Someone please help...

[Steven.H]

Hello

my fianc?e suffers from bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder she's on medications that help but I still feel this
is taring us apart.

2 days ago I woke up at 7 am and saw she was up and we started talking on aim out of no where she breaks up with me I was a mess that entire day I work in the city and was a complete mess when I got home I went over her house she was out with her friend so me and her mom talked and then me and her talked by the end of the night she was crying telling me how much she loves me and how good I treat her which is true I've always treated her so well...

Yesterday we go to a picnic with my family We got into a little fight So we went for a walk around the water I asked her why she does this to me and before I could finish she says maybe I'm falling out of love with you and then we sit and she says I'm not sexually attracted to you and apologizes. Not more then an hour later she's telling me how cute I am and how adorable I am

My brain is soooo tired. I just feel lost sometimes. After I dropped her off home I wanted to finish talking and she said I just wanna go inside I don't want to think about any of this I kept saying we had to talk. It got to the point where she was yelling and laughing.

I finally let her out of the car and I drove away. On the way home I got a text saying I'm so sorry I'm like this .... Within the past 4 months she's called me fat along with other names and now this yet always says I'm so cute and always apologizes for the way she is....

I love her soo much someone please help me tho my brain is starting to get real messed up what can I do I really really need help she taring me down. And all I do is love and care for her.

Can someone help us?

 

[Jazzey]

Hi Steven,

I'm so sorry you're going through this. For right now, I would just give Mia a little space. Let her sort it out in her mind. It sounds as if she's confused. Tell here that you're ready to talk to her when she's ready.

At least, that's what I would do. So many things could be going on right now in her head....

:hug::hug:

Added: Came back because something was bothering me. You say that she's calling you fat and insulting you in other ways. Please don't ever accept that for yourself Steven. If she wants to break up with you, that's one thing. Don't ever let her insult you in the process. It's not acceptable.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Can someone help us?

Is she in individual therapy currently?

Is she taking prescribed medications regularly? Is she using street drugs?

Have you talked about trying couples counselling?

 

[Jazzey]

Steven,

At some point in the next few days, I'd like you do to something for yourself. Can you go back and read the threads that you've posted here since joining?

I just went back and re-read most of them. I'm wondering if re-reading them now, for yourself, wouldn't give you a bit of insight into your situation. Just a thought.

In those threads, many of us recommended therapy for you alone. I still think this is good advice for you today Steven. I can't help it - right now, I just want you to focus on yourself and feeling better. You've been in this bad place for quite a few months now even though for you I'm sure that you're bad feelings stem from this recent breakup. But if you look back as late as March 2009, I think you'll see a pattern to your thinking...

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Jazzey's suggestion is a good one. If you read your old threads, I think you'll see that you've been on this hamster wheel for a long time. Nothing is going to change until you both make some changes. I'm using "both" deliberately here: As long as you see this as solely "her problem" and something that "she needs to fix", you're unlikely to see much progress.