Recovery

[Ashley-Kate]

when can you say it? when can you use the terms recovered? Will i ever be able to say i am Ashley without an eating disorder or will my thoughts go back to the eating habits? Will i always be the girl that thinks twice before eating a piece of cake?

I was wondering that today because i have not made myself throw up in over 3 weeks and i have been eating "more" healthy than i have been in a very long time and i am not talking eating salads and good food i am talking eating meals eating with people. I do realize i still have many eating disorder thoughts and that i will probably have them for a little longer or for a very long time i was just wondering ... is this recovery?

I can live with this i really can, i want to know though just for my objectives if i aim to never worry about calories again would that be too high of an objective.. I know i can't right now but eventually will i ever be able to do that?

I am eating i am looking into recipe books for things to make for dinner. I am tasting things and allowing myself to "like" certain foods! I have discovered i really hate olives, but i really love zucchini. I love all fruits and vegetables well except olives, there is so much food as well so much to try.. i feel free in some odd way yet another part of me feels unworthy of this new found freedom i am still battling with whatever is inside of me but i feel better every day i feel better. I wanted to write this to you all so that other can know that it's possible. I may have a hard day but i will know i have had good days.

yours truly me :2thumbs:

 

[crzycadn]

Re: recovery

Excellent question - maybe when you actually don't think about it anymore, you really are recovered - just my opinion. In any event, by the sounds of it, you are definitely on your way and it's great that you are conscious of your feelings and eating habits.

That is awsome about your progress! One of my greatest pleasures in cooking and hosting delicious dinners - who knows - maybe you'll be a good cook too!

:2thumbs:

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Cooking was one of y favorite things to do even before i started to get better. But now will actually be able to enjoy what i cook! thanks for the encouragment. and yes i do believe i am wel on my way to recovery. Although i don't think not ever thinking about calories will ever happen but then again there are many people without eating disorders that watch what they eat i think i wll simply be someone that is very health concious and will eat very foods. and i am happy about that if my eatign disorder brought me one aspect is healthy eating not that i was but more along the fact that i tried and it went way wrong so now i know all the dangers all the things i need to watch for and i think i can do it properly this time.

 

[forgetmenot]

Great news Ashley-Kate thanks for the update I am so happy for you.

 

[crzycadn]

You are one smart cookie! Of course you are right. There is nothing wrong with counting calories and being conscious of what you eat to maintain a healthy weight.

You sound so excited about discovering your likes and dislikes about foods you are trying. How delightful for you!