Releasing the anger

[Blue Boris]

My therapist suggested that I release my old anger by beating my bed with a foam bat. I've done this but can't seem to really get in touch with any anger, or sadness. I get a bit worked up, sometimes I laugh at it all.

Do you know of any tips to help me release pent up (repressed childhood) anger?

Thanks.

 

[Daniel E.]

My therapist suggested that I release my old anger by beating my bed with a foam bat.

Yeah, though everyone is different, that is outdated advice, at least for anger in general:

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/anger-ma...low-alone-better-ways-to-deal-with-anger.html

Also mentioned there:

To Forgive or Not Forgive: That is the Question | Psychology Today

 

[Retired]

tips to help me release pent up (repressed childhood) anger?

Boris,

One way that often helps some people is to write a letter to the person responsible for your childhood anger, telling them, in your letter exactly how it made you feel when they did the things that caused your distress. Hold nothing back, using the best language you know to really tell them how it was and how it is after all these years.

The letter doesn't have to be delivered, but I can say, from first hand experience, having done exactly what I have described, was a pivitol moment for me in dealing with some long standing issues I had with a particular person in my childhood.

If you wrote such a letter,would you feel comfortable in sharing it with your therapist?

 

[Daniel E.]

Also, a related discussion:

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/adult-survivors/23540-is-getting-angry-the-only-way-to-heal.html

And in case this is relevant:

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/adult-survivors/23747-how-toxic-parents-affect-depression.html

 

[Blue Boris]

Here are some links for people intrested in expressing their anger in a healthy way instead of repressing it.

My Depression. My Anger. My Baseball Bat.

Anger: deal with it, heal with it

---------- Post added at 08:09 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:06 PM ----------

I feel that there is some benefit for me to hit the pillow and scream and yell. To release my anger, to experience it.


I think that once I experience it I can move past it.

 

[Daniel E.]

Yes, depression is sometimes seen as suppressed anger. Clinical depression is more than that, though.

 

[Blue Boris]

Isn't it true that I have to hit bottom before I can be healed. That I have to get angry before I can move on from my childhood?

 

[Daniel E.]

I don't know, so hopefully you'll get more replies. But when you mention things like "hitting rock bottom" and foam bats, I can't help but think of the unsuccesses of primal therapy in the 1970s or whenever it was. People would go into private rooms and scream for a variable length of time about what daddy did or didn't do. Or they would start hitting stuff with foam bats. There's a reason most people today don't know what "primal therapy" means because it is very outdated.

 

[Blue Boris]

I want to believe that I know the way to healing, but I'm also willing to believe that I don't know everything and want to try new things.

My therapist things I need this, but I don't know if I agree.

I want to at least try it.

---------- Post added at 08:43 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:26 PM ----------

My thoughts or concerns are that I'll experience this anger and focus on it instead of moving on, growing up and getting on with life.

 

[Daniel E.]

Does your therapist do CBT? That's usually the recommended therapy for pretty much anything, including overcoming childhood neglect/abuse/trauma.

Even in treating children, CBT is often incorporated into the treatment, e.g:
Abuse-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Child Physical Abuse
Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Addressing the Mental Health of Sexually Abused Children

 

[Daniel E.]

BTW, from The Feeling Good Handbook:

I have seen few, if any, patients whose depression resulted from repressed anger. I do not believe Freud's theory has a great deal of merit, although large numbers of people still believe it. However, my clinical experience has led me to the overwhelming conviction that anxiety and panic--and not depression--do result from repressed anger. People who suffer from anxiety and panic attacks nearly always have unexpressed negative feelings about some problem in their lives. You may not be completely aware of these feelings because you push them out of your mind. When you deny your feelings and avoid conflicts that are bothering you, you will start to feel nervous and panicky. When you confront these problems, your anxiety will frequently diminish or disappear.

There are two kinds of feelings that people with anxiety are likely to deny: anger and unexpressed wishes or desires...You may deny your feelings and ignore certain problems in your life because you don't want to upset anyone or hurt their feelings. Suddenly you're worrying and having panic attacks and you have no idea why! It becomes so important to be nice that you get distracted from what's really bothering you. It's as if you think you don't have permission to feel the way you do. When you ignore these feelings of resentment and frustration, they may get converted into anxiety. You may dwell on your anxiety and your feelings of panic instead of dealing with the problems that are bothering you. When you confront them, you will often feel relief. (pg. 213-215)