Hi, there!
I've never used a forum of any kind before so please bear with me.
Last night, my boyfriend had a bizarre fit of crying that was very unlike him. I considered posting under the Anxiety & Stress or Panic Disorders topics but I have been reading about these topics and his case really didn't seem to match.
He had been drinking wine and beer with a couple of our friends at a dinner I had at my house. As the night went on, most people left except for a few close friends. At this point I could tell he was too drunk.
He is usually quiet and passive but now he was arguing loudly and talking in circles. I tried to help explain the things he was saying because noone could understand, but he became angry with me. He didn't lash out or anything, just withdrew into himself and ignored me. This hurt my feelings a lot but I knew he wasn't trying to, so I went to bed and resolved to talk about it with him in the morning.
Twenty or so minutes later, everyone left and he crawled into bed with me. He slept on the other side, didn't say a word, and made a special effort not to get near me. I told him I was angry. He pulled out his cellphone and started texting and I knew he was texting his roommate. So I made the comment, "Texting your girlfriend?" I realize it was kind of mean but I honestly felt hurt by the way he treated me... he had never done that before.
Then, maybe 60 seconds later, he jumped up, started throwing on his clothes, fell to the ground and then ran for the door, crying really loudly. This caught me off guard and I didn't know what to do. I stopped him before he could leave my house and told him if he needed a ride I could give him that.
He was crying really loudly at this point. Almost screaming. I can't remember exactly what happened next except that he ended up back on top of my bed curled up tightly and crying so hard that he was gagging and wretching. I saw his hands clapsed really tightly together and this morning there were purple marks from his fingernails.
After a few minutes of this, and being really weired out, I realized it was something more than just being drunk and crying. I tried to get him to relax and stop shouting. He wouldn't let me touch him for a good 15 minutes but after that, just holding him seemed to help. I knew in the back of my mind this was probably something to just ride out, but I still almost called an ambulance.
He said he felt like dying.
He said he couldn't breathe.
He said he couldn't stop.
His face was pale pale white and his nose was running a lot.
His eyes were bloodshot (maybe just drinkind and crying).
His whole body was tense and when he wasn't flailing around he was completely rigid except for occasionally shaking really violently.
And all of this was sputtered to me inbetween really intense crying. I told him to quiet down thinking that would make him stop but I think it just made it worse.
He just lay on my bed looking at the ceiling with his mouth open and his eyes darting back and forth across the celing crying silently.
I saw blood in his spit and I'm guessing it is from stress on his throat or something.
This is when I almost called 911 because he really wasn't controlling his body or face anymore and it was terrifying.
I tried to help him control his breathing by breathing with him and talking slowly. I held him for a good while and sang to him. This seemed to help the most but as soon as I would stop he would start shaking and any progess we made in calming down was lost. After holding him and reminding him to relax his hands and his neck and to control his breathing he calmed down enough to lay on my bed completley exhausted and still sobbing. I kept telling him we would get through this and that tomorrow he could tell me all about what was going on.
In the morning he told me that it was an "anxiety attack" and that he used to get them a lot in middle and highschool but that he hadn't gotten one in a long time. When I asked how long, he said a year.
Is this really a long time to not have an attack?
It doesn't seem so to me, but I wouldn't know. He hasn't ever seen a professional about this.
He said they would always happen when he was by himself in his room and the only people that knew about these attacks were probably his two brothers and maybe his mom (his parents had a messy divorce when he was in 8th grade that left the house in ruins and his family too). And even those people would have only known because they heard him in his room.
He apologized a lot and cried some more and I got the impression that he was really embarassed.
Anyways, I know that was long I just wanted to be thorough. Could you point me in a direction that could help me understand what he was going through?
If he will go through it again?
If my course of action was correct?
Or maybe you could tell me if I've been dating a crazy person. I don't really think so, but I would just like some reassurance or a little help. I guess I want help with helping him.
Thanks for reading all that.
I've never used a forum of any kind before so please bear with me.
Last night, my boyfriend had a bizarre fit of crying that was very unlike him. I considered posting under the Anxiety & Stress or Panic Disorders topics but I have been reading about these topics and his case really didn't seem to match.
He had been drinking wine and beer with a couple of our friends at a dinner I had at my house. As the night went on, most people left except for a few close friends. At this point I could tell he was too drunk.
He is usually quiet and passive but now he was arguing loudly and talking in circles. I tried to help explain the things he was saying because noone could understand, but he became angry with me. He didn't lash out or anything, just withdrew into himself and ignored me. This hurt my feelings a lot but I knew he wasn't trying to, so I went to bed and resolved to talk about it with him in the morning.
Twenty or so minutes later, everyone left and he crawled into bed with me. He slept on the other side, didn't say a word, and made a special effort not to get near me. I told him I was angry. He pulled out his cellphone and started texting and I knew he was texting his roommate. So I made the comment, "Texting your girlfriend?" I realize it was kind of mean but I honestly felt hurt by the way he treated me... he had never done that before.
Then, maybe 60 seconds later, he jumped up, started throwing on his clothes, fell to the ground and then ran for the door, crying really loudly. This caught me off guard and I didn't know what to do. I stopped him before he could leave my house and told him if he needed a ride I could give him that.
He was crying really loudly at this point. Almost screaming. I can't remember exactly what happened next except that he ended up back on top of my bed curled up tightly and crying so hard that he was gagging and wretching. I saw his hands clapsed really tightly together and this morning there were purple marks from his fingernails.
After a few minutes of this, and being really weired out, I realized it was something more than just being drunk and crying. I tried to get him to relax and stop shouting. He wouldn't let me touch him for a good 15 minutes but after that, just holding him seemed to help. I knew in the back of my mind this was probably something to just ride out, but I still almost called an ambulance.
He said he felt like dying.
He said he couldn't breathe.
He said he couldn't stop.
His face was pale pale white and his nose was running a lot.
His eyes were bloodshot (maybe just drinkind and crying).
His whole body was tense and when he wasn't flailing around he was completely rigid except for occasionally shaking really violently.
And all of this was sputtered to me inbetween really intense crying. I told him to quiet down thinking that would make him stop but I think it just made it worse.
He just lay on my bed looking at the ceiling with his mouth open and his eyes darting back and forth across the celing crying silently.
I saw blood in his spit and I'm guessing it is from stress on his throat or something.
This is when I almost called 911 because he really wasn't controlling his body or face anymore and it was terrifying.
I tried to help him control his breathing by breathing with him and talking slowly. I held him for a good while and sang to him. This seemed to help the most but as soon as I would stop he would start shaking and any progess we made in calming down was lost. After holding him and reminding him to relax his hands and his neck and to control his breathing he calmed down enough to lay on my bed completley exhausted and still sobbing. I kept telling him we would get through this and that tomorrow he could tell me all about what was going on.
In the morning he told me that it was an "anxiety attack" and that he used to get them a lot in middle and highschool but that he hadn't gotten one in a long time. When I asked how long, he said a year.
Is this really a long time to not have an attack?
It doesn't seem so to me, but I wouldn't know. He hasn't ever seen a professional about this.
He said they would always happen when he was by himself in his room and the only people that knew about these attacks were probably his two brothers and maybe his mom (his parents had a messy divorce when he was in 8th grade that left the house in ruins and his family too). And even those people would have only known because they heard him in his room.
He apologized a lot and cried some more and I got the impression that he was really embarassed.
Anyways, I know that was long I just wanted to be thorough. Could you point me in a direction that could help me understand what he was going through?
If he will go through it again?
If my course of action was correct?
Or maybe you could tell me if I've been dating a crazy person. I don't really think so, but I would just like some reassurance or a little help. I guess I want help with helping him.
Thanks for reading all that.
