• Quote of the Day
    "Connection is why we’re here…it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives."
    Brené Brown, posted by Daniel

Daniel

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"For women in particular, domestic violence is a leading cause of homelessness...Top causes of homelessness among families were: (1) lack of affordable housing, (2) unemployment, (3) poverty, and (4) low wages, in that order."

~ National Homelessness Law Center
 

Daniel

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Daniel

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Most victims of abusive or violent relationships eventually leave. It often takes several attempts, but a few common themes emerge from womens’ experience finally ending the relationship. One step is confronting reality, by acknowledging that the circumstances will not change, becoming educated about emotional abuse, and realizing the abuse is not the victim’s fault, which allows them to recover a sense of self-worth. Another step is accepting help from family, friends, or a therapist, who can see the situation clearly and provide resources and support. Another factor is the desire to protect the children from witnessing abuse or being abused themselves. The last factor for some is reaching a breaking point, where fear simply becomes overwhelming.
 

Daniel

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“It makes me think that everyone is very wrong, that love should have many conditions. Love should require both partners to be their very best at all times. Unconditional love is an undisciplined love, and as we all have seen, undisciplined love is disastrous.”

― Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl
 

Daniel

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Threats work when there’s an imbalance of power. When your intimate turns to you and says, “Well, if you’re so unhappy, why don’t you just leave?," this is yet another tactic of deflection. Whatever complaint you might have voiced is stripped of its legitimacy and agency because the underlying message is that you’re just a whiner who likes whining; the threat makes you singularly alert and panicked.
 

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Asking yourself which part of you is showing up at this moment—is this your empowered self, or the one who’s scared of being on her own? The one who can be confident, or the one who’s terrified of making a mistake?—should be part of your strategy...

Let’s say you had a confrontation with your partner that didn’t end well, but, at least this time, you held your own and voiced your opinion. Yes, you can criticize yourself for folding at the end, but at the same time, appreciate the progress you made by speaking your truth.

Leaving where we’ve been, even when it makes us unhappy, can be complicated. But it can be done.
 

Daniel

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Since therapists are often unaware of the depths of emotional abuse coming from the narcissist, they likely take what they see at face value. What tends to happen is that the other half of the couple (the victim) gets blamed for most of the struggles in the relationship since they often come across as subdued and quiet in therapy sessions.
 

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Among battered women, a three-phase process can explain the intermittent reward-punishment cycle. During phase one, there is a gradual increase in tension, followed by an "explosive battering incident" in phase two, which is then followed by a peaceful expression of love and affection from the abuser during phase three. The recurring and cyclical nature of these phases gives rise to a trauma bond.
 

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A Victim Advocate is a person who assists victims throughout the criminal process, providing information, support, and resources, help with protective orders, help with submitting Victim Impact Statements and Restitution information, and generally guiding victims through every stage of a case.
 

Daniel

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One main tactic utilized by abusers is minimizing, denying, and blaming. Someone who abuses his partner believes he is entitled to have power and control in the relationship. It is these feelings of entitlement— not an anger problem— that causes him to abuse...

As Maya Angelou said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
 
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Daniel

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More than one in five adult women experience at least one physical assault by a partner during adulthood; as many as one of every two women are affected by sexual harassment over the course of their working lives; and approximately one in eight women have experienced a sexual assault in their lifetimes.

Gender and gender relations play critical roles in directing male violence toward women.

Cultural norms and expectations play critical roles in promoting and shaping male violence against women.

Women living in poverty are at especially high risk for all types of violence--particularly severe and life threatening assaults.

Assaultive and lethal violence against women remain high, despite two decades of increased awareness and legislation.
 
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Daniel

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"You can look at this [domestic violence] as the male backlash that occurs when women try to break away from existing rules as not much effort has been made to address masculine notions of men."
 

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Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) was launched nationwide in October 1987 as a way to connect and unite individuals and organizations working on domestic violence issues while raising awareness for those issues. Over the past 30+ years, much progress has been made to support domestic violence victims and survivors, to hold abusers accountable, and to create and update legislation to further those goals.
 

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