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NightOwl

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There seems to be similarities between the 2 crimes and yet obviously Worlds apart. The adult is suddenly shocked and the poor child is totally hurt and confused and only when they become an adult do they realize that things just aren't right. We're all severely traumatized and left with nightmares.

Both dealing with trauma, same type of crime but from a completely different angle, and left to pick up the pieces . Through different forums looking for help myself, I found our Worlds are so similar and yet so far apart, I wish I could reach out and help but until I totally understand how to cope with the differences I can't give any advice, and don't intend to as I don't have the knowledge; I can only give love and support.

I never had to cope with childhood abuse, but I have had to cope with sudden rape and it breaks my heart whenever I see a person who has gone through a childhood rape / abuse, knowing they have gone through so much for so many years.

I would appreciate your comments on how to deal with these two issues.

NightOwl
 

HA

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I'm not sure what your asking, NightOwl. Are you wanting comments on how to support someone who is struggling with both childhood sexual abuse and adult sexual assault?
 

NightOwl

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Thanks very much HeathArt for replying. I'm a rape victim and generally coping pretty well, so I'm told, but I know of someone that is trying to cope with childhood abuse / rape; I would love to lend a hand. Yes, I would like to know how to support her more, she was attacked as a very young child and is struggling. I am very worried about her.

NightOwl
 

HA

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It breaks my heart too, NightOwl, that some dear little children had to suffer so much. Life is so unfair sometimes. I have been digging around to try and find resources on how to help a friend who has endured both sexual rape as a child and as an adult. Doctor Baxter has a resource page with reading recommendations for those who are adult survivors.
(Dr Baxter some of these links are broken or changed)

It's hard to find "how to help a friend" resources but maybe if you talk to the people who work with adult survivors of childhood rape it could be more helpful to you.

Looking at Australias statistics for child sexual abuse, it compares to the USA with the reported and substantiated cases of child sex abuse. These are the stats: physical abuse comprised 28 per cent; sexual abuse 10 per cent; emotional abuse 34 per cent; neglect 28 per cent.

This is a very comprehensive page of links from an Austalian Government page.

This site, SHARPP for sexual abuse prevention may be the best place to start because they offer contact for support for friends and had the following article:

For Friends of Survivors
Some survivors feel more comfortable opening up to a trusted friend than they do to parents or partners. The emotional intimacy and routines friends establish together have the potential to be very healing for both you and the survivor, but there are some special challenges that friends and other peers can face as allies.

The closer you are to the survivor, the more closely you will probably identify with his or her suffering. If you live in close proximity to your friend, you might find it hard to sleep if he or she isn't sleeping; your concern might make it difficult to focus on your own work and other commitments. On top of dealing with your friend's distress, you might also be feeling vulnerable yourself. If the perpetrator is someone you personally know, you might see him or her on a daily basis. You might feel unsafe yourself in the presence of that person. You might be questioning your judgment and wondering if you could have predicted the violent behavior. Furthermore, social groups often break up when there is an accusation of sexual violence. Loyalties get tested, and bystanders can feel pressure to take one side over another. If this scenario applies to you, the confusion and upset can be profound. It is important to assess how you can lend support and be realistic about any existing limitations.

Being a caring friend does not mean you have to "do everything right" and be available twenty-four hours a day. Although friends often give an enormous amount of time to the survivors in their lives, they are often less likely than family members or intimate partners to recognize their need for support. SHARPP advocates are available and eager to work with friends, as well as with all other allies.
 
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HA

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NightOwl,

Sorry the SHARPP site is a university site from the US I believe so contacting them is not very helpful to you. Here at this link is a list of phone numbers for NAPCAN. There you should find a local number for you at one of their chapters. I was thinking that talking with someone on the phone who has expereince with childhood sexual abuse may be helpful for you.

:friends:
 

NightOwl

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Hi HeartArt, thank you very much for the information. I hope it can help her, I'm UK based and she is US based. She's the gentlest, sweetest soul and I can't bear the thought of her suffering. I feel so inadequate, all I can offer is friendship.

I'll pass on as much information as I can.

NightOwl
 

HA

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Thanks for letting me know you live in the UK and not Australia, NightOwl. Now we know the resources they have down under for child abuse victims.

:friends:
 

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