• Quote of the Day
    "Our job in this lifetime is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be,
    but to find out who we already are and become it."
    Steven Pressfield, posted by David Baxter

Daniel

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"Learn to parent yourself. Give yourself nurturance, love, protection and encouragement. Clarify the expectations you had of your parent that he or she never could fulfill. In seeing the relationship for what it was rather than what you wanted it to be, you can grieve what your parent didn't give you and begin to appreciate what he or she did give you."
 

Daniel

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For over 40 years Bereaved Families of Ontario has been supporting grieving Ontarians and today it is more important than ever that we continue our work. BFO offers peer based support at no cost to those in need.
 
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Daniel

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“In American culture, grief is already a very isolating experience, but it has been even more isolating this time around—which is weird because we’re all supposed to be in this collective experience together.”
 

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“Love as powerful as your mother’s for you leaves its own mark. To have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever.”

—J.K. Rowling
 

Daniel

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"Those we love and lose are always connected by heartstrings into infinity."

—Terri Guillemets
 

Daniel

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I have been a widow for 11 weeks. It seems surreal to be writing that sentence and yet it is true. I was there; I know. Richard killed himself at home while I was walking the dog with my daughter, while my son was lying metres away in his bedroom. As a consultant anaesthetist and intensivist (a specialist in the care of critically ill patients), Richard knew exactly what to do. He was 47....

Widowhood sucks. There isn’t much time to grieve, for starters – the first few weeks were dominated by a bewildering array of administrative tasks...

Richard, you were such a vivid presence in our lives. You were funny, impulsive, adventurous, kind. You swore often, with feeling. You loved your wife, your children and your dogs. You were frequently infuriated by your wife and your children, much less often by your dogs. You were always dashing off to swim around an island, go sea-kayaking or fit in a power yoga class. I feel you should be coming home about now, from an overseas conference, perhaps, one that has lasted longer than usual. I can’t begin to imagine how we are going to live without you, as it seems that we must. But we have made a start and I promise that we will do our best to keep going.

I know about mortgage rates now, and how much that boat of yours cost. I have sold the boat, along with much else. I can change a printer cartridge and talk cladding with the builder. I have a lot more to learn, not least how to raise two teenagers on my own, but I will give it all my best shot.

We miss you desperately. We miss infuriating you. We miss being loved by you.
 

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