of the people that are being talked to, and mistrust can be born by all that are involved. Everybody blows off steam within the privacy of people they can trust not to let things go beyond the room they are venting in, but gossip is gossip.
Here are some things you can do to minimize the hurtful talk that is being done, and reduce the amount of stress you yourself are subject to by having to hear these hurtful things on a regular basis. If somebody feels the need to tell you how horrified they are about someone's behavior, consider these things first.
Ask yourself is this something that this person would normally say or do.
Consider the possibilities that there could be the reason for what they did. Many times, people will think something is completely unacceptable, without considering that there may be a perfectly logical reason that a certain act was done. When the reason becomes known, the act suddenly is not so unacceptable, and may, in fact, be the best decision available under the circumstances.
Don't allow yourself to get sucked into jumping on the bandwagon without knowing all of the facts. You may feel like a fool when you find the facts out, and realize that you have helped fuel the fire that will eventually come back to hurt that person.
When there is "talk" going on around you, walk away. Eventually, people will get the idea that you don't want to be a part of the gossip, and they will quit complaining to you.
Talk to the person who is being talked about. Let them know what is being said, giving them the opportunity to put a stop to the gossip, and confront the person who is causing the problem. This also gives you the chance to find out if what you are hearing is true, and what the reasoning behind their decisions are, if the talk is true.
Let "the talker" know that you really don't like to talk about people when they aren't there to defend themselves.
Gossip, whether it be at work, or in your personal life can be a very hurtful thing. Think about what is being said, and try not to be a part of spreading rumors. You will feel better about yourself in the long run if you remove yourself from the situation that is being created, and those around you will come to respect you for not being a part of the problem.
Keep in mind that if someone is willing, and takes joy in talking about the things that other people are doing without knowing the reasons behind it, or enjoys making things up all together, odds have it they are going to talk about you too. By holding out your own judgment until you know the facts, hopefully the person you did not judge will do the same for you when you become the subject of conversation.
