Scared about SSD time-frame and being homeless

[NapsWithCats]

Feeling scared and anxious that SSD (first application) won't come through. It takes 6-8 months here and it's only been a couple of months since I applied.

Place I'm living now, they were friends of mine and I'd been their pet-sitter for about 2 years and became their live-in pet-sitter (converted garage/large).

Being red-cross certified in dog and cat first aid, I care and speak up when I see something wrong and had been letting them know over the 2 years about 2 cats, well 3, but that one did not receive treatment even though I tried, but when they did finally take him in, he died 3 days later.

Anyways, I crossed a boundary (on a bad PMS day) in a nice way, though, writing and saying that I was going to take the 2 cats to the vet while I was going to be pet-sitting during their vacation. They became irate (never had with me before at all) and wrote back that I am no longer their pet-sitter and in January (after holidays) they were going to talk to me about "my living arrangements", and he brought up everyone he's talked to said they should evict me immediately (I don't know what he told them).

I had apologized the next day for the e-mail and promised I wouldn't take the cats in for sure, but they changed their locks and I'm allowed no interaction with their animals, even though he's said I was the best pet-sitter he knew. They are very unsanitary people (poop on floor, don't clean litter every day and not enough litter for their 9 cats (they also have 4 dogs).) One of their dogs, about 6 months ago started becoming aggressive and I told them he needs to go to the vet 'cause any sign of change of behavior is almost always a sign of sickness. Instead, they kept this precious dog in the garage (where I would lay with him when I pet-sat. He was dog-aggressive. So about 2 months of being in the dank garage, (before it was converted) and after all this punishment to this dog, they took him to the vet. He was dying of leukemia and needed to be put down about 3-4 weeks later.

I know I was wrong to write that I was going to take their cats to the vet (one super dehydrated and they wouldn't even let me give her fluids, and the other with the rankest breath ever who also had cerebral palsy, but that bad of breath is indicative that it will infect the heart and possibly liver and she will not live much longer. I'm so sad to see any animal that is chronically uncomfortable and just wanted to help. I offered to pay (even w/hardly any money) to take their cats in.

Anyways, I've never, ever been evicted, have great references, have no idea what their timeline for getting me out of here is, but I know I can't live without my cats, I will go right back to a suicidal state (when I had money, I paid for a no-kill shelter to take them all in in case something happens to me, so they will have a place to go, worst case scenario), but they are my family, each and every one of them, and the special needs cats I have - no one will adopt.

I feel very fearful, more and more because if they want me out before I hopefully get SSD, which is likely, I don't know what to do.

Any suggestions would be helpful and I would feel so appreciative. They said there is no way to speed up the process.

Thank you in advance for any offers of suggestion, similar situations and what happened or comments.

Julie O'

 

[Daniel E.]

Feeling scared and anxious that SSD (first application) won't come through.

Those concerns are valid since, generally speaking, that is what usually happens with the initial claim. OTOH, most people don't seem to provide overwhelmingly convincing documentation (at least as far as the Social Security Administration is concerned).

Have you had a specialist physician, e.g. psychiatrist, fill out paperwork specific to the disability claim, namely a residual functional capacity form? If not, there is definitely still time do to so.

Also, I think some Social Security Disability lawyers may provide services to people even during the initial claim, rather than just during the appeals process. However, that is just based on a single commercial I saw on TV. But what I know for sure is that, at least in the appeals process, even the Social Security Administration recommends getting a lawyer (with the lawyer getting paid 25% percent of the backpayment after the claim is eventually approved).

 

[NapsWithCats]

Thanks!

I printed out both forms. All I attached was a letter from my previous Psychiatrist (who I cannot afford anymore) stating my Diagnoses as PTSD and Severe Depression. She sent them along with her records to the clinic where I go now and I've seen that doctor about 4 or 5 times and he doesn't not appear comfortable, nor does he really answer any questions.

I have been on a waiting list for quite awhile to see one of their Psychiatrists (4 or 5 months), so have been without one for some time now. I miss my old one here. It was a long drive (about 40-45 minutes) and I'm not liking driving anymore to any length unless it's down the street to the post office or store (just like when I was misdiagnosed, on way too many of the wrong meds and became reclusive - now I'm on the right meds, but am once again reclusive).

I'm not sure who to ask to fill out the forms. My food stamps lady at Social Services helped me fill out the disability paperwork and put only the mental stuff, didn't want to put any of the physical stuff - flat out wouldn't do it, still not sure why. The supposed case-worker I'm assigned to (again, about 40-45 minutes away) I have only talked to once, she asked me a bunch of questions - that was a month or two ago and I've left 2 or 3 messages for her, but with no return call (just like the Housing Authority, although I know they must have a long wait line).

Would you be willing to provide your opinion as to whom should fill out this paperwork? I believe my old doctor will not because "I am not her patient anymore". I think I tried with something else at one point. Should I spend the little money I have to see her again since she knows me? (I'd ask my previous Psychiatrist, but he shot his wife, 7 year old and then himself which is how I ended up seeing the last one). I haven't even processed that yet and am guessing it will come out physically like much does.

Thank you much for that information on the forms!!!

Julie O'

 

[Jazzey]

I don't know how it works in the US, but here in Canada, your GP can fill out the disability forms for you. At the top (or bottom) of the form, it should tell you who is accredited to fill out the forms for you.

 

[NapsWithCats]

Hey Jazzey,

It just says ". . . your patient's impairments." Doesn't say any type of doctor for the Mental one.

Sooooooooooo tired today, hard to get out of bed to write this!

Thank you so much!

Julie O'

 

[Daniel E.]

I really don't know who should fill out the forms other than a psychiatrist, and the forms I linked to are not the only RFC (residual functioning capacity) forms available as I don't remember if there is a standard mental RFC form.

What I would try to do is talk to a Social Security Disability attorney with a lot of experience, let them know I was interested in them at least if my case needed to be appealed, and maybe even ask them for the RFC form(s) they use in a mental health claim -- though I have no idea if they will actually give them to a prospective client.

Also, your local library may have an edition of this book:

Nolo's guide to Social Security Disability : getting & keeping your benefits (Book, 2008) [WorldCat.org]

If not, they should be able to get it for you by inter-library loan.

As stated in that book, it seems there is a mental RFC form that SSA uses internally:

Nolo's Guide to Social Security ... - Google Books

ssa-4734-f4-sup - Google Search

It seems these internal RFC forms used by SSA's claim examiners are what Social Security Disability attorneys use as a basis for their own RFC forms for physicians to fill out.

 

[NapsWithCats]

Thanks so much, Daniel!

I'm going to try looking under California Court Forms and see if just maaaaaybe they have a form there. If not, hmmmm, I truly do not have
money for an attorney, but have plenty of Legal Secretary/Paralegal experience, so maaaaaaaaybe I and a representative from Social Security(?) can do it.

I really, really appreciate your help a lot! Thank you for caring enough to look that stuff up. I've never been in this place before. I'll also have to see if they have that book on CD or DVD as my vision has been going ka-ploonky! (So miss reading like I used to).

Thanks ever so much again! )))

Julie O'

 

[Jazzey]

Thanks so much, Daniel!

I'm going to try looking under California Court Forms and see if just maaaaaybe they have a form there. If not, hmmmm, I truly do not have
money for an attorney, but have plenty of Legal Secretary/Paralegal experience, so maaaaaaaaybe I and a representative from Social Security(?) can do it.

I really, really appreciate your help a lot! Thank you for caring enough to look that stuff up. I've never been in this place before. I'll also have to see if they have that book on CD or DVD as my vision has been going ka-ploonky! (So miss reading like I used to).

Thanks ever so much again! )))

Julie O'

There are some tremendous "free" advocates out there...Inform yourself as to those particular resources.

Also, there are some wonderful attorneys who will do pro-bono work (i.e. free of charge) for the sake of advancing a 'good' cause. Again, do the homework and see who's out there.

good luck. :support:

http://camhpra.org/home/
http://www.mhac.org/
http://www.mhas-la.org/
http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/publications/allpubs/stateresourceguides/California01.asp

 

[Daniel E.]

There are some tremendous "free" advocates out there...Inform yourself as to those particular resources.

That is a good idea, though I don't have personal knowledge of such resources.

A pro-bono directory for California at the American Bar Association's website:

Pro Bono Directory - California

If you do get a Social Security Disablity lawyer to fully represent you, the cost would be 25% of your backpayment:

Attorneys have traditionally not become involved until the claimant has been denied benefits. Undoubtedly many claimants who are clearly disabled believe they will have needlessly paid an attorney fee if they win initially, and many attorneys believe collecting a fee on such an initial win to be unfair to the client. However, in general, good representatives prefer early involvement because issues can be identified and dealt with early on. Since lawyers are paid a percent of back benefits (typically 25%) the attorney fee paid on an early win will be rather modest. We advise that claimants begin looking for good counsel early on by interviewing prospective lawyers. Even if you have not yet been denied social security benefits, you may find retaining an attorney makes sense for you.

About.com: Guide To Winning SSDI Benefits On The First Try

And every lawyer that I know of will give a free consultation, which is good for getting tips that are specific to your situation (or at least getting some questions answered).

Certainly, if your claim was denied and you were in the appeals phase, I would get a lawyer. But even at this initial stage, getting a lawyer may be worth it since it seems you really can't afford to wait around. And, frankly, it seems the odds are against you at this point-in-time since it seems you currently have a lack of documentation.

http://www.abanet.org/legalservices/probono/directory/california.html

 

[NapsWithCats]

Yeah . . .

If denied, I'd hopefully be able to find an attorney willing to represent me pro-bono or go in pro per.

Thanks you guys for your help. Feeling a little nervous about it all and trying to stay positive about the odds. Thanks for the Pro Bono listings. There is one in my County. They don't do Social Security, but do housing at least.

Julie O'

 

[Jazzey]

Yeah . . .

If denied, I'd hopefully be able to find an attorney willing to represent me pro-bono or go in pro per.

Thanks you guys for your help. Feeling a little nervous about it all and trying to stay positive about the odds.

Julie O'

There are a lot of good lawyers out there...hang on, there are good people out there who believe in advocating for mental health.

 

[NapsWithCats]

Thanks Jazzey,

I think my biggest problem will be not being believed (like my mom not believing I was raped with a knife at my neck when I was 16 and punished me; the Psychologist who sexualy exploiting me saying horrific lies about me in his deposition (I still got a large settlement which is gone now); family, for a long time, not believing I was having serious problems. I try not to be a burden, so I smile when I talk and am nervous and scared a lot, etc.

Julie O'

 

[Jazzey]

Our truth is our own. As my closest friend, and boss would say "suck it up, buttercup".

in this lifetime, we need to believe in ourselves. No one else will do this for us. It sucks, but it is reality. I'm proud of you for going through the deposition - that took a lot of strength that, for myself, I don't think I have at this point.

Having said this - I've learned that we are entitled to our truth. So, what does this mean on a daily basis? For me, it means that I know what happened to me. It means that I do not need anyone to validate that experience -I remember the details. That is entirely for me. It also means that I, in no uncertain terms, accept that no one will ever understand what precisely it represented for me - and, that's ok, finally...took a long time to get here.

That's my experience. I've learned a lot. I'll use it to my advantage in the future. The pain is real. But, other than other rape victims, I know people just can't understand the ravage. And, I've accepted it...finally. Now, it's about me - thank God...and, finally. It's finally about my own journey - no one else's.

 

[Daniel E.]

BTW, a second pro-bono link: http://www.lawhelpcalifornia.org/CA/StateChannelResults.cfm/County/%20/City/%20/demoMode/%3D%201/Language/1/State/CA/TextOnly/N/ZipCode/%20/LoggedIn/0/iSubTopicID/1/iProblemCodeID/1713100/sTopicImage/ACF115.gif/iTopicID/840/ichannelid/137/bAllState/0

Nationwide:

http://www.lsc.gov/map

 

[NapsWithCats]

Ahhhhhh, these are big trigger words for me, personally - I take full responsibility for that. I hear "suck it up, buttercup" or "get a grip" (that type of thing) when I'm reaching out for help - which is almost impossible for me to do, and 100% was for amost my entire life - these types of phrases, words, etc. - I react by reclusing, closing down and definitely would never reach out to this person again as I still see myself as a burden just being born 90% of my life. (My deposition lasted 3 days with 5 attorneys on the defense side and just me and my one attorney on the other).

I'm not asking for a response to this posting at all - just that, well, as a friend of mind used to say (and probably still does) - "Different strokes for different folks."

What I have learned is to stay hypervigilent with peoples' intentions (among other things). I know your intention here is a good intention. Just can't hear with any kind of peaceful feeling "suck it up, buttercup." Absolutely nothing personal.

Julie O'

Our truth is our own. As my closest friend, and boss would say "suck it up, buttercup".

in this lifetime, we need to believe in ourselves. No one else will do this for us. It sucks, but it is reality. I'm proud of you for going through the deposition - that took a lot of strength that, for myself, I don't think I have at this point.

Having said this - I've learned that we are entitled to our truth. So, what does this mean on a daily basis? For me, it means that I know what happened to me. It means that I do not need anyone to validate that experience -I remember the details. That is entirely for me. It also means that I, in no uncertain terms, accept that no one will ever understand what precisely it represented for me - and, that's ok, finally...took a long time to get here.

That's my experience. I've learned a lot. I'll use it to my advantage in the future. The pain is real. But, other than other rape victims, I know people just can't understand the ravage. And, I've accepted it...finally. Now, it's about me - thank God...and, finally. It's finally about my own journey - no one else's.

---------- Post added at 05:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:36 PM ----------

Thank you, Daniel!!

Great resource, too! :-D

Julie O'

 

[Jazzey]

Ahhhhhh, these are big trigger words for me, personally - I take full responsibility for that. I hear "suck it up, buttercup" or "get a grip" (that type of thing) when I'm reaching out for help - which is almost impossible for me to do, and 100% was for amost my entire life - these types of phrases, words, etc. - I react by reclusing, closing down and definitely would never reach out to this person again as I still see myself as a burden just being born 90% of my life. (My deposition lasted 3 days with 5 attorneys on the defense side and just me and my one attorney on the other).

...me too, Julie. These days, I'm very easily wounded. But, I also recognize that the injury is something that I take on, not something imposed. So, at that point -it's about me, not about others.

What I have learned is to stay hypervigilent with peoples' intentions (among other things). I know your intention here is a good intention. Just can't hear with any kind of peaceful feeling "suck it up, buttercup." Absolutely nothing personal.

Not taking it personally. It took me a long time to hear that phrase in a 'positive' light. The person who fed me that line - someone who'se life was a lot harder than mine. His way of lending me strength at a time when I had none. Sometime, we just have to look at those around us, and recognize that they support us in the best way that they can. It may not be the way that we romanticize - but, it's still support.

Finally, I am a lawyer - a good lawyer, a compassionate lawyer. I've always cared about people. My career choice -doesn't change the foundation of "me"...This is me, and irrespective of the career, I will undoubtedly continue to care about people.

 

[NapsWithCats]

Sometime, we just have to look at those around us, and recognize that they support us in the best way that they can. It may not be the way that we romanticize - but, it's still support.

Exactly what I was trying to get across when said about "nothing personal" and "I take full responsibility . . ."

Finally, I am a lawyer - a good lawyer, a compassionate lawyer. I've always cared about people. My career choice -doesn't change the foundation of "me"...This is me, and irrespective of the career, I will undoubtedly continue to care about people.

Hey, I'm an ex-Legal Secretary/Paralegal (20+ years).

My intention was only to explain the trigger, definitely-positively was not intended to judge your care of others. I'm just looking for a place I can be my authentic self because I have no other way of being. Was just reaching out here because I need somewhere to feel safe in being my authentic self.

Julie O'