Should I just wait?

[Banned]

Last Monday my therapist sent me a text message an hour before our app't, saying she had to cancel as her dad was rushed to emerg. Wednesday night I sent her a quick note asking how her dad is (translation: when do you think I'll see you). I haven't heard back and definitely don't want to push in case things didn't/aren't going well. As morbid as it sounds, I read the obits every day and haven't seen his but that doesn't mean things aren't good.

Today I really needed some advice/feedback so I called my previous therapist which is fine with all three of us, but I'm wondering if I should just sit and wait now to hear from her. Historically, she's not great at calling when she says she will or responding when she says she will, so part of me is afraid she'll forget I exist and months will go by and I'll never hear from her again. I want to respect her circumstances, but I'm also afraid that I won't hear from her again if I don't remind her I'm alive.

Do I just wait, or send another note later this week?

 

[Lana]

What about calling her office and asking her secretary directly?

 

[Banned]

She doesn't have a secretary. I'm her only client right now and she rents a colleague's office for the hour/week we meet. She also left her full-time job last week and is supposed to start a new job this week, so it's not like I can call her voicemail at work and see if she says she'll be away until such-and-such-a-date. I'm going out of my tree though waiting for a phone call or text message.

 

[ladylore]

How often are your appointments BG? I would call a few days before your next scheduled or supposed to be appointment just to see where things stand. Especially if she has a habit of not getting back to you. It will help ease your mind and help you make plans in either case.

 

[Halo]

BG,

Are you scheduled to see her this week? If so, I would drop her a quick text message or email saying that you hadn't heard from her one way or the other and was just wondering whether you are still on for your appointment this week. I think by putting it that way it definitely puts the ball in her court and may force her to get back to you to let you know what is going on.

 

[Halo]

Ladylore it looks like we were posting at the same time and thinking along the same lines. Great minds think alike

 

[Banned]

We don't have regularly schedule app'ts - we schedule week to week for the next week, so I guess I'm "regular" in that I do normally see her every week, but the days/times change from week to week.

So no, I don't have another app't scheduled. <sigh>....I feel like I'll never see her again.

 

[Banned]

It appears we have a very informal/casual relationship which has it's upsides and downsides.

 

[Halo]

In that case, I would give it a little more time say mid-week which would be about a week since your last note just checking in to see how things are doing and when you will be able to schedule another appointment. I think if you ask her about scheduling another appointment that it will prompt her to have to return your text/email. If you just ask how things are going she may not respond.

I know how hard it is not knowing what is happening with your therapist as I went through something similar myself. I do remember that feeling of "I will never see them again"...it is a difficult thing to get out of the head once it is in there but you really have to try and remember that they care and will come back when things are taken care of. I know easier said than done but keep repeating it to yourself if you have to. She does care and will be back.

Take care
:hug: :hug:

 

[Banned]

Thanks Halo and LL. I will give it until mid week then and then ask her if she's available yet to see me, I suppose. Hopefully I'll hear from her first so it won't be too awkward for me.

Ok, I need to go learn about synaptic transmissions. I know - tres exciting!

 

[ladylore]

Ladylore it looks like we were posting at the same time and thinking along the same lines. Great minds think alike

Great minds do think alike.

Another though BG is to also keep your request formal. She is your therapist and you her client. As a therapist she also has a responsibilty to inform her clients about what is going on and a timeframe of when she is expected back.

That way you also may be helping her out around needing to get back to you emergency or not. My :2cents:

 

[ladylore]

Review of Synaptic Transmission

 

[Banned]

Thanks LL. I'll give her a couple days and then try texting again. Email isn't great cause she only checks her email once maybe twice a week. I use her email as my "journal" so if I think of something to journal to her then she might write back saying she read it but things are in turmoil and she'll get in touch with me soon...so that is another option as well.

Part of me doesn't want to push because all things considered things are ok right now and I'm not in crisis. The flip side is, it's been three weeks and I really want to get back - when we take breaks like this I re-adjust to not having therapy, and then it's really hard to get back into it when we restart so....

 

[Banned]

HAHA. Thanks for the review!

I've decided that statistics really shouldn't be necessary for a BA. They confuse me!!

 

[Halo]

BG, I hope that you can put your mind to rest a bit about this and maybe she will get back to you soon. :hug: :hug:

Thanks for link Ladylore as I had no idea what it was although at this time of night it is wayyyyy over my head mg:

 

[ladylore]

Niether did I and inquiring minds want to know. I hate statistics myself BG. When and if I go back to school that is a course that I am dreading but will need to take it for Social Work.

 

[Halo]

BG, I can relate about taking breaks in therapy as I have always had problems getting re-started again after a break and that was no matter which therapist I was seeing. I just find the breaks so disruptive that I like to keep things on schedule. Sometimes when I am re-starting I have the feeling like I am starting all over again.

I really do hope that you hear from her or that you text her and you schedule an appointment soon. I will keep my fingers crossed for you :crossfingers:

 

[Banned]

Ladylore,

I think I will take statistics next (right now I'm just getting an overview of it) so that it's out of the way and I hopefully never have to think about it again!! It is interesting but not *that* interesting haha.

 

[ladylore]

How are ya doing BG? Feeling a bit more settled about your therapist?

 

[Banned]

Halo,

When I take a long break I feel like I've made it that far on my own, so why go back and yes, it's almost like starting over and if her dad does/did die, I'm going to feel guilty - even though I'm paying her and it's my time I'll feel like I should give her an outlet to talk if she needs one. It's like I need to extend her the same courtesy she extends me, which...makes no sense. I know.

It's frustrating too cause we were just getting into some deeper and heavier stuff, and now we've lost that momentum, and it's going to be hard restarting it. This is how my first session back will look:

Her: So how have you been?
Me: Good.
Her: Good?
Me: Yes. Nothing going on. Oh - decided to go back to school, so I'm doing distance learning.
Her: Really? What are you taking? blah blah blah....
Me: idle chit chat
Her: idle chit chat and then...well that's our time for today. Did you get what you needed out of today?

And then we'll rebook. But from there it will pick up. It's almost like we (I) need the session of nothing to re-orient, and I hate slamming her on our first session back after a break.