• Quote of the Day
    "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."
    Thomas Edison, posted by Daniel
Joined
Jan 20, 2006
Messages
178
Points
16
I've been wonder as to why I'm more popular in real life then on the internet. Is it common to say that your internet friends are better then your real life friends. Would you know the reason for this?
 
Joined
Jun 11, 2006
Messages
5,390
Points
36
i think that is completely dependent on the people involved and what their personalities are like. some people make very good, close friends on the internet. others do not. it depends on your comfort level speaking with strangers and how much you reveal of yourself. it depends on what the other person you are interacting with wishes to reveal of themselves. it's easier on the internet to pretend to be someone you are not. but i think that's about the only difference compared to real life.
 
Joined
Jun 11, 2006
Messages
5,390
Points
36
that depends on the type of people the forum attracts. i think it also depends on whether or not the forum is moderated. i haven't been to many forums but i've seen examples of both types.
 

Rosa

Member
Joined
Feb 11, 2006
Messages
414
Points
16
hello, this is an interesting question. i've made close friends on line as well as in person, both take time. i personally wouldn't visit a website that made me feel 'like crap' or that didn' t have rules of respect such as those here.
bbc has some good points when talking about how much your wiling to expose about yourself-the more open you are i think the more apt you might be to make friends.
As always
Rosa
 

David Baxter

Administrator
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
37,988
Points
113
Tails, it may also depend on how you come across on line. Some people can be much more aggressive online than in real life. Others simply are misunderstood because they don't exprfess themselves well or clearly in writing.
 

^^Phoenix^^

Member
Joined
Mar 28, 2004
Messages
656
Points
16
Hi ST

Also, on the internet, the 'faceless' value of the communication often allows people to be more 'cruel' than they would ordinarily be. And as previously said, misinterpretations occur all of the time. For instance - a person not accustomed to using the internet may not be aware of certain evolved 'ettiquets' such as use of caps for yelling etc.
 

^^Phoenix^^

Member
Joined
Mar 28, 2004
Messages
656
Points
16
Look at it this way

face to face communication is full of nuances that help a person gain meaning from what you are saying, i.e. tone of voice, volume, body language, facial expression. Even on the telephone we can go by tone of voice, speed of speech, volume, etc. When communicating on the computer, all a person has to go by are the words. Which is why subtle type-edits can help make a difference to certain things.

Eg. I am so excited
I AM SO EXCITED

the second one kind of implies loudness... even punctuation can imply feeling, or lack their of. If someone isn't using punctuation, it could mean that their feeling, (anger, excitement, grief) is overwhelming them enough that bothering with the punctuation is too much like hard work.

As was said before - it all leads to misunderstandings which then lead to the negetive posts that you are receiving from others. Its probably not a reflection of your personality or anything like that at all.
:)
 

just mary

Member
Joined
Nov 3, 2004
Messages
754
Points
16
I think I understand what you're saying ST. I don't think Interent friends are better than Real Life friends however, they're just different.

Learning how to chat in forums takes awhile. This is the first and only forum I've ever participated in and there has been a learning curve. It's so easy to be misinterpreted and to misinterpret.

It's nice to know that you have both real life and internet friends, it's good to have a balance. And maybe you just get more satisfaction out of your real life friends versus your online friends, which might be the reason you're more successful in real life friendships. Hope that makes sense. :)

Take care,

jm
 

ThatLady

Member
Joined
Nov 4, 2004
Messages
4,104
Points
36
I administrate a forum that will tear an unsuspecting new poster to shreds in less than a nanosecond, if the "veteran" posters are of a mind to do so. It's the personality of that forum (it's made up, primarily, of gamers). While I don't like it, the owner of the forum allows for that sort of thing, up to a point and within a set of rules.

The best thing to do, as I see it, is to avoid those forums on which you are treated badly. There's no sense in subjecting yourself to disrespect if it bothers you. Some people aren't troubled by it. Others are. If you are, stay away from those forums.

This forum is very accepting of people as they are. That, to me, is what makes it what it is ... a place of support and friendly banter. :)
 
Joined
Jan 20, 2006
Messages
178
Points
16
I used to have a really good friend a couple of months ago. When he said that he didn't want to be friends anymore I cried. If I understand what you're saying. You think that instead of trying to be his friend again. I should just let it go.
 

ThatLady

Member
Joined
Nov 4, 2004
Messages
4,104
Points
36
I used to have a really good friend a couple of months ago. When he said that he didn't want to be friends anymore I cried. If I understand what you're saying. You think that instead of trying to be his friend again. I should just let it go.

Was this an internet friend or a real-life friend, ST? If an internet friend, it's probably best to just let it go. You could try an email to see if this person will tell you what the problem was and what might be done to make things better. If that doesn't work, best just to move on.

If this was a real-life friend, the same methods can apply, but a phone call or personal contact would be preferable to an email. If the person still feels they aren't interested in further contact, you'll do better to simply accept that and move on. There are other people out there looking for friends. You might be the very one they seek. :)
 
Joined
Jan 20, 2006
Messages
178
Points
16
He was an internet friend. I emailed and he said that he didn't care anymore. He even told my friends that I was a p***** of c***** and that he hated my guts.
 

ThatLady

Member
Joined
Nov 4, 2004
Messages
4,104
Points
36
Best thing to do in that case is leave that person be. Internet friendships are tricky, because it's so easy to misunderstand typed messages. There's no facial expression or body language to help define meaning. These things happen fairly often in internet communications. You learn, over time, to use caps, or italics, or smilies to make your meanings more clear ( :D would help to let someone know you were kidding).

Sometimes, it's just better to find other friends. There are plenty of people who will enjoy your company, online and offline. :)
 

ThatLady

Member
Joined
Nov 4, 2004
Messages
4,104
Points
36
Okay. I can be talking with a friend online who says something silly. I can respond with: "You dope!" or "You dope! :D " The first could be taken as an insult. In the second response, the smiley shows I'm kidding.

If I want to emphasize something, I might put it in italics: "There is an Easter Bunny." That emphasizes it's important to me that people know I believe there really is an Easter Bunny. Or, I could say: "There IS an Easter Bunny!" That would do the same thing. It allows you to emphasize things you feel need emphasizing - things you would put more accent on when speaking. :)
 

Halo

Member
Joined
Jul 19, 2005
Messages
7,475
Points
36
Personally I think that smilies are the best way of showing when you are kidding around with someone. I like to use them so that people know when I am joking compared to when I am being serious. I think that by using these features helps with emphasizing a specific word or emotion that might otherwise be seen in your facial expression or heard in your voice if we were to be in front of you.


As for your original discussion about real friends v. internet friends, for me I have found that well first of all most if not all of my internet friends are from this forum and I have found an understanding and bond with them that I do not share with my real friends. I do have a few close friends in the real world who are great however they do not understand depression, anxiety or mental/emotional illnesses at all. I do have to give them credit that they try but just don't understand and so therefore for the support, friendship, acceptance and understanding that I need I turn to this forum. I agree that it is hard at first to understand what people mean when all you have are words on a page, it does get easier when you get to know people better and also when smilies, caps, bold and italics are used.
 
Joined
Jan 20, 2006
Messages
178
Points
16
I understand that. My internet friends offend use sang like lol and brb. I found myself using them as I talk. As for my real life friends I offend talk to them and we help each other out.
 

Halo

Member
Joined
Jul 19, 2005
Messages
7,475
Points
36
ST

I just think that it takes time to get to know people on a forum and for them to get to know you. It is like building any friendship whether online or in real life, it takes time to get to know each other.....same as on here.
 

Latest posts


Top Bottom