• Quote of the Day
    "Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes."
    Carl Jung, posted by Daniel
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Daniel

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"Learn to parent yourself. Give yourself nurturance, love, protection and encouragement. Clarify the expectations you had of your parent that he or she never could fulfill. In seeing the relationship for what it was rather than what you wanted it to be, you can grieve what your parent didn't give you and begin to appreciate what he or she did give you."
 

Daniel

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For over 40 years Bereaved Families of Ontario has been supporting grieving Ontarians and today it is more important than ever that we continue our work. BFO offers peer based support at no cost to those in need.
 
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Daniel

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“In American culture, grief is already a very isolating experience, but it has been even more isolating this time around—which is weird because we’re all supposed to be in this collective experience together.”
 

Daniel

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“Love as powerful as your mother’s for you leaves its own mark. To have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever.”

—J.K. Rowling
 

Daniel

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"Those we love and lose are always connected by heartstrings into infinity."

—Terri Guillemets
 

Daniel

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I have been a widow for 11 weeks. It seems surreal to be writing that sentence and yet it is true. I was there; I know. Richard killed himself at home while I was walking the dog with my daughter, while my son was lying metres away in his bedroom. As a consultant anaesthetist and intensivist (a specialist in the care of critically ill patients), Richard knew exactly what to do. He was 47....

Widowhood sucks. There isn’t much time to grieve, for starters – the first few weeks were dominated by a bewildering array of administrative tasks...

Richard, you were such a vivid presence in our lives. You were funny, impulsive, adventurous, kind. You swore often, with feeling. You loved your wife, your children and your dogs. You were frequently infuriated by your wife and your children, much less often by your dogs. You were always dashing off to swim around an island, go sea-kayaking or fit in a power yoga class. I feel you should be coming home about now, from an overseas conference, perhaps, one that has lasted longer than usual. I can’t begin to imagine how we are going to live without you, as it seems that we must. But we have made a start and I promise that we will do our best to keep going.

I know about mortgage rates now, and how much that boat of yours cost. I have sold the boat, along with much else. I can change a printer cartridge and talk cladding with the builder. I have a lot more to learn, not least how to raise two teenagers on my own, but I will give it all my best shot.

We miss you desperately. We miss infuriating you. We miss being loved by you.
 

Daniel

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For over 40 years Bereaved Families of Ontario has been supporting grieving Ontarians and today it is more important than ever that we continue our work. BFO offers peer based support at no cost to those in need.

Zoom-based mindfulness class provided by a large, non-profit hospice organization in Arizona:

MINDFULNESS AND LOSS: CLASS ON ZOOM
Free • Must register to attend

Whether you have lost a loved one to death, estrangement or illness, mindfulness may provide a different pathway for your journey. Join others to learn and practice mindfulness tools that may be helpful.

Three week series:
Sundays, Sept. 11, 18 and 25
1-3 p.m.


After registering, you will receive a Zoom link to enter the program
 
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Daniel

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At first glance, it might seem ironic that developing comfort with the opposite concept – impermanence – is so helpful to us as we mature. However, when we consider separation anxiety develops in connection with object permanence, the irony fades. As infants, it’s precisely because we become aware people and things are relatively permanent that we begin to experience anxiety at the prospect of losing them.
 

Daniel

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Mark Wunderlich on Rainer Maria Rilke’s “The First Elegy”

...In the end, those torn from us early no longer need us:
slowly one becomes unaccustomed to earthly things,
in the gentle way one leaves a mother’s breast. But we, who need
such great mysteries, for whom so often blessed progress
springs from grief—: could we exist without them?
Is it a tale told in vain, that myth of lament for Linos,
in which a daring first music pierced the shell of numbness:
stunned Space, which an almost divine youth
had suddenly left forever; then, in that void, vibrations—
which for us now are rapture and solace and help.
 

Daniel

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"May the lives remembered, the deeds recognized, and the spirit reawakened be eternal beacons, which reaffirm respect for life, strengthen our resolve to preserve freedom, and inspire an end to hatred, ignorance and intolerance."

1662946298573.jpg
Reflecting Absence, the south reflecting pool
 
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