• Quote of the Day
    "There is no better exercise for your heart than reaching down and helping to lift someone up."
    Bernard Meltzer, posted by HBas

Daniel

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The search for a good therapist can be rough. In my experience, it’s like going on a series of particularly emotionally intense dates where you have to wait weeks and then pay them hundreds of dollars to judge you.
 

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Is he endlessly retelling the story because he thinks I’m not getting it? Or does it have some traumatic element I’m not picking up on, and the countless retellings are a kind of personal exposure therapy, possible and safer due to the therapeutic setting. Or maybe it’s an allegory for something very difficult that he can’t yet express directly. No matter, my client, my client who deserves utter attention and unconditional empathy from me, is doing this so it is important. To both of us.

~ David McPhee, PhD
 

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"The more the therapist perceives the client as a person rather than as an object, the more the client will come to perceive himself as a person rather than an object."
 

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APA Dictionary of Psychology

flight into health

in psychotherapy, an abrupt “recuperation” by a prospective client after or during intake interviews and before entry into therapy proper or, more commonly, by a client in ongoing therapy in order to avoid further confrontation with cognitive, emotional, or behavioral problems. Psychoanalytic theory interprets the flight into health as an unconscious defense mechanism. Also called transference cure; transference remission.
 

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"Every day that you are not getting help is another day you have to suffer."

~ Fred Penzel, PhD
 

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I always share with my clients the quote of “keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer”. We naturally shy away from something painful but that only leads us to feel disconnected and not help us understand something painful so that we can better regulate, manage, and possibly control it in the future.
 

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"There is already a substantial gain if, instead of being engulfed by a feeling of doom that he regards as unalterable, the patient begins to recognize it as a problem that may eventually be solved. This step liberates him sufficiently to go ahead. There will, of course, be ups and downs. He may feel optimistic, even overoptimistic, if he acquires some helpful insight, only to succumb to his hopelessness again as soon as he approaches a more upsetting one. Each time the matter must be tackled anew. But the hold it has on the patient will relax as he realizes that he can really change. His incentive will grow accordingly. It may be limited, at the beginning of the analysis, to a mere wish to get rid of his most disturbing symptoms. But it gains strength as the patient becomes increasingly aware of his shackles, and as he gets a taste of how it feels to be free."

~ Karen Horney, Our Inner Conflicts (1945)
 

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"Unlike self-criticism, which asks if you're good enough, self-compassion asks, what's good for you?"

~ Kristin Neff
 

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“The idea of a finished human product not only appears presumptuous but even, in my opinion, lacks any strong appeal. Life is struggle and striving, development and growth - and analysis is one of the means that can help in this process. Certainly its positive accomplishments are important, but also the striving itself is of intrinsic value.”

~ Karen Horney
 

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"People change, not when they see the light, but when they feel the heat.”

~
old adage
 

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“It's not ideas, nor vision, nor tools that truly matter in therapy. If you debrief patients at the end of therapy about the process, what do they remember? Never the ideas—it's always the relationship.”

― Irvin D. Yalom, The Schopenhauer Cure
 

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Many believe what Sigmund Freud proclaimed, that the goal of psychotherapy is to make that which is unconscious conscious.
 

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"I felt completely invalidated."

"The right therapist is out there. And if you, like me, feel disheartened by negative experiences, please keep searching. You deserve happiness and mental wellbeing. The journey will be hard, but you are worth it."
 

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