More threads by NightOwl


Can anybody explain why I feel more badly affected by the lesser parts of being attacked eg. him laughing at me while I was crying, than the attack itself. I'm still trying to come to terms with this, although I feel I'm on stable ground emotionally, but still can't understand why the lesser parts of the attack would seem more to me; I can't remember all of the attack itself, only bits and pieces.


Daniel E.
Certainly, the example you give of the attacker laughing while you are crying helps to personify the callousness of the attack.


I don't know, NightOwl.....maybe the act of him laughing at you while you were in such pain and confusion is one of the more senseless parts? He laughed because he is a sadist. He took pleasure in your pain. It is cruelty upon cruelty. How do we comprehend or make sense of such a cruel act?

It must have been a very terrible and terrifying experience for you, NightOwl.

What helps you cope with these bad feelings?



Dearest NIghtOwl;

I am so sorry you have to deal with this. But, I think I can understand why the lesser act of cruelty hurts so much. It was an added humiliation. Insult to injury. Not only had he violated you, he had to break you. But, dear, he didn't. You are still standing, and you are finding ways to cope with these emotions. Be proud hun, be so proud. You have so much strength. And we are all here. Brightest blessings


Dear NightOwl
I am not on stable ground emotionally and I hope more people respond to your question because it is one that tears me apart. One thing that I have great difficulty with is that so far no-one I have spoken with seems to understand the emotional pain of what you refer to as the 'lesser parts' of the attack. For me I think it is realizing that the person is so cruel/callous that no matter what happens they will never be sorry for what they did. :( Mari


It might be that you feel more impacted by the lesser parts of the attack because you don't really remember the more horrifying parts. Sometimes, our brains have a way of protecting us from things that are really devastating.

It also might be that, by working through the lesser parts of what happened to you, you're re-building your courage, strength and determination. When your mind is ready to deal with the more difficult events of the attack, you may begin to remember more. Having gone through the lesser parts, you'll be more prepared to deal with the really hard parts.

You've got a lot of courage. What was done to you was wrong in every sense of the word. The person who did this is, to me, the lowest form of life.


Mari, I am so sorry that you are feeling on shaky ground. Keep checking in and reading, and I hope that there is something that will help. And just know, we are all here to help, and give any comfort we can. This place is full of wonderful people, I can assure you of that. They have helped me beyond any words I can type.
Stay strong dear, take one day at a time, and when you need us, we are here.

Brightest blessings :heart:


Apologies first for not answering sooner but I've been putting so much time into studies. I would like to say thank you to all of you for all your kind comments and well wishes.

Mari - I'm so sorry to hear that you are still on shaky ground. I know how devastating it can be; I still have my times when it all comes back to me, but these are getting less frequent as time goes on. One of the ways that has helped me, is to concentrate on studying an OU course - it tends to absorb my thoughts; also I'll try putting on a piece of favourite music or just look out the window and watch the wildlife - anything to distract me from bad memories. Also I have the determination to not let him win.

Caring thoughts to you all. :friends:

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